What's it like to be beautiful?

[mclover]

Just that really. Idly looking through some online gossip pages (I know) and seen a pic of David Beckham for example, and Helena Christensen. What's it like to go through life being very attractive? Any beauties out there want to share?

IcedPurple if only women WERE only bitchy to unpleasant people!

Talking about trouble from other women, I have found that people are more willing to believe nasty rumours about me. One woman, that I used to be friends with ( or so I thought) suddenly exploded at me one day without warning "stop being so nasty" so that everyone would hear. She then went on to spread rumours about me that I was a stuck up bitch, and I don't know what else. People believed her even though it wasn't true.

I find that other women think I've made a massive effort with my appearance, even though all I've actually done is defrizz my hair and get dressed. That is all it takes. Today I wore a dress and boots, I went on the school run and the tuts and stares, looking me up and down was awful.

Why should I walk about looking as though I don't care about my appearance? I need to get dressed, I have to look presentable in my world. Such ridiculous comments

My best friend growing up was a stunner - tall, slim, beautiful natural blonde hair. I used to feel so jealous of the way men gravitated towards her. A guy once came running out of a club and halfway down the street to ask for her number while I stood there like chopped liver

I used to wish I could be that beautiful, I thought life would be so simple. But as we’ve grown up together i’ve seen that it isn’t. I’m glad I can properly value her now for the lovely person she is without jealousy ruining it. She’s still bloody gorgeous but that doesn’t seem so much of a big deal when you’re not in your 20s and going out!

Elllllle

^^

I'll bite.

What's the point in ANY thread? Seriously? Why pick this one? Threads on S&B are notoriously picked out for being useless, pointless etc. Why?

I think a lot of it is about perception. I know plenty of ordinary looking people who think they're real beauties (and good on 'em I say!).

I am another one who can vouch for weight making a big difference. I've just lost a shed load and I'm suddenly getting a lot of compliments from women and an usual level of attentiveness/friendliness from men that I definitely didn't get whilst I was fat. It might not be down to being better looking when I'm thinner, but that is certainly my perception.

In light of @MakeItFappy's confession of being compared with a ginger Eva Green (who is beautiful btw!) Can I ask some of the people who say they're very beautiful, if there is a celebrity you think you look like or have been told you look like?

Monica Bellucci and Drew Barrymore (they look totally different right?) are both actresses I've been told I look like. Weirdly, I can kind of see a very slight resemblance with them both, but don't think either are obvious lookalikes.

For me, I started to realise that people perceive me as beautiful when I had grown out of my goth and punk phase and started to dress more normal. If had to compare myself to someone, it would probably be a slimmer and slightly shorter Christina Hendricks.

I am quite confident and that is often enough to scare anyone who is tempted to make any inappropriate comments, because they know I will call them out on it. I do find women are more likely to dislike me than men but I don't think that has anything to do with my looks. It is mostly that I cannot be bothered with small talk and unnecessary chit chat, so often come across as a little harsh - that seems to put off women more than men, for whatever reason (incl. bisexual women, so no, that is not it ). It changes once we get to know each other better but, obviously, that does not always happen. Basically, I don't need much social interaction to be happy, there is plenty of social interaction available, so I will choose the ones I enjoy.

I do get free drinks and highly unprobable wins at the casino to keep me at the table, but also unwanted attention, etc. I once spent a holiday on Ibiza 90% in my hotel room because friends had booked us into a drink-happy hotel and I constantly got harrassed. I also had a waitress refuse service until I told her what I did to my hair and she didn't believe me that I just wash and condition it - apparently it is too silky...

Something I noticed in the last 2 years, after getting my PhD, is that as soon as people find out about it, both men and women seem to become a little insecure by that combination. I mean, I am not exactly running around waving the degree in people's faces, but if it comes up in conversation ("Why did you live in X?" etc), there is often that uncomfortable silence and something passing over people's faces, which I cannot quite place. Could be insecurity, could be jealousy, could be "what a show-off" - I honestly don't know.
While I was working on it, guys would ask me the usual "So what do you do?" while flirting heavily and "Oh, I am a PhD student, up at X" was often met with something like "Oh, so you're a smart chick" and them just walking away. Apparently, this is enough of a turn-off to balance things out.

Or just pull your hair back, wear boring clothes and don't bother with make up

None of those things, individually or together are guaranteed to work.

Pulling your hair back can actually have the opposite effect.

I'm wondering what qualifies as 'boring clothes'. I think anyone could think all my clothes are boring. I just make a very good hanger for clothes. Hair pulled back accentuates my cheekbones and takes a decade off me, but means I don't have a mane of hair to hide behind when I'm being stared at. And I really don't wear much make up at all, I like to look like me. I usually wear birkies in the summer, as do a lot of women, and DMs in the winter. I don't know what the PP is getting at really, apart from that harassment is deserved because of what I look like...

I don't know either. My SIL once commented that I would still look stunning dressed in a bin bag.

