What's it like to be beautiful?

[mclover]

Just that really. Idly looking through some online gossip pages (I know) and seen a pic of David Beckham for example, and Helena Christensen. What's it like to go through life being very attractive? Any beauties out there want to share?

Like I said some people have told me I'm beautiful. I find people (men & women) in general are nice to me but I'm a positive & generally happy person too. If I thought someone didn't like me I just wouldn't necessarily think it's because it's the way I look, maybe they think i'm overconfident or not as funny as I think, etc but then I've never written someone off based on the way they look either.

I am (so I've been told) quite conventionally attractive and have to say I've always found it quite hard in social scenarios as I am never sure if people are speaking to me or the glamorous image they have of me although I am a leader and can put myself out there.. In reality I am clumsy, low self esteem and am introverted at times. My son is almost identical to me.

My daughter on the other hand is absolutely beautiful in a conventional sense but quite introverted and shy and rarely puts herself
Out there. So she isn't in the gang.

This makes me wonder if it's less about looks and more about having that charisma that marks people out and that if someone is charismatic they are perceived to be more attractive?

You do KNOW when you are beautiful or not, though.
You know when you are fat
You know when you are thin
You know when you look good.
You know when you look bad.

I know, in my school, I was in the top five good looking girls.
I know, in my college, there were many beautiful girls, I was beautiful, but not unusual.
I know in my early twenties - that I was beautiful, men approached me everywhere. I know that I looked really good.

I know that in my thirties now - that I am very average, and many other women in the room are better looking than me, when Ingo out.

We KNOW when we are attractive, but society has told us that we are not allowed to say it, that it is a shameful thing to say.

I remember when I was 21, and I was dating a guy. He said "you are beautiful", and I said " thank you". He said "you know it though", and I said "yes I think so", and he said "it is better if you don't know it".

So to be a perfect woman, you have to be beautiful, and also deny that you are beautiful.

Well, f#ck that, I am going to be beautiful and say that I am beautiful, when I feel that I am

I hate it when people pretend to not know they're beautiful. It's like they need you to keep saying g it to them. Like they have to keep hearing it.

Nothing wrong with being confident in your looks & more women should be. Confidence is attractive but arrogance isn't in either sex.

Personally I think if your actually beautiful your remain beautiful. Yes you may not look as young or pretty but I think beautiful is different & has a certain elegance.

Christy Turlington, Michelle Pfeiffer & Monica Bellucci are still very beautiful & will likely remain so.

I've also noticed that beauty is somehow acceptable when you're young. But people expect you to fall apart as you age, and they hate you mor fo still being kind of beautiful in your middle age. I'm in my 50s and have had comments made about how I'm getting old now, catty comments. My 10 year old daughter was asked how I "still manage to look the same" by a teacher at her school, so inappropriate.

I get a lot of hate from women in their 30s and above

I think it's because women used to look elderly at my age, but these days women in their 50s are vibrant.

I'm the wrong side of mid 30s & don't feel any less beautiful than I did at 18 or 25. Yes I'm not as slim & have some wrinkles but I still get lots of compliments. Maybe I'm deluded though as my model agent said my face would peak at 28/29 🤣

Reading through this thread, I remembered a situation a few years ago. New girl joined DD’s school halfway through junior school. The mother an absolute stunning beauty, naturally beautiful and well presented as well, gracious, highly intelligent, impressive job the full perfect package. Of course on first look you’d only notice her beauty.
She really tried to get involved with the school and make new friends as they were new to the area.
It was really shocking and sad to see, first hand, that all other mums were incredibly frosty to her. And she was very much aware of this treatment. There have been other parents joining halfway through school and they were easily included in the existing social dynamic. Since then, and throughout senior school, apart from me, nobody would actually took the trouble to engage with her despite my best discreet efforts to include her in group conversations. Always the sideways up and down looks (the up and down look is my pet hate in women and men). And this coming from women I know and trust and like and most of them are actually very attractive? She is a perfectly normal person, well accomplished in her own right, wonderful mother and happily married, it’s not like she goes around hooking men on a fishing pole. And she is not at all arrogant. I suspect she had this treatment all her life.
Human nature!

