How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

@Leelaloo - they aren't out! Some people have a huge issue with fashions that are predominately aimed at over 40s, which the dress and biker jacket look is. For me, frumpy is more looking like you aren't trying or are wearing the same thing for 15+ years.

Mint Velvet do some very nice, good quality clothes. They are 'safe' in a way, which puts them as an automatic 'nope' for some.

Set against that, Cos and Arket always look shapeless to me, stuff that looks fabulous on the tall and thin, but excentuates the lumpiness of those of us who have lumps. But if you like the shapeless look, these are better quality clothes. (And you can get a few things in there that are nice without looking like your off to look at a Japanese pottery exhibition).

I look frumpy in Cos

Also really cannot wear camel.

And like black trainers!

OP, if you’re bloated by the end of the day, look at your diet as it’s something you’re eating that is causing this. Maybe look at Fodmaps as it’s probably something your body is having trouble digesting. Additionally, problems with bloating and not digesting food properly is also a sign on perimenopause. Something else to consider.

I think good skincare, ‘diet’ and experience is key to looking good. Botox and other aesthetic treatments are not the answer. I also agree with those posters who have suggested adding some colour to your hair. Learn how to define your eyebrows too. Anastasia Beverly Hills brow wiz is a wonderful product for this.

Good luck, frumpy is a state of mind anyway, and one that is easy to overcome!

Cos and arket are ok if you are a 6ft Scandinavian, less good if you are 5’3” with hips and boobs.

Wool camel coats look very nice - but crisp sunny days are few and far between in the U.K. There is a good reason why the anorak is our national costume!

You have a lovely figure but a bit of the waist into hips thing. It's fine, because your hips are nice and slim, but the clothes look is very boring and the hair has to go.

You can wear anything really, that's fashionable and would look great with a straight choppy bob.

There are multiple reasons I think Mint Velvet particularly awful. I’ve just looked at the New In page and there it all is - fussy prints and details, uneven hems, embellishments, there’s even a “studded waterfall cardigan”. If you’re into that kind of thing and prepared to pay their ridiculous prices, fill your boots but I think it’s all got middle aged written all over it.

@Leelaloo, Kitri Studio, Rouje and Sezane are mid-priced ranges. NRBY is good for comfortable casual clothes that work for home and close. Small independent boutiques that sell Sandwich, Yest, Masai, and tons of other lesser known makes are often wonderful for something that's not the High St chains. Lands' End has its moments, amid a lot of dross, and is usually solid on construction and fabrics.

FreakStar

Yes!

This is all very interesting!

*If Hush, Mint Velvet, Veja and biker jackets and dresses are all out - can someone suggest mid-price shops or brands and looks that are unfrumpy, please?

😆

I thought most posters on Mumsnet love Hush.

I don’t get it...

Mint Velvet sounds like a sister of Per Una.

I absolutely love & Other Stories.

Good quality clothes and always something interesting. I always get asked where I got any item I wear of theirs. I also like their Punk Bouquet hand lotion.

These threads unfortunately attract those who say that virtually every garment from any shop is social death. Likewise home decoration threads where everything is naff apart from furniture personally inherited from the Eames themselves. It even extends to friends: you’re an utter saddo for attempting any social interaction at work/school gate etc and the only real friends are ones you’ve had for at least 20 years.

I’m now supposed to view my Superga trainers as being as deadly as a pair of Clarks mum boots...

Avoid anything that might be described as ‘classic’ - you’ll just look dull and it’s very easy to tell a cheap trench coat etc.

Do not wear a puffer unless you are Italian.

Ok, you don't look middle aged in those pics OP. Your style does look a bit dull though. I think you'd look good in slim fitting jeans, a good bra, a fitted but not too tight T-shirt style top and a cropped jacket. Also some heels if you like them.

Hair could use a bit of volume and slightly longer (shoulders maybe). Accentuate your eyes if you don't already, and use lots of moisturiser before bed.

@IrmaFayLear

Cos and arket are ok if you are a 6ft Scandinavian, less good if you are 5’3” with hips and boobs.

Wool camel coats look very nice - but crisp sunny days are few and far between in the U.K. There is a good reason why the anorak is our national costume!

I emphatically disagree with this, I’m 5’4” with a true hourglass figure, ie. breasts and waist equal size, and a small waist, and 70% of my wardrobe is from COS. I’d be quite naked without them! I do find Arket more difficult, although their accessories and homeware are great.

I don’t own an anorak either. I do have a few trench coats though, a key item for inclement weather.

I’m struggling with those who have named Lucy Worsley as someone who is stylish. I think she’s somewhere between dreadful frumpy and looking like a toddler’s idea of how an adult should dress.

I didn't know who LW was so I google image searched her. She's very twee isn't she? Her style looks like she is trying to look younger but has gone a few decades too far, with the hairclips, coloured tights, Mary Janes.

I’d look like a right plonker walking the dog in a trench coat. Trench coats are very nice if you are nipping along the Left Bank, but big practical problem- they have no hood!

I’m struggling with those who have named Lucy Worsley as someone who is stylish. I think she’s somewhere between dreadful frumpy and looking like a toddler’s idea of how an adult should dress.

I had to google her. Either google was not kind to her or she is very frumpy imo. With only a couple of exceptions, she looks like she's wearing her mum's clothes in every photo.

marking place - need to read this later when I have more time. I am in the position of life having totally got ahead of me while I haven't had time to keep up or evolve with it... my style is frozen in time while my body definitely hasn't! My sense of identity has some catching up to do!
Thanks for the thread OP.

“Do not wear a puffer unless you’re Italian “ is so true and could be said of many vetements and our general British (lack of) style

oh god yes, puffer jackets are about being warm over style. Fine if you really really need to be warm and not bothered at all about being stylish. If you'd like to look stylish and it's not -5 degrees, wear something a bit more flattering.

I dont' get the anti wool coat thing, I usually wear them over winter, I also own umbrellas.

Don’t cut hair , short hair is sooooo ageing

I think a nice puffa jacket can look stylish. I think the worst things are clothes that are a bit expensive and trendy so you look like a footballer’s wife (or in my case a footballer’s wife’s mother...).