I have nothing I like to wear 😭 .. size 16

[Adollop]

I dislike the way I look, but am struggling to lose weight, I think partly due to menopause and partly due to various health problems.

I have nothing I look good in In winter it's not so bad, I live in leggings and long tops/ jumpers. But in summer I look awful. I can't find tops that don't emphasise my spare tyre , that are long enough to cover my bum, that don't make my 36g chest look matronly ...

I just bought a dress on eBay (where I mostly shop for financial reasons), it's a loose footing hankie hem, I right it would be better than fitted, but it looks awful .

Please, please help me. I feel so down.

I have a few things I like - a short denim skirt and a short black linen skirt, because my legs aren't bad, I like long loose shirts, but am struggling to find ones that cover my bum.

Any ideas appreciated. Links would be great too. I can't get to a personal shopper service and mostly shop online, as all I have nearby is M&S, Debenhams, New Look, Peacocks, bon marche ...

I am mid 50's size 16 and an apple shape. I like jeggings (cropped or long) and tunics. I buy a lot from White Stuff as they tend to be cotton/linen as i hate man made fibres. I do love a slouchy wool jumper in the winter but i see you are not keen on wool. I also love the Next Linen dresses mentioned upthread. It is not easy to find nice stuff but i am always on the look out for bits and pieces.

If you’re an Apple shape you really should stop trying to cover your bum with tops.
Seriously.
Nobody’s looking at your bum, especially in a skirt - the skirt covers your bum. You don’t need the top to too.

I think I'm not trying to cover my bum actually, I'm trying to elongate the way i look, to look slimmer .. Maybe??

I feel despondent, I hate the way I look in the new tops. My favourite top at the moment is the one in the attached photo, worn with leggings. If I could find dresses like that (same neckline) I'd be happy.

Here is some recent bits I've bought which might inspire (or not!) I find Sainsbury's really good for clothes

Camisole
https://www.wallis.co.uk/en/wluk/product/clothing-265973/tall-clothing-8441496/tall-black-button-through-camisole-top-8939877

Drape dress (v flattering on stomach)
https://www.popsyclothing.co.uk/products/zena-zebra-print-dress?pos=1&sid=016bdd4e5&_ss=r

Thanks. I love the top although I don't often wear black tops without a cardi due to having scalp psoriasis and not wanting my shoulders to look like they've been in a snowstorm I like the cut of the dress, although not so much the pattern.

Today I'm back in my trusty Next linen dress. Tbh I'll be glad when it's winter and I can hide in skinny jeans and oversized jumpers again 😭

@Adollop they do that dress in a couple of patterns so worth keeping an eye on and I think they will bring out plain too
I get the black top thing! I've just bought a kimono from next which works really well as it's open and gives a long line effect over vest tops etc

Today I've been to New Look and tried on a soft grey denim shirt dress, I absolutely loved it, but felt the lack of waist made me look fatter I couldn't afford it anyway, but wanted to try that style on for a change.

Soft grey denim, that sounds lovely.

It was, and really soft. Maybe I'll revisit .. going to try to lose a little weight, because I'm really unhappy as I am.

Tunics are the worst clothing item.

I've the same chest and dress size as you. Everything I wear is designed to give me a defined waist shape. I wear a bodyshaper most days to help pull my waist in. Lots of pleated skirts in various colours and fabrics, the top is either men's shirts of tshirts knotted at the waist with trainers or ankle boots, leather jacket, denim jacket etc.

M&S jeggings are comfy, high waisted and flattering. I wear them with tshirts which skim the tops of my thighs so I don't look like I'm swamped or trying to hide my body. A kimono and heels works, or a denim shirt and trainers.

I also wear skater dresses, simple (one colour, no pattern) maxi dresses, a-line midi skirts, flowing maxi skirts with long or short sleeved cropped or knotted tshirts etc.

Don't cover up. Enhance your figure!

I like skater dresses too as they make me look like I have a waist!

I had a JL personal shopper thing this weekend. I think the best item was a wrap dress for my shape (overweight hourglass).

I'd love to have a personal shopper appointment one day

I'm going away for 2 days to visit my mum and look at a house I'm hoping to rent and I've no idea what to wear. I still have nothing I like and it's going to be fairly warm I think. I've been to Primark today, but everything was either in awful colours or in man-made fabrics. Plus it was so hot I couldn't think! Another wasted opportunity.

Could I get away with wide leg black linen trousers, a vest top and an open shirt over? I'd like to knot a blouse over them, but I don't have a suitable blouse, just long linen shirts.

@Adollop the JL personal shopper session I went to was free and honestly, it felt like there was no obligation to buy.

I also told the lovely personal shopper that I was keen to look for sale pieces and she still delivered the goods, so to speak. 👌🏻

OP, have you tried some Spanx type pants to smooth out your middle? I bought a pair from a supermarket that come up to my bra and when I wear them with jeans I feel so much more confident with minimal muffin top.

I'd need to travel quite a distance to a John Lewis so not likely in the near future.

Maggy I always find them really uncomfortable and they roll down plus give me stomachache or rub my skin sore somewhere. Tbh they're probably a size too small but I can't afford to buy new ones at the moment.

Which supermarket did you buy them from?

I think Matalan usually have tops with flattering neck lines that you could wear with wide trousers. Have you tried there?