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Original poster

wedding ettiquette , is a white dress ok when your not the bride?

180 replies

LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 19:53

Just looking for opinions. I have a friends wedding in August when i will be 4/5 month pregnant. I have a white knee lentgh dress from monsoon i have never worn, strapless but fitted under the bust with a full skirt. I think it would fit me then and would save me getting a new outfit i wouldn't / couldn't wear again. But is white to a wedding ok ?

OP posts:
fryalot · 28/06/2007 19:55

it always used to be a big NO to white when not the bride, but nowadays it is not so much of a problem.

If it were me, I would ask the bride if she had any objections.

purpleturtle · 28/06/2007 19:57

I had one friend who would have been mortified if a guest had worn white to her wedding.

It wouldn't have crossed my mind at all.

What you describe sounds fine - could you wear a coloured jacket or cardi with it?

nomdeplume · 28/06/2007 19:57

It depends on the style of the dress and what accessories you wear with it imo. Your dress sounds quite wedding dress like to me from your description, so I'd be inclined to say no to wearing it BUT it may well be do-able if you put it with coloured/obviously non-bridal accessories.

HonoriaGlossop · 28/06/2007 20:01

oh, I think fine, accessorise with coloured stuff and it won't be a problem. I would have thought it was a bit of an old-fashioned worry from the days MANY years ago when wedding dresses weren't so over the top as they are now. I mean, at most weddings there is only one woman in an ivory gown with 6 foot train and acres of veiling. Don't think a white knee length monsoon dress is going to compete or offend. At least it wouldn't offend anyone who had half a brain cell.

bookthief · 28/06/2007 20:01

Depends how much like a wedding dress it looks... We went to a friend's wedding a couple of years back where the groom's ex-gf was wearing a long white dress very like the bride's (quite an informal wedding). Even worse, they were very similar in looks, even worse another friend came to the evening reception quite pissed and rushed up and hugged the ex-gf because she mistook her for the bride .

It was deeply weird - I think it's safe to say that the girl had ishoos. The bride and groom seemed oblivious though!

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:07

the dress looks similair to thiswww.edressme.com/dresses858887.html

OP posts:
MarsLady · 28/06/2007 20:08

I know it's okay these days but I can hear my mother in me when I say.... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:10

although i'm quite small so it's longer on me, i was thinking silver shoes , bag and accessories? or more colourful ?

OP posts:
bookthief · 28/06/2007 20:10

That's gorgeous! Nothing like a wedding dress. You could get a bolero jacket or a shrug in a colour with matching accessories or something.

MascaraOHara · 28/06/2007 20:10

I really love the dress but I don't think you should wear it to the wedding..

..unless you went for some really bright coloured accessories, even then only maybe... not sure at all.

Slubberdegullion · 28/06/2007 20:10

agree with nomdeplume.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 28/06/2007 20:11

I wouldn't, personally.

FlamingTomatoes · 28/06/2007 20:12

Only if you are 3 dress sizes bigger than her.

Hulababy · 28/06/2007 20:12

I wore a white suit once to a wedding, a few years ago now. It wasn't my first choice outfit, but I marked my proper outfit just before leaving and literally had nothing else vaguely suitable. Have to say that I felt really uncomfortable and out of place wearing it, and vowed never to do so again, no matter how much of an emergency.

TootyFrooty · 28/06/2007 20:12

One of the guests at my brother's wedding wore a white dress. You could hear my sil's family saying "Who does she think she is wearing white to a wedding? It's not her day. Blah blah blah."

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:12

Oh that's a lovely dress. Maybe ask the bride if she's going very traditional but personally I don't think it would matter one bit. Silver accessories sound nice, but maybe a stronger colour would go further to distinguish it from a bridal look. Perhaps even black for a sort of 40's feel...?

morningpaper · 28/06/2007 20:12

NO

babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 20:13

NO

morningpaper · 28/06/2007 20:13

especially if youare up the duff, no

you will get all the attention anyway for being up the duff, and wearing white will make you doubly annoying

don't do it

MrsFish · 28/06/2007 20:13

I think the dress is fine imo, how about a coloured cardi or wrap to go with it?

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:13

(I mean ask the bride if her wedding is to be very traditional and you think she would mind).

Well, reading the other posts, perhaps I'm too blase. Really wouldn't give a hoot were it my wedding.

Lol at flamingtomatoes though.

dyzzidi · 28/06/2007 20:14

Er sorry but NO! i don't care how nice your dress is save it for another time

fillyjonk · 28/06/2007 20:14

i think its fine, no one will think you are the bride (won't the KNOW what she looks like anyway?) and thats all that matters.

you WILL need something with that, a bolero or similar, make sure its not white and you're fine.

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:14

i knoe she probably wouldn't bother but she is quite laid back , would hate everyone to say that tooty, although would be three dress sizes bigger as i am pregnant so no worries on that score.

OP posts:
Chirpygirl · 28/06/2007 20:15

I got married in a pale pink dress and was furious and really upset when my sister wore a dress in the exact same shade, even though she had seen my dress already.

I would do what the others say and accesorise with colours and maybe a shrug or something but definately don't wear it on it's own.

nice dress though