What's it like to be beautiful?

[mclover]

Just that really. Idly looking through some online gossip pages (I know) and seen a pic of David Beckham for example, and Helena Christensen. What's it like to go through life being very attractive? Any beauties out there want to share?

@JMAngel1 I chat to everyone though, and don't judge on appearances. My friends are SEN mums, so that is our bond. I consider them all to be beautiful, we don't judge each other on a superficial level. I've had most problems with school run mums and those in the workplace.

Chop off your hair.
Like Sinead O'Connor? Shaved head, still beautiful.

Go around in dungarees and Birkinstocks. Or just pull your hair back, wear boring clothes and don't bother with make up.
That is mostly how I look, if you swap Birkenstocks for steel toe capped boots and dungarees for jeans. It doesnt make a difference if you are beautiful.

This is a great post. I'm not beautiful but can scrub up well. I think in my younger years being small framed and slim helped and when going out I would often get attention from men. I always felt a lot more confident after getting ready for a night out, confidence I would never of had day to day in 'normal' clothes/make up. I'm pretty average looking and have always been insecure about it, I have been called ugly on more than one occasion so I must admit I enjoyed the attention.
I feel quite intimidated when in the company of someone beautiful but would never be nasty, I just feel a bit inferior.
I have a beautiful niece and an equally beautiful nephew. Both head turners and lovely people with it. Have to admit I chuckle if my niece farts or trips over something. Just reminds me that beautiful people are just like everyone else!

Of course, Dutch courage was always helpful!

One of the most painful co sequences for me is the loneliness. I like someone romantically who thinks I'm not attracted to him really and that I'm just going to hurt him because I could easily get someone else. The only men with the guts to go after me tend to be absolute dicks, looking for someone to have on their arm to show off. The type that judges based on looks alone. I want someone with more depth, but I'm always disappointed. I spent 14 years with my ex, had children with him, and he admitted he liked telling everyone that I was his wife, that I belonged to him but he never really loved me.
I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.

why don't you just tell said person @confusedmaybe?

why don't you just tell said person @confusedmaybe?

That's more or less what I had to do. Just do it. What do you have to lose?

I'm happily married now.

In my 20s I had a group of female friends who were all stunning. I’ve always been regarded as either a minger or ‘cosy’. As the hanger-on in the group of beauties I got to witness a lot of the pros and cons of being gorgeous. One or two of those friends had some difficult relationships with men who merely wanted ‘arm candy’ and they were actually quite insecure as a result. Mind you, being invisible is a mixed blessing. Yes, in my teens I was barked at rather than whistled at and random men seemed to think they had every right to inform me how unshaggable I was; but simply being looked ‘through’ rather than looked at can also be lonely. I’ve had just as much hostility from both women and men in spite of offering neither threat nor enticement. I never felt I had any choice in relationships which led me to ‘learn to love’ rather than fall in love (the latter just hurt too much as I always knew I could do nothing about it). Now I regret the things I’ve missed because of not making the attractiveness grade.

My DH excepted, as I feel we are equals. I've always felt that I had the upper hand in relationships. They have always been on my terms. I've never been just "arm candy".

I was extremely attractive as a youngster. It made me a magnet for a lot of vile unwanted male attention, and a lot of hideous treatment by women. The treatment by women had a serious impact on my life growing up, and made me very defensive. As a result, I've had a lot of unpicking and relearning to do. Now as a (very average) middle age mum, I'm frankly very glad I don't have the same attention, although I appreciate that it did open a lot of doors and gave me opportunities I might not have had otherwise (as tragic as that is!).

@JMAngel1

I was out last night with my husband and this woman kept giving me filthy looks and all because her husband smiled at me ... I ignored him because I had a good idea she wouldn't like it.

I didn't think I was beautiful, still don't really. But as a teenager my mum hated the looks I got from men. I suffered from major anxiety because people used to stare at me. I felt like I was in the Truman show and everyone was just watching me. I hardly ever had female friends and just became the kind of girl who had a boyfriend and hung out with him and his friends. Now as an adult. Married with kids, I'm disliked by my mother in law, sister in laws and don't feel much warmth from other women to be honest. I try to be friendly but I'm also quite shy due to anxiety as well...

mrspeanutbutter. I think women can't understand that a beautiful woman can be shy and it just comes off as being up themselves - it's a tricky combo and I have one friend who is like this and I always champion her to others and explain that she is really shy but no one believes me. I've advised her to just smile at people when she feels like running away and I actually got a text from her thjs week, saying that finally one of the other mums spoke to her.