It can be difficult for beautiful women, especially if they are really nice as well as good looking. I've noticed that very often men like to bring them down, spoil their confidence. I don't know why, maybe they are insecure.

One of my friends is actually stunning, the spitting image of Karen from mean girls but better (slimmer face, smiley, friendly/approachable personality). We lived together and even when she had the flu, she still looked beautiful???

She didn’t wear makeup and and would scrape her hair back. She dressed like your average student - jeans, hoodies, dressing gown, leggings, t shirts, even unbranded Birkenstock’s. All of her clothes were from primark or Asda and she rarely bought new things as she was just a perpetually poor student.

She literally made barely any effort with her appearance but would get lots of attention regardless. Doing any of the “unattractive” stuff mentioned above wouldn’t have stopped her from being beautiful and getting attention, she’d have to never left the house to achieve that.

I am beautiful.

I come from a beautiful family. It certainly has made life easier and more interesting.

It is good to be able walk into a room and make heads turn however beautiful women seem to have their hearts broken more often than their plainer sisters.

An elderly lady stopped me in Tesco's and told me she liked my outfit. I was wearing a choral coat from oasis and dune shoes also in choral. My dress was from phase eight and was coral and white. I liked her compliment more than any I have received from men - because always have an agenda when they give me a compliment.

because men

Beautiful people have ‘pretty privilege’ on their side. Once I rear ended the car in front, it was completely my fault. This was my first accident and even though it was minor I was really scared.

The other car was a recent Mercedes s class, so I thought this was going to be expensive to sort & they would be fuming. The other driver got out, I profusely apologised, he checked the damage but was weirdly very calm. He just said that these things happen and not to worry about insurance. He then said that I was beautiful and asked to take me out to dinner!

Obviously I declined and I gave him my insurance details anyway, but he never put in a claim against me. I literally damaged his car but once he saw me, he couldn’t care less.

@IcedPurple you said ,"if people don't want to be beautiful - just change it".

But I wanted to be myself. I wanted to be beautiful. I just would like to be beautiful without abuse from other women. No one likes to be abused do they?

So my answer is - I want to be beautiful, but I don't want to be hurt by jealous people because of it

Interesting that being beautiful is not so awful that people have surgery to change it so that they aren’t so attractive.

But people who feel ugly and wish to be beautiful do. No judgement at all, it’s just interesting.

I don't think anyone has said its awful, just that it can come with it's own set of problems.

Honestly, even when I run to the pharmacy, with a severe flu, in baggy clothes and without having showered in days, I still get catcalled. I also never look properly ill, which means people sometimes thought I was faking it. My nose might get a little red and I sweat more, but that seemingly only gives me 'a lovely, healthy glow' (e.g. MIL's words...). Just means I now get a GP note for every little thing that takes me out for a couple of days to recover guilt-free.

I'm not sure catcalling has anything to do with how beautiful you are.

What I find a bit weird about some posts on this thread is that whilst people can be universally attractive I think beautiful is quite subjective. I think Angelina Jolie is incredibly beautiful, others don't. Lots of people think Kate Middleton is beautiful, I don't at all.

I have done modelling in the past & some people think i'm gorgeous, others think i'm average. Many of my friends are very attractive being models & there isn't any jealously or big egos although I think modelling humbles you!
Imo the people who are "bullied" for their looks or are hated by others are very much of the Samantha Brick variety. I would never judge or dismiss another person on their good looks but if they had a very high opinion of themselves I would.

But I wanted to be myself. I wanted to be beautiful. I just would like to be beautiful without abuse from other women. No one likes to be abused do they?

Well no but we've only got your perspective on the story here.

It's entirely possible that these women who are supposedly 'abusing' you because they're eaten up with jealousy over your breathtaking beauty would have a different story to tell. But they aren't here, so we can't ask them.

Well now you know what it's like OP.
There are women (and a few men) who think we make ourselves beautiful just to get harassed by lecherous men and hated by some insecure women. We must never complain, because we brought it on ourselves by existing and by chance conforming to some modern day standard of "beauty".
I've decided to enjoy my "pretty privilege", and I'm glad I no longer feel guilty for being the beautiful sister, the beautiful daughter, the beautiful friend etc. I'll stop caring that I didn't earn it. Instead I'll behave as men do that know they're handsome, and use it for everything I can get. I'll challenge that double standard.

I'm not beautiful but can look striking. If I make major effort, I do get stared at, told I look like, insert random celebrity, flirted with. The interesting thing I've noted is that good looking women are nice to me when I look good but I get dubious looks from more average looking women, definitely no friendly camaraderie vibes.
Then the converse is true when I don't make an effirt. Men and good looking women ignore me, are almost rude but average looking women are very friendly, make smalk talk etc.
For the record, I stay the same personality wise regardless of what I look like. It's depressing that looks impact so much on social interaction, but I'm afraid they do.