I have nothing I like to wear 😭 .. size 16

[Adollop]

I dislike the way I look, but am struggling to lose weight, I think partly due to menopause and partly due to various health problems.

I have nothing I look good in In winter it's not so bad, I live in leggings and long tops/ jumpers. But in summer I look awful. I can't find tops that don't emphasise my spare tyre , that are long enough to cover my bum, that don't make my 36g chest look matronly ...

I just bought a dress on eBay (where I mostly shop for financial reasons), it's a loose footing hankie hem, I right it would be better than fitted, but it looks awful .

Please, please help me. I feel so down.

I have a few things I like - a short denim skirt and a short black linen skirt, because my legs aren't bad, I like long loose shirts, but am struggling to find ones that cover my bum.

Any ideas appreciated. Links would be great too. I can't get to a personal shopper service and mostly shop online, as all I have nearby is M&S, Debenhams, New Look, Peacocks, bon marche ...

The Styled by Susie facebook page sounds great, I looked for it, but wasn't sure I had the right page, I'll look again.

Grey I'll look for those brands on ebay, thanks for the tip.

Today I'm wearing a top I picked up this afternoon that I wouldn't have worn before this thread - not covering my bum and not as deep cut at the neck as usual, black and white striped, with a light cardigan over, with my M&S jeggings, and I actually like it so thanks for the encouragement to try something new.

I've also signed up for Stitchfix in the hope they'll send something I like! This is way out of my comfort zone, but I guess I can send it all back if I'm not happy. I'll keep you all posted ...

That sounds lovely!

Not trying to cover my bum/tummy was a big thing I got from Susie...she pointed out that the long vests I tended to wear under tops actually just cut my legs off and made them look dumpy 😂. As my legs are actually long and a reasonable part of me that seemed a bit silly.

Just want to say OP that I love your turn of phrase regarding jeans and how inconsiderate they are of your bits 😀

Cos and Carolyn Donnelly's The Edit at Dunnes Stores are good for apple shapes. Not cheap though.

Adollop
Check out the thread on Style and Beauty entitled "Pls find me those Loose cotton jersey dresses."
You might get good suggestions there.

I can relate very well. I have found that anything with an empire waist (tops and dresses) suit me very well. Gathers in my smallest area and then the fabric sort of floats past any lumps and bumps. Also sort of contains my boobs but is flattering at the same time. I have actively started googling empire waist dresses etc to find what I want. Theres also a blog on facebook called fuller figure fuller bust that I follow. The woman oozes confidence and has really inspired me. She is larger and really knows how to dress and make herself look great.

I used to do the tunic thing but actually I think it's what contributed to my weight gain- being comfortable and hidden. I really find that wearing something a bit more structured is more motivational.

I have been living in Next and M&S shift dresses in the summer
www.next.co.uk/g23144s8#324478

I tend to wear a body shaper slip underneath
www.marksandspencer.com/secret-slimming-medium-control-full-slip/p/p60100013?prevPage=srp

I hadn't thought about empire line dresses etc.

I thought about shaping underwear, but IME it's uncomfortable, rolls down, takes ages to take off when you need a pee, cuts off the circulation in various parts of the body ...

Eugh yes I have never succeeded with body shaping underwear but perhaps I need a professional to find me the right type for me. Last time I wore some it was to a wedding and I passed out and was sick!

Definitely look up empire waist dresses (not so much empire line as some just flare out). Its the rouching under the bust that just somehow flatters.

Oh that's not good! I've not had as extreme an experience, but I have psoriasis and shapewesr chaffs and makes my skin sore.

Oh Stitchfix looks interesting! Let me know how you get on. I never go clothes shopping & only ever get bits online so the thought of having clothes sent directly to me sounds so fun

I chickened out Decided I can't afford it at the moment .. But I will do it one day. Sorry.

On another MN thread a pp recommended an app called stylebox whereby you photographs of all your clothes/shoes/accessories upload them onto the app and it comes up with outfit ideas for you. Might be worth a try

stylebox thread

Ooh that sounds interesting! Thank you I'll have a look.

That was probably me 😂 I’m a little obsessed with the app! It’s fantastic though.

Look for fabrics that aren't too thin or too thick, as neither will do you any favours.

I used to think I had to cover my bum, like you, but now I realise that v or deep scoop neck tops, that cover the tops of my trousers instead are more flattering. I always wear Spanx to smooth my spare tyre as much as possible and also wear high rise waist trousers. Just because a top doesnt completely cover your bum, doesnt mean it has to be short and boxy, highlighting a spare tyre. Even if it means trying a lot on, it's worth it to have quite a few lovely tops to choose from. I'm a size 16 with a hideous spare tyre from years of yoyo dieting and I wear a 34FF bra and am 5ft 7".

I just hate shopping 😭 Having to try things on. I don't know where to start really.

Adollop I think you've just got stuck in a rut and have limited your choices by what you perceive to be clothes that don't suit you, you need to go shopping with a trusted friend and ask her/him to pick some bits out that they think you'd look good in, try them on without even thinking, I bet you'd be surprised! Also as another poster said all because you've covered your bum/tummy/hips etc doesn't mean that they have suddenly disappeared.
I've got a bit of a tummy and huge boobs and I tend to not wear anything too baggy or that hangs off my boobs as it adds pounds into me, I have good legs so wear tight jeans or skirts that finish above the knee, never below.
Also what helps is to find a celebrity who has a similar build to you and have a look what they've worn over the years to get a feel for what looks good.

No celebrity is as far as me

I'm totally fed up of all my clothes, the new things I bought haven't made me feel any better about how I look. Tbh even when I was size 12 I didn't like how I looked, so it's not just about being overweight. It doesn't help that I'm skint and keeping buying things on eBay instead that then don't fit.

I've no comfortable bras that don't stick into me - I have skin problems and the wires rub me sore under my arms.

I bought some straight jeans because I was fed up of skinny jeans, but I don't like them either. Now I'm back to leggings and long tops because I've nothing else I like.

There's no one to go shopping with me, no friends.

I can't wear Spanx much either, because they rub my skin sore or give me stomach ache and tbh they don't seem to make much difference.

If I were you I'd get measured up for s new bra, buy one and then get the exact same bra on eBay in different colour ways at a much cheaper price. A new bra will slim you down, your boobs will be lifted, your tummy will look thinner and your clothes will look 100 times better.

Thanks. I don't really have anywhere nearby that I trust to measure correctly. But even when I've had this done in the past (at bravissimo) as soon as I've worn the bra for a whole day it has started to rub under my arms.

There appears to be a lot standing in your way of achieving a wardrobe you like, whenever someone suggests something you seem to have s reason why it won't work. I'm sorry op I'm all out of suggestions.

Loads of sales at the moment op as shops clear stick from summer.
Order online & try on?
https://joanieclothing.com