How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

I can't think what someone would have to look like to look dreadful in a camel coat! As long as you pick your shade of camel to suit your colouring and buy a good quality coat in a cut which fits you well it can't possibly make anyone look dreadful. You might prefer grey or blue - they are basic colours too and also just as classic a look as camel! What we are saying is that a classic wool coat in a neutral colour is chic!

In terms of trainers...

• avoid black - any other neutral colour is better than black
• avoid superga - ubiquitous
• avoid veja - just not cool

Anything else goes :-)

I'm the last person to give any fashion advice but please, please, if you haven't already, get the bloating checked out with your GP.

Apologies if you already know this, but it can be a sign of a serious underlying problem, e.g. ovarian cancer.

Sorry, back to the fashion chat.

It's intersting how many on here are convinced they can always tell if someone's had botox and it always is obvious compared to someone who's just lucky to age well.

I must confess I was the same, until a mum from my DC's school admitting having botox and I genuinely wouldn't have said she'd had it. But she's spent a lot of money and does still look like she's in her 40s with a few tiny wrinkles, just healthy/aging well. I would presume that most woman if they are having botox, want to be completely smooth. The trick seems to be to just do a little bit so you are aiming to look 2-3 years younger, not 2-3 decades younger. (I'm not sure if that makes sense!)

If you are convinced that you can always tell botox, and also convinced you know lots of woman who are just aging well, be open to the idea some of the 'aging well' woman might have had some help, particularly if they are wealthy.

Breton tops aren't universally flattering, as pp said. If you are busty they look awful.
A decent quality breton top can be a good look and is a classic but the look has been done to death, and can make you look like mum on the school run.

@DisgruntledGuineaPig agree. I thought similar about a school mum. Always looked super fresh but natural and my husband annoyingly said she looked very young. I didn't suspect Botox because she had a natural look in general. One day she turned up with pin pricks all over her forehead and was chatting with another
Mum about rushing from for pick up from her Botox treatment. Botox is very useful and you do not have to look frozen. I love the stuff

Let's just agree on that a classic well-cut wool coat is a very good thing!

The sort of colouring I was thinking of as not going well with camel was, for instance, the 'Snow-White' look - pale, bluish-pink skin, dark hair, blue eyes.

But I do agree that on many people, camel can look great. I like it with browns, creams, rusts, olive green, black and brownish reds. I don't like it with jeans or any kind of blue, however. But each to their own. We all have different tastes.

oh and trainers, if they are white, make sure they are clean-ish.

Actually, at 40+, make sure all your clothes are in good repair and neat. Polish shoes/boots. Iron clothes (including t-shirts) and sew back on falling off buttons. Retire clothes as soon as they look a bit bobbly/out of shape (this is where the more expensive clothing works as it looks good for longer).

In my late 30s I had my shoulder length hair cut into a pixie cut and it instantly made me look far less frumpy. I still have much the same cut 5 years later. However it does require frequent trims, definitely no more than 6 weeks between hairdresser visits. 12 weeks into lockdown I'm wishing I still had the frumpy shoulder length hair...

You look great for a start! I like your shorts and your jumper. That sort of style is perfect IMO.

Funnily enough, my DH said I looked older when I tried the curly girl method (cheers DH!) and I’m ‘only’ 34z

Agree about posture.

I follow a couple of women on instagram who are in their 50s and do advanced yoga - handstands etc. They look amazing because they are so graceful.

However, thinking about it botox might be easier!

Also agree about Lucy Worsley' style - but I think one of the reasons she makes it look good is that she always looks fit and energetic.

@candilemon

Esme on the sewing programme looks a bit stuck in a time warp and wants the world to know she worked / works in fashion.

See, I think all the camel coats are in the time warp category, they bore the hell out of me - and make me look terrible anyway because only cool colours suit me, if it’s not on the grey/blue spectrum it doesn’t work. As to wanting people to know she works in the fashion industry, I don’t think it’s conscious although it obviously influences her. It would influence anyone.

Thanks for the IG recommendations - I followed instylebyhelen and 40plusnotdoneyet

Weight and bad hair are the most aging things. I think bad hair is more aging that bad skin sometimes
I am v slim (5 7 and just over 8 stone) and have a v youthful body but my hair is shockingly bad and thin and I do think it adds years to me. To counter it normally I get extensions and blowdrys most weeks so you can imagine how gorgeous I am on lockdown.. NOT !!!

If Hush, Mint Velvet, Veja and biker jackets and dresses are all out - can someone suggest mid-price shops or brands and looks that are unfrumpy, please? I can't afford £300 for a dress, sadly. Am 56, look quite young facially, am 5'8" but am overweight - was a size 14 pre-lockdown but now a 16 and very fed up about it.

If you feel good and like how they look yourself I wouldn't worry about the frumpy blanket ban given by some pp. IMHO!

If we all have to buy certain things to avoid looking middle aged, (even though we are middle aged), yet mustn’t buy things that much younger women buy, in case we look as though we are saddos clinging on to our lost youth, then surely we will all end up in the same things anyway, and these things then become “middle aged” by default ?

For all ages- dress to suit your shape and colouring ( if you care about clothes), and buy things you love. If you feel fed up about ageing then do something nice that makes you feel alive.

I don't really like any of my clothes!

@Leelaloo COS, Arket and other stories.

Cos is really good for when you want to pretend to be an architect (that might just be me).
Arket is good for most stuff but esp for basics.
Other stories is good for stuff that’s not basic, mad skirts, fun but not shitty accessories etc.

Posture ++++
Eyebrows, neat and sculpted +++
Get your colours done so you are wearing colours that flatter, I don't think any of those outfits went well with your skintone or hair. They didnt' look bad but I don't think they flattered. Your colouring is warm toned, so maybe golds, olives, khaki. Could be quite wrong but the strappy top was washed out colour, and white and navy are pretty severe.

Well said SirVix

If Hush, Mint Velvet, Veja and biker jackets and dresses are all out

They aren’t out, that’s just daft, it’s about picking the right pieces, that fit well and you’re confident and comfortable in, that make you feel good.

No shop is out, just pick the right pieces. It’s not about fashion, it’s about wearing well fitting clothes that look good on you.

I had never heard of Cos but now I've seen their "crinkled technical raincoat" - I can sleep easier at night

Supermarket stuff can be fine but I can't really help without knowing what you look like.