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How to not look middle aged

993 replies

Justtakeatowel · 17/06/2020 19:30

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

OP posts:
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36
merrymouse · 18/06/2020 20:25

I've never heard of Lucy Worsley but that photo on p12 is an abonimation - the coat, the tights, the shoes, the hair - no, just no. She looks way older than she is.

I think she looks great because she looks alive and engaged and as though she really enjoys wearing clothes - but that would come across more in a TV program when she is talking about her subject than in a photo.

However, you probably have to bear in mind that I think the Queen is a style icon too. I love the headscarves. Grin

Railingsohno · 18/06/2020 20:26

@JMAngel1

Well , the oversized coat keeps me snuggly and I usually wear a boob tube under the bare shoulder jumper to keep me warm Grin
I think my issue is I love being comfortable above all else! I don’t think I’m unstylish but I couldn’t be doing with boob tubes and sweaty pleather 😱😁 fair fair play to you!
JMAngel1 · 18/06/2020 20:27

Oh no, my tan leather gladiator sandals are gorgeous - really battered looking - think Sincerely Jules.

candilemon · 18/06/2020 20:27

Oh THAT Rick. Gotcha.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 18/06/2020 20:28

Having wavy hair means it can be blow dried into all kinds of styles so maybe have a practice at that. YouTube is great for that. You have a great figure so I would think you could pull most things off. Maybe book into a personal shopping session at John Lewis if they're doing them. It's a great way to try out different styles and colours

JaneJeffer · 18/06/2020 20:32

I love Lucy Worsley. She wears what she likes instead of following rules set by someone else!

Feefsie · 18/06/2020 20:35

You look lovely, you are very slim and have nice clear skin. I’m 52 and VERY middle aged and frumpy. Don’t start doing expensive, time consuming beauty routines, diets or exercise programs. Buy some new clothes, have a facial and a good haircut. You are still young and look it. Retailers make women feel insecure about their looks to make money.

SirVixofVixHall · 18/06/2020 20:42

I think Lucy Worsley looks amazing. I met her briefly at a book signing, she is incredibly well dressed and stylish, with wonderful skin.
She is in her late thirties though, isn’t she ?

AsCoolAsLangCleg · 18/06/2020 21:11

I'm too pale and Northern European to wear camel - olive skin tones only. Breton tops are a classic and will come back but they look tired right now (and they don't suit everyone anyway). I've got a lot of Vivienne's 12 items.

Alsohuman · 18/06/2020 21:15

Lucy Worsley is 46, my husband adores her - especially in a bonnet or a bustle.

Ginfordinner · 18/06/2020 21:15

@DisgruntledGuineaPig

oh god yes, puffer jackets are about being warm over style. Fine if you really really need to be warm and not bothered at all about being stylish. If you'd like to look stylish and it's not -5 degrees, wear something a bit more flattering.

I dont' get the anti wool coat thing, I usually wear them over winter, I also own umbrellas.

Sorry, but wool coats and umbrellas don't really work in wet and windy rural South Yorkshire. I do have a smart wool coat, but we very rarely get cold dry days, and I really CBA lugging an umbrella around.

It is hard to be stylish and warm and dry!

I agree. I wish stylish clothes could be more practical. In winter off the shoulder jumpers and V necks just don’t cut it for me. I need to feel warm. I want to look stylish, but not at the expense of feeling comfortable.

Glasses can be gorgeous - just go big and black rimmed

Nope. Been there, done that, and it really doesn’t suit me.

XingMing · 18/06/2020 21:20

@Railingsohno

Classic but has a bit of an edge - maybe her hair helps? Also the cropped high waist straight jeans are more up to date. I’m learning that it’s often about the details.
Fashion and style is ALL in the detail. Whatever look you like and want to make your own, you have to refine personally via your body shape and personality, or it won't work. Changing the hem length on your jeans may force you to wear longer or shorter shirts, or hair. But the onus is finally on you, the individual, to look critically in a mirror and say yes or no. It really, really isn't about how much money you can spend on clothes, but about the judgement of yourself and how you look in what you're wearing.
Railingsohno · 18/06/2020 21:23

@Ginfordinner are you me?! Grin

I tell you what’s been amazing for me the last winter was getting some thin silk thermal long sleeve and sleeveless vests. They’ve allowed me to wear stuff I never normally could and still stay warm. They’re not too hideous either! Also thermal tights haha. I’ve had loads of compliments about something I’m “stylish” I’m wearing at work and I’m thinking jeez , if only you could see how my vest was tucked into my thermal tights 🙈😁

Railingsohno · 18/06/2020 21:26

I’ve just got some high waisted cropped straight Levis . They’re a very different silhouette but look a lot more stylish and up to date than my skinnies. It’s getting used to wearing a more fitted top half that I find tricky. Like I used to pre skinny days ...

