What's it like to be beautiful?

[mclover]

Just that really. Idly looking through some online gossip pages (I know) and seen a pic of David Beckham for example, and Helena Christensen. What's it like to go through life being very attractive? Any beauties out there want to share?

Hoppinggreen I see what you mean.

Sorry. Me being over sensitive.

In the context of this thread, perhaps an insensitive choice of user name when I NC'd too.

My best friend at school was absolutely stunning. Gorgeous facial features and colouring; everybody noticed her looks.

On balance I think it's been a great advantage to her. She's been offered jobs based purely on her looks (not that she was unable to do the work, but the interviewers weren't even interested in finding that out before she started). Lots of freebies, lots of help offered, being able to blag her way anywhere, etc. And of course she had her pick of men; I don't think there's been anyone she wanted that she couldn't get.

There's also a downside. Some women (not all) would take an instant dislike to her and try to do her down. Men could be very predatory. She was sexually assaulted several times by the time she was 16. Obviously none of this is stuff that only happens to the beautiful, but I think her looks were a big factor.

She also has a good brain, a fabulous, magnetic personality and a lot of drive. We are getting older and of course everybody's looks fade, but I don't think that will be hard for her in the same way as it would be for someone who only had their looks.

People are unkind to people who stand out. If you're very attractive or very unattractive by conventional standards, you will get picked on.

I didn't realise it at the time, but I was bloody good looking when I was young. I was also that kid who is good at everything at school. In a sink comprehensive... not hard to imagine what happened.

I'm still good at stuff but I'm a slightly overweight middle aged woman in a professional environment. Much happier!

One issue my DD has is that she has a lot of male friends (she’s 14) and quite often one of them will ask her out.

I had that & whilst it did make me pull a way a bit from being close with boys all my boyfriends started as friends as did my husband.

NC for this one It feels an awkward topic to discuss as it feels like it's bigging yourself up.

I can't deny it's flattering when you turn heads in restaurants/on the street/out and about. I am also tall and slim and I have a good figure but I've never shown off cleavage, bum and legs. Being completely honest, I don't feel I need to put those areas on display because of my face and being tall and slim, and in fact I would usually cover up those areas more because it would almost be too much altogether along with the face and the height and being slim. Also, being honest, I don't mind being viewed as beautiful for my face and having an attractive overall slim shape but I don't like putting breasts and bum on display as I'm actually quite shy body-wise.

I'm getting a bit older now, but I am still happy with my face and I've kept my figure despite several kids. I am grateful that I don't feel in competition with or threatened by younger or other pretty women as I'm happy with what I have. I'm honestly grateful (in a real sense not a fake-virtuous or stealth boast sense) that I've never had to feel jealous of someone else's looks. I definitely admire other women's looks though but again I am aware that I can afford to admire rather than feel jealous because I have my own looks and I know I would feel different if I didn't. I don't take that comfortable position of not having to feel jealous for granted. I absolutely do not walk around with a "look at me" attitude or looking or acting like I think I'm all that or go about "making an entrance" or drawing attention to myself by being loud or pouty or precious. People do/did look at me and do double takes etc, I've been stopped on streets, passed numbers, offered drinks, chatted up even when my boyfriends have been standing next to me (!) but I would be just going about my normal business. People treat me nicely, I've always done well in interviews, I've never struggled for a date or boyfriends or attention on a night out. I like to think I'm a nice person. I am friendly to everyone, I don't care what people have or haven't got and I treat everyone the same. I genuinely don't know how to treat people differently IYSWIM and I am genuinely puzzled by people who can be so nice to some people and so horrible to others. I can't do that.

Downsides include some women being bitchy or taking an instant dislike before they've spoken to me, men at work not taking me seriously (although I think that's on the individual men being pathetic and childish as I have seen the same men also not take plain/ugly women seriously either, or those same men sometimes make pets of the plain women like they are doing them a favour to be showing them some (false and two-faced judging by the chat I overhear in the office kitchen and corridors) attention.

Although I'm getting older, I've had a good run of beauty so when the youthful flush completely fades, I'm aware enough to appreciate that I have thoroughly enjoyed it and its benefit whilst it lasted. However as my looks fade I'll probably move on to maintaining my figure all the more (if I can be arsed ) and looking attractive though good health and taking care of myself. I've observed some people rate being very slim in the same kind of bracket as beauty. I guess being naturally beautiful and very slim are hard to have/do, rather than commonly found, so maybe that's why it stands out.

SwanCake I think you hit the nail on the head. I agree, most beautiful (expand this to naturally attractive or women who are confident in their own beauty) tend not to be jealous of other women, not even of younger women. And not in a big headed way, they simply don’t have it in them. I’m sure there a exceptions like the step mother in Snow White. However, beautiful women always, always are disliked by a lot of other women simply based on their appearance, no matter how nice they might be as a person.

I am starting to think I might still be a little attractive because today I took delivery of my new car and the man who delivered it asked my if I would like to be filmed for an advert about using their company. I laughed and said "I think I might be a little too old to do that" and he said that I wasn't. I can't wait to tell hubby when he gets home because he does take me for granted and says I am ok for an older woman.

asked me

Here goes, although it feels showy offy. As well as being "beautiful" I guess, I am also very tall and slim. However I have counteracted it my whole life by always dressing down. I literally only ever wear jeans and boots except for special occasions. I also dont do my hair or nails or wear any accessories or jewellery.

From a young age I realised it was easy to get male attention and that people generally showed goodwill towards me. However, because I also have a pretty "sparky" or outgoing personality, I also realised that people who were actually "plainer" than me, but also not as intelligent (sorry, but its true), were being taken more seriously.

It's like they saw a pretty chatty girl, and thought I must inevitably be shallower or more frivolous than someone less attractive.

