How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

I personally think the fit, style and cut of the clothes is much more important than the colour scheme. I don't think neutral colours are inherently more "chic", they can look blah - someone like Mindy Kaling wears bright colours, isn't slim, yet looks incredibly stylish.

Thanks @terralee that's really useful and good advice. I will ask around. Is your sister happy with them? Do you like them ? I guess once its done its permanent

I prefer not to wear jeans with a camel coat. That really is a cliché! Playing catch up here but someone previously said that randoms told her she was pretty. Not sure that would make me feel entirely comfortable. Someone else talked disparagingly about silk scarves!

@Terralee oh yes micro bladed brows are a good shout. I've got those too lol

@Clockonmantlepiece

Unfortunately you are going to need to spend more money. Much more. I went through this too. It's like a taboo / secret that no other woman will tell you but it's quite simple, and they all do it, then lie about it.

Buy more expensive clothes from cool shops.
Do not shop for clothes in supermarkets.
Have expensive haircut. Keep it maintained.
Have botox. This is important.
Optional - Have fillers.
Wear heels. Watch youtube video on styling and copy them.
Have nails and eyebrows done professionally in 'natural' (ha!) beauty style.
Keep fit - optional
I'm not sure about face cream. I think its a myth.

I know you'll think the above is ridiculous and not for you.
The secret is, it can all be done so subtly, that 'maybe she's born with it'. (Like fuck she is!). They perpetrate the myth that the above is only for barbie / Katie price types. They are lying. Above is most often just done to a 'naturally healthy' stage to eliminate frumpiness.

I disagree with so much of this (sorry Clock ) and agree with some.

Yes to keeping hair maintained - this doesn't have to be a 'older persons' sensible helmet haircut, but you do need to look after the style and colour.

Botox - that's a no from me. I have a few friends who started having it a couple of years ago and along with that and the fillers are starting to look a little 'waxy' and nothing says 'I think I'm getting old' than a face full of botox and fillers.

Heels - I think they can be very aging.

Keep fit - def not optional, it's essential IMO

Nails and eyebrows - yes, but I would say that at any age, not just middle age.

Face cream - absolutely. Doesn't need to be expensive, but make sure you moisturise like your face depends on it (it does) and drink enough water.

And dress for your shape, not the shape you want to be. Though luckily for you, you have a fantastic figure.

Instagram is your friend

Look up hashtags like #over40fashion
#40andfabulous #over40style

Loads of inspiration depending on your style. My favourites include

Midlifechic
InstylebyHelen
40PlusNotGivingUpYet
StealMystyle40
Caroline Barnes (for makeup and skincare)
Emma Hill

A chic look:

All of these have slightly different styles but once you find someone who chimes with your favoured looks and/or lifestyle it can be revelatory.

I really agree re high heels. I have a gorgeous looking friend in her early 50s who looks incredible, she is naturally pretty and makes a HUGE amount of effort (and is open about it and about the colossal amount she spends) and can comfortably pass for about 45 (which is the effect she is going for).

When she goes ‘out’ out, she always wears stiletto heels and it instantly makes her look that full five or more years older again which is absolutely not what she wants. But she is wedded to the heels.

I think they are usually (not invariably) very ageing, pointy-toe pumps like the ones Kate Middleton wears especially (not knocking her, just saying her shoes are very ‘classic’ and not in a good way; they work for what she needs them to work for) are particular culprits as are stiletto knee boots.

@candilemon

A chic look:

Sorry.....I think this is so mumsy. I live in a middle-class town with lots of SAHMs in their 30s and this is what they all wear when they go for their mid-morning Costa.

@candilemon ye I wouldn't be caught dead in that getup tbh

I agree that latest photo candilemon is a shocker.

I am 54 and think it looks really mumsy and old fashioned.

I am addicted to my Jaeger camel cashmere coat though

It's interesting isn't it. We are all very different. I wouldn't wear the striped top and neck scarf combo either. I have just bought this - DSis immediately said its awful.

Of course every knows if you've had fillers or Botox.
But of course friends aren't going to comment. Because they're friends and the type of person who has Botox or fillers can only be extremely insecure (they wouldn't have it otherwise), so a friend is not going to say anything. And so the circle continues.

And I would only wear my silk scarves like this atm

I have my Mum's good genes so at 47, not got any grey, good natural eyebrows, olive skin but could do with losing at least 1/2 stone. I'm starting to think I need to sort my wardrobe out this winter as know I'm starting to look older soon and I'm not really trying (dress casual most of the time)
. So find this really interesting and helpful.

@BeijingBikini

Not at all! How can you not appreciate that? It’s basically French style which always looks attractive and classy. Even 18 year olds look great in camel and soooooo many of them wear it

Style is so personal though. I hate neutral colours and think it's so ubiquitous, the camel coat and khaki top with a black bag and jeans. Boring. Everything in my wardrobe is a bright colour or print. I'm sure people think I look like a kid's TV presenter/art teacher, but I like it, and we should dress to make ourselves feel happy and confident - not for other people's approval. I would feel so depressed in a camel or khaki item.

It is very personal. I'm sure you look lovely but I'd feel really silly and conspicuous in bright colours and loud prints. My wardrobe is almost entirely neutrals (black/grey/navy/burgundy/khaki apart from band tees, some leopard and a few random things I happened to like) and almost all my jewellery is small and delicate. You'd probably think I was very dull but iI'm just happier in more classic stuff.

Yes, I only just got a camel coat last winter, it's my smart work coat. It goes with everything and I wish I'd had one before.

Not at all! How can you not appreciate that? It’s basically French style which always looks attractive and classy. Even 18 year olds look great in camel and soooooo many of them wear it

Who wants to dress exactly like everyone else though? I'm no trailblazer when it comes to fashion, but I don't want to look the same as every second person that I see. That look is a little clone-like and sometimes I see people dressed in a 'Parisian chic' outfit that doesn't necessarily suit them, they wear it because the think it makes them look classy. Some women can really carry it off and look fabulous, but not all.

Hahah am lol re denim shorts

Yeah I meant hotpants not the kneelength ones where legs look like sausages !

@candilemon

A chic look:

God, that’s dreadful.

Livelovesara on Instagram or

livelovesara.com/

has got a great rock chick vibe and loves her jeans. She does loads of capsule wardrobe ideas. I love her style even if mine is a bit more classic.

Wear bold colours , that vest is so meh ! Your figure is great and you could easily look very cool !

[quote chubbyhotchoc]@candilemon ye I wouldn't be caught dead in that getup tbh [/quote]
Agreed. That is absolutely not a look that would make me look anything but older than I am.

The thing is that there isn't just one way to dress- I think looking chic is more to do with how you carry yourself, your body shape and posture than anything else. I have a colleague that always looks very sophisticated, even when she's wearing jeans and a jumper- when `I asked her where her clothes are for it's always new look or uniqlo- o me the same things would probably look completely different!