I was a weird, bookish kid and was used to being ostracized. So I always found the other ostracized people and hung out with them. I've only really been treated with jealousy by two women. Most of my experience of working with women has been positive and I have made great friends along the way.

I am fine with my own company and mostly oblivious, so it's possible I just havent noticed some of the meanness.

I think it probably shapes your life massively.

I have a very beautiful 12yo daughter. She's very striking and almost always when people meet her for the first time they tell me/her how beautiful she is. She's had this her whole life:

Because of this she is very into how she looks, she wants to be a model and she comments a lot on how others look too. It makes me sad.

She's also really intelligent, sporty, a fabulous dance and a really lovely, funny, kind human being. But that's not what people comment on!

I don’t know, brightonroc, I think it’s down to the times we live in and personality. I grew up in the 70’s, constantly told I was beautiful and would “break hearts one day”, but didn’t have much confidence. People would tell me I should model and I’d just say I was too short. But girls then were not all doing their eyebrows, ironing their hair, and having professional manicures, somehow girls have been convinced that their appearance is fascinating and “grooming” and presentation is vitally important.

Yeah, maybe. But I keep her away from all that as much as possible. No social media etc and I'm a pretty make up and image disinterested human.

I have a very beautiful son. My friends stop me in the high street/ supermarket/ every where to tell me all the time. He could be a model. But he’s not interested. He just wants to hang out with his mates at uni and do tech stuff. He has no issues. On the other hand my niece is also very beautiful and done lots of modelling and combined it with uni but has left to take a year out as she was being bullied by the girls in her uni flat and she just couldn’t take their mean unkind behaviour anymore.

When I was 20s I was thought to be very attractive.. most fancied in our year book, lots of supposedly besotted lads, flowers and stuff delivered, loads of lovely attention etc. I was Definately Not Beautiful, I had a bit of acne, dodgey teeth, but was quite pretty, good figure and hair but mainly I think it's was because I was cheerful, kind and good natured, and a laugh to be with. I was described as Ray of sunshine. I know it sounds a bit vain, but I was definately in demand as good company from both girls and boys. Now I am older, I have got a bit weary, few tough things happened and I am a bit miserable and grumpy. Looks, such as they were, have faded and sagged. It's like my light has gone out. I really really miss being a person that people gravitate towards and I have much less affection for myself too. It made life exciting and glamorous and easy. Not what you asked but that sense of both inner and outer beauty being burnt out is pretty miserable. I am chasing it on the outside with tweaks and fiddles but its not going too well. I think actually it's more about inside than out. I don't know really. Interesting. But I can see why ther are slebs who make a mess of themselves in desperation as they struggle with their changing identity, loss of "pull" etc as they start to age. Very hard.

What an interesting thread! I'm not beautiful but I am quite unusual looking which has had a big impact on my life and confidence. I would say I'm definitely some people's 'type' and other people wouldn't be caught dead with someone who looked like me, so it's almost like I've been ugly and beautiful at the same time.

I've different coloured eyes (one green and one blue) red hair, I'm 5'9 and a size 8. I actually got told o looked like an alien once. In a good way. Apparently!

Women aren’t very nice to you & men make inappropriate remarks to your dh. Dh has asked more than one man if he’d like a photo of me because their staring. Other women’s dhs like to try it on.

Luckily at 42 if I stand next to 25yo dn I am rendered invisible 😁

Greener, I agree with every word

Sorry, I meant Greeper, not Greener

I've noticed that other women,just because they view you as being beautiful, will pick on any fault they can drum up. As if you have to be instagram perfect. It's just awful. Yet if I mention any little insecurity I have, I'm met with eye rolling, and not in a reassuring "don't be silly" way but a nasty bitchy look usually with a snarl. Once was told to "just fuck off". It would be nice to just walk along without stares and nasty looks.