I guess subconsciously I must have decided to dress down to give myself a bit of gravitas.

I feel good about myself this way. I feel beautiful but also humble in the way I present myself to the world, and that's how I like it.

On both this thread and the ‘What’s it like to be ugly’ thread being tall is seen as beautiful and being short is not.

I’m sure though that when I was growing up, although being tall was seen as an advantage, there were also people commenting on the beauty of women who were short! When did this view change?

I don't think tall is synonymous with beauty, but being taller than average inevitably makes you more visible.

I don’t think there has been derogatory comments towards short people on either thread.

The odd few posts on the other thread refer to being “short and fat” - I think being overweight when you’re short makes you look shorter if that makes sense? Other than that, there wasn’t really much mention of height? There are many shorter women who would be considered conventionally beautiful

I'm attractive. As a child it was uncomfortable, often wolf-whistled at when I was 12yrs old. I used to get really scared when walking to the shops on my own and walking past a building site and have men jeering at me. Yuck.

As a young adult I found it difficult to make female friends both socially and at work. But I have lots of lovely mum friends now.

I guess some people would call me a trophy wife, I married a wealthy older man.

Life has been generally alright for me!

Taller would draw attention more because it stands out. I don’t think there’s a preference for either in terms of what should be beautiful. Regardless of height, the slimmer figure has some advantage because clothes drape differently and it’s easier to emphasise the body key parts.
I don’t think short(er) is considered less attractive at all. Or that tall(er) is considered more attractive.

When I said ‘stands out’ I meant it’s more visible in a mass of people not in any negative way.

TheITCloud - I don't think height is relative to beauty. Tall or short doesn't mean beautiful or not beautiful.

It's just that when you are taller than average you are probably more noticeable (literally speaking). If there's more beauty than average along with the height then it catches the eye/stands out more perhaps, I don't know.

I am not tall and slim but I do have a round face with big eyes which may be the reason I have hardly any wrinkles. As Eamonn Holmes says there are no wrinkles on a balloon.

I just read this

www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/2019100978832/ruth-langsford-eamonn-holmes-celebrate-daughter-in-law-birthday-shard/

Well, I do have tall, willowy beautiful relatives on one side of the family, and short glamorous beautiful relatives on the other.

I am short myself, and have inherited enough good genes to have experienced some moments of ‘what’s it like to be beautiful’. Some of this was nice but it often felt like harassment.

There have also been many times throughout my life when I have been treated as invisible. Also have been told (in every decade of my life) that I am not pretty.

I do find it all rather odd and am glad to have gone into a profession where kindness and intellect are important.

I honestly dont mean to be rude but I dont understand the point of this thread? I havent read the whole thing as I find it boring but so many ppl have commented that I feel like I'm missing something?

I think people are right that so much of it is perception. I was a very plain child, thick glasses, bad hair, bad skin, tatty clothes so I grew up thinking I was ugly. In fact at about 17 I got contact lenses, my skin cleared up and I blossomed. Looking back at photos of me between 17 and 40ish I was truly beautiful but I didn’t know it and still felt plain and mousy. I knew some people said I was but I just thought they were deluded.
I used to get a lot of unwelcome male attention but luckily managed to repel most advances. I put that down to a combination of indiscriminate male randiness and my having big boobs (a curse rather than a blessing). Looking back I think it was also because I looked younger than I was so creepy men thought I’d be an easy target. I was never confident or arrogant enough to put male attention down to good looks.
I have never experienced much bitchiness from other women and am generally much happier in the company of other women than men. Now I am I am nearly 60 and my looks have faded. The compliments I get now are more along the lines of ‘you’re looking well’ with the unspoken ‘for your age’ lurking in the background!

I think a lot of how the world treats us comes from our own unconscious projections and expectations. I didn’t project a feeling of being beautiful or an expectation of being treated that way so didn’t get any negative reactions to it. Unlike Samantha Brick who apparently had a very difficult time because of her own perception of her beauty.

When I was 19 I worked at the entertainer. I was serving on the tills with 2 colleagues and our manager.

It was Xmas period so there was a till queue. This man at the front of the queue looked at me and loudly shouted comments like ‘wow! Jesus she is beautiful!’ - he was really loud to the point that everyone in the vicinity was looking at him/me and I felt embarrassed as he was making a scene. My manager gave me the dirtiest look and later reprimanded me.

He then stood to the side as he wanted to specifically be served by me even though I was with a customer and my colleague was free. He ended up being served by the manager but when the customer left, she gave me a lecture about me apparently being “inappropriate”, in front of my colleagues and the other customers. I didn’t do anything wrong? I didn’t even speak to him. She just treated me with such disdain afterwards, but i didn’t tell the man to say or do anything - I had no control of his behaviour. I was dressed in the same uniform as everyone else etc. She was just so nasty because this man complimented me.

In my experience, women aren't generally bitches to beautiful women. Sure a few may be, but they are usually unpleasant people to begin with.

9 times out of 10, again in my experience, if a good-looking woman finds it hard to make female friends, it isn't because she's so heartbreakingly beeoodiful. It's because she isn't a very nice person.

given the choice, I think most of us would choose the hard life of a very beautiful person over the hard life of a very physically unattractive person.

Not to mention that, if you are finding your exceptional beauty to be such an unbearable burden, it's pretty easy to do something about it. Chop off your hair. Wear the most unflattering specs you can find. Go around in dungarees and Birkinstocks. Or just pull your hair back, wear boring clothes and don't bother with make up. Very very few people are so amazingly gorgeous that they can't hide it. That's if they want to, of course.

By contrast, if you're pug ugly, especially if you're very overweight, it's not so easy to do much about it. Lots of people want to be beautiful. Nobody wants to be ugly.