AltogetherAndrews · 18/06/2020 21:30

I’m mid 40’s and regularly get told I don’t seem it, people tend to guess mid 30’s. I’m attractive enough but not beautiful, my nose is profoundly squint.

I think it’s attitude that makes you look younger, and the feeling lost and unsure and trying to blend into the background that ages you. I look back at the photos of me when my kids were young, and I look older then than I do now, when I was unsure of myself and wearing safe and easy clothes that everyone wore, to fit in at the office, and to avoid drawing notice to the baby weight. I currently have a health problem which means I am not fit, nor slim, nor well rested. I have very long, Brightly coloured curly hair, I don’t do well groomed, or chic, or classic. I wear lots of black, a bit goth, short skirts, a big fake fur coat in winter that looks fairly tatty. Black eyeliner. I never wear heels, always doc martens. Never get nails done, just chuck on black nail varnish. I think just wear what you want, but be bold with it, dressing safely looks old. I don’t follow any of the rules, I just wear what I like and don’t worry about what other people think. I have learned what suits me and the groomed look ain’t it. There are some things I like on other people, like biker jackets, but they don’t look good on me, so I don’t bother. I don’t try to look young, or old, I just wear what I find appealing, and as I have got older I have gotten braver with it.

I also don’t mess with my face, no Botox, no fillers, I hide the forehead wrinkles behind a fringe but that’s it. I’m just going to let my face do its thing, I have earned every line and crease, and they are part of me. I want know what I will look like as I age, and I want to look like me!

Looking at the photos you posted, my suggestions would be: your hair is fine but needs to be in better condition, curly hair takes time to work out what product works for you, so keep experimenting til you find the right thing. I find Curlsmith products excellent, but buy a sample size of anything new, until you are sure it works for you. Find a hairdresser who specialises in curly hair, most hairdressers, even good, expensive ones, don’t have the first clue how to cut or style curly hair, so they will always get the shape badly wrong.
Ditch the Breton tops, they are dull and the kind of thing my 70 year old mother wears. Go bold, and accept that sometimes you will get it a bit wrong, start to have fun with clothes again.

JMAngel1 · 18/06/2020 21:30

@PhoneLock
Wow, amazing figure!

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 18/06/2020 21:55

It’s all down to opinion at the end of the day none of us are right or wrong but for me nothing screams more middle age style than a biker jacket, especially teamed with a dress and trainers, I think when the female presenters are wearing this look on Escape to the Country it’s definitely middle age uniform territory.

Terralee · 18/06/2020 21:57

I think a lovely smile & happy friendly expression also work wonders.
Frowning gives you wrinkles!

One photo that got me a lot of compliments is where I was holding a friends little dog which made me really smile in the photo!!
So I've noticed that I do look just better in photos when I'm smiling & I think that translates to real life too.

I know I've got a bit of 'resting bitch face' which I think can be quite ageing so I'm concentrating on trying to look happy even if I'm not really, basically faking it a bit like with the confidence.

MellowBird85 · 18/06/2020 22:07

I’ve just spent £130 on ASOS because of this thread! I’m only 34, petite but I’m in a massive rut of bootcut jeans, snug tops with 3/4 length sleeves (most of them stripey) and pumps! Only halfway through the thread but loving reading everyone’s tips Smile

@PhoneLock you look amazing!

AsCoolAsLangCleg · 18/06/2020 22:11

Cashmere sweaters are your friend, cold people - Uniqlo are amazing quality for the price (and buy a comb to keep them bobble-free).

CallmeBadJanet · 18/06/2020 22:19

Sunglasses. All the time.

Ginfordinner · 18/06/2020 22:20

I think we were separated at birth @Railingsoho Grin

I usd to enjoy watching Gok Wan, but he always put his women in short sleeves and shoes with vertigninous heels that no-one can walk in. One of my friends suggested that he came to Yorkshire and dress a woman stylishly for our climate and lifestyle.

Railingsohno · 18/06/2020 22:25

@CallmeBadJanet

Sunglasses. All the time.
Yes! Great name 😎
Railingsohno · 18/06/2020 22:26

@Ginfordinner

I think we were separated at birth *@Railingsoho* Grin

I usd to enjoy watching Gok Wan, but he always put his women in short sleeves and shoes with vertigninous heels that no-one can walk in. One of my friends suggested that he came to Yorkshire and dress a woman stylishly for our climate and lifestyle.

I know! I’m even further North than you 😁
dycey33 · 18/06/2020 22:39

@Clockonmantlepiece lol totally agree tho not sure about the botox..
I love the French polished look, very natural ...but at the same time, they have worked super hard to look effortlessly chic lol

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