It can be tricky though. I've tried just smiling at people and ignoring my anxiety, but have been bitched about by those same women. To find out only after I'd made myself vulnerable.
At university I was befriended by other beautiful women. There was a group of four of us, but it was very boring and centred around getting free entry into clubs etc. My best friend was a gay guy. I've now finally learned, though still get it wrong, to spot the genuine decent people. I just need to find a decent and honest man, much harder to find

Absolutely everyone tells me I look like Margot robbie.(some days multiple ransoms will stop me in the street, even stopping their cars in traffic to talk to me) It's a pain in the arse and attracts a lot of attention that I dont want from both men and women.

It all seems to even out with age . I was beautiful when younger and very intelligent, both helped me in an otherwise difficult teenagehood, very poor, no opportunities otherwise. Both arguably granted at birth. Worked very hard on I telligence so got great qualifications and a way out of generational poverty. Ignored the looks thing until mid 30s, then lost weight, dressed better etc. Ended up with complete losser men. Now I'm 50 and average looking as I focus on health not grooming.It is proven time and time again that being born good looking, intelligent and tall increase life chances. Anyone who relies on that alone though or feels special because if it will get a cruel shock though.

It can be quite embarrassing. A guy literally hung out of his car window to gape at me recently. Then there's the honking. I love to dress up and make an effort but I can't do it without attracting mega attention. I'd give anything to list walk into somewhere without being noticed. I think everyone assumes massive confidence inside and out and it really isn't the case.

Women stare at you, look you up and down and/or give you dirty looks. Exclude you from their cliques. Talk about you behind your back. Back stab. Discuss your appearance with other women. Get protective of their partners when you're around. Other beautiful women are nice to you and become good friends.

Men smile at you, wink at you, stare at you, compliment you, wolf whistle, some get flustered and blush.

Other women see you as a threat and also make a play for your man.

TBH women are the main negative for me.
Men and their idiot cat calls are nothing compared to jealous women.

@Schwibble that's so true. There's always somethings that's "too much".

I would say I’m quite pretty, I have lovely hair which helps and pretty slim. Even this morning at swimming lessons, hair in a bun, no make up I got a double takes from men.

It took me a long time to realise it as I have very low self-esteem thanks to a narc mother who never said anything nice about me. I remember she found one of my bras when I was about 15, refused to believe it was mine (it was maybe a C or D) cup, then when I eventually proved it was mine and it did fit then told me I would have big saggy boobs like my Italian Gran! Every time she saw me she would tell me I was getting fatter. Or I had spots or something.

It wasn’t until probably mid to late 20s I blossomed and realised the stares and double takes from me and the jealous looks from women. The thing is I’m not a flirty person I hate letchy men and have only ever had eyes for my DH.

Now in my 40s with make up on I look 10 years younger but the irony is although I look well on the outside I live with a chronic pain condition and actually feel terrible.

Women scrutinise for flaws in your appearance or personality and discuss them with you or other women.

Women think you are flirting with men, even if you are not, and just sitting or standing chatting, e.g. to a male work colleague.

It's interesting. I am in my thirties now, and I was really good looking when I was younger. My looks have faded now, and I have been a bit sad about the lack of male attention. It was there, lots of it, and then it just went.

Then this week. A man recently came up to me and asked for my number, that hasn't actually happened in a long while. And I had a flashback. It instantly reminded me of how I HATED lots of men coming up to me when I was young, that I hated the harrassment and the attention, and that I felt like a sexual object.

The men that approached me when I was younger always seemed really sleazy. They never seemed interested in me for me:

So I think:
hated the harrassment from men when I was younger.
But now, I am also a bit sad that it has stopped.

It is hard to get a happy medium!

@Schwibble that is so true about women thinking that you are flirting, when you are not.
I remember that I would barely be able to say hello to someone's boyfriend on a night out, before she would be glaring at me with ferociousness.

So what does all this teach us as women - will we always be nasty to good looking women forever more? How, as women can we become more supportive of each other

Are men like this to good looking men?