How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

And I know that heels make me look better, feel better, make clothes look better - but I have arthritis in both feet (one of the penalties of ageing) which means that I can only wear heels if I stand still or sit down all the time. I can only walk in heels if I do a peculiar 'waddle', and it hurts.

Which leaves me up shit creek in the shoe department. Can wear wedges, but they aren't exactly elegant!

You have a great figure great gentics OP, probably just a bit of toning up a bit for your own self confidence is all thats needed, nothing too drastic.. as some inspo for this age & stage of life check out this lady on on instgram does my bum look40... she has similar frame, with a fantastic wardrobe (out of my league budget sometimes) however, pic n mix on her photos for styles she carries off very well between high street and classics. I aslo love amothersedit... she does great shopping trips.. probably more 30-40's style, however easily accessible clothes shopping and good pointers for where to look.
Also follow Trinny, she can help get you around Zara, joules, Boden in classic styles vs trend.
Invest in good blazer, jeans or (maxi skirt) and white t shirts is an easy start, then build on from there.. have fun, experiment and wait for the compliments... start with small changes and your metamorphis will occur over the next few seasons.

I think the priority is not to look younger (although agree that looking your best, healthy and glowing etc is good), but to avoid looking frumpy. (although dislike that word as it's sexist).

I was much frumpier in my 30s when, like many, I lost my way in the baby years. I had a bob, wore White Stuff, breton tops, was a couple of stone heavier. I looked younger. But a bit mumsy cliche.

Now it's all about staying slim, and toned, and healthy, not wearing frumpy clothes, good hair etc.

I do think the stripy top is a bit fumpy (sorry OP - I did wear bretons in my 30s but don't now at all).

Have no objections to grey hair and wrinkles. because I don't think we should erase age.

agree with the short shorts comment. For me, the best length for skirts and shorts is the narrowest part of my leg. Which isn't my knees - it's my thighs. (or midi style).

If a shop now lets you try on dresses can you take someone with you to the changing room?

I would hate having any botox or fillers, IMO it's a slippery slope, the thought of not having my own face looking back at me in the mirror is horrifying! Once you start how long would you have to carry on ? You see very old people on the telly with weird mask like faces, that must have cost a fortune, the plastic surgeons just get richer creating Frankensteins; they certainly don't look younger just inhuman. IMO we should be proud to look our age.

There's lots to avoid wearing here! If converse are to be avoided what shoes should we wear?

I’m not getting the association of Breton tops with “frump”. They’ve been a staple classic ever since Chanel took them to the catwalk. There’s a reason for them being so ubiquitous on women of all ages, they’re pleasing to the eye and easy to wear.

It’s interesting to see Esme Young (Sewing Bee) mentioned as an example of a good look by a couple of people when she commits so many of the style “crimes” cited here. She wears loads of pattern, lots of chunky jewellery, always flat shoes, grey hair, etc. Personally I think she looks wonderful. She quite clearly doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks and that’s truly stylish in my book.

This is chic:

the camel coat/jacket, posh bag, big sunglasses brigade,

@candilemon

This is chic:

the camel coat/jacket, posh bag, big sunglasses brigade,

No, it’s predictable, boring and unimaginative.

I don't think you need botox or fillers at all. My mum is 50 and looks really good for her age. Main things are:
-Very slim. Not gym-obsessed, just eats healthily and does yoga/dance
-No grey hair, dyes it regularly
-Makes her own clothes. Lots of well-fitting smart dresses, tops, skirts and jackets. No stripy breton tops or skinny jeans and definitely no supermarket clothes. Shops in Jigsaw or Hobbs.
-Nice heels or boots

Bloody Hell- Esme Young's look is exactly what I would want to avoid looking like in my old age!

Hi just reading lots of good advice in here - I too suffer from middle age dowdiness - I am a decade older than you OP - your figure is great btw. I have a MUCH bigger tummy and far more saggy bits. Also I am quite jowly in the face now thanks to genetics and my dear old dad. I am doing facial exercises and it does takes a while (a few weeks so don't give up) but I can finally look in the mirror again without crying! I would love to find out how much microbladed eyebrows cost - does anyone know (sorry I haven't read the whole thread)

@ppeatfruit I'm 35 and have Botox twice a year. My mother has a little filler around the drooping corners of her mouth about yearly. She def doesn't look mask like. People with the heavy touch stuff give it all a bad name. Amanda holden looks terrible with her fillers and Botox but Tess Daley for example looks great because it's subtle

My smartest clothes tip: take a day-trip to an affluent town or suburb, and hit the charity shops. I have bought all my best clothes from charity shops stocked by wealthier women. Thank you, ladies who pass on your posh-label clothes while they're still nearly new!

@FreakStar

Bloody Hell- Esme Young's look is exactly what I would want to avoid looking like in my old age!

Good thing we’re all different, isn’t it?

Alsohuman

candilemon
This is chic:

the camel coat/jacket, posh bag, big sunglasses brigade,
No, it’s predictable, boring and unimaginative.

Not at all! How can you not appreciate that? It’s basically French style which always looks attractive and classy. Even 18 year olds look great in camel and soooooo many of them wear it.

I don't know Esme but will look her up. I see lots of people are mentioning blazers but I haven't seen them in ages.. Or is it oversized ones, which look all wrong on me..

Perfect.

Not at all! How can you not appreciate that? It’s basically French style which always looks attractive and classy. Even 18 year olds look great in camel and soooooo many of them wear it

Style is so personal though. I hate neutral colours and think it's so ubiquitous, the camel coat and khaki top with a black bag and jeans. Boring. Everything in my wardrobe is a bright colour or print. I'm sure people think I look like a kid's TV presenter/art teacher, but I like it, and we should dress to make ourselves feel happy and confident - not for other people's approval. I would feel so depressed in a camel or khaki item.

I would love some suggestions for long hair when putting it up, other than my scraped back bun or pony.

Im 43.
I can't afford fillers & Botox so that's out the window, so are really expensive clothes.
Heels just don't fit in with my lifestyle.

But although I'm a bit too fat at present I don't feel as frumpy as I was in my 30s!!
I was very fat then, I was very ill, my hair fell out & I just looked awful.

I can afford to get my hair highlighted regularly (once the hairdresser is open again), I've managed to grow it which suits me better & the blonde brightens up my skin tone.
I'm dieting again & exercising with weights.
(OP you have no need to worry but I do as I'm 4 inches shorter & 3 stone heavier than you!).

I like to look in fashion magazines, online & at women in the street to find styles, trends & clothes I like.
In my head I'm still young, so I dress how I like as life's too short.

Re Esme Young - I think she was probably a punk and quite a stylish rebel in her day - I agree I think she doesn't give a sh.t what others think of her! She did show a photo of her younger self once - biker chic!

I'm aspiring to look more like Julie Walters at 70- chic, not trying to look younger than I am, wearing clothes cut to hide lumps and bumps and in colours that suit my complexion. www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.alamy.com%2Fenglish-actress-julie-walters-attends-the-burberry-festive-film-premiere-at-burberry-regent-street-in-london-on-november-3-2015-photo-by-paul-treadway-upi-image257805179.html&psig=AOvVaw1IpTgPHjvOFTqMdDhne4hH&ust=1592569955574000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKjdlMqvi-oCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAb

@thistimeofyear my sister had her eyebrows micro blades by a good technician, I believe it cost at least £250 maybe more. it was pretty painful but looks realistic.
Always check out pics of the beauticians work & reviews etc