wedding ettiquette , is a white dress ok when your not the bride?

[LilyLoo]

Just looking for opinions. I have a friends wedding in August when i will be 4/5 month pregnant. I have a white knee lentgh dress from monsoon i have never worn, strapless but fitted under the bust with a full skirt. I think it would fit me then and would save me getting a new outfit i wouldn't / couldn't wear again. But is white to a wedding ok ?

I actually think the dress you've linked to looks remarkably like a wedding dress and would be highly and totally inappropriate

any dress that is plain cream / ivory / white / off white is simply bad taste to wear to a wedding

I for one would be one of the ones muttering about 'who does she think she is' if anyone were so crass as to turn up to a wedding in a sort of wedding style dress (my mother installed that button and you can blame her)

I agree Fillyjonk, as the Bride it wouldn't bother me at all, but I think the guest wearing the bride's outfit would feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed.

I still think it would be fine though with lots of v colourful accessories.

agree with Twig
also by the time August comes it might not fit anyway so you'd be better off looking for something nearer then
you could buy something that will last you the rest of your pregnancy like smart trousers etc

Just ask the Bride

One of my mates girlfriends turned up to our wedding dressed like an xmas tree fairy, although it only made her look dumb it still would have been nice if she checked beforehand.

oh no have just bought a white dress for a wedding! i think it will be going back ....

Look, no-one is going to think she's the bride. If Lilyloo were asking "Should I turn up in my Vera Wang - I only wore it for one day, and it was very expensive" then that would be different, but all she wants to do is wear a white dress. As everyone else has said, with some coloured accessories, she'll look fab.
Let's not get too carried away with the "It's the bride's special day and nothing must be allowed to mar her perfect happiness". Jeez, only Mariah Carey can get away with that kind of extreme diva behaviour.
Perhaps the prettier guests should wear bags on their heads in order that they don't outshine the bride?

Agreewith Satine and MrsFish. I think this not to wear white thing is very old hat now. Quite often the brides themselves dont wear white. If a bride wore blue would that mean no else is allowed too? Ridiculous IMO the OP is not trying to upstage the bride imo and at 4/5 months you can look pretty big. I am 13+5 and already have a litle bump as well as my waist disappearing.

I join MrsFish in shaking my head at the nonense of it all

In my real world, no one minds if a guest wears white. Why would they? Best to do a courtesy check with the bride first, if only to be able to say if anyone comments that the bride was perfectly fine with it.

My best friend (a reader) wore white too, and Mum and my sister (heavily preg) wore black - didn't cross my mind to be bothered by it - they weren't in floor-length, done-up-to-the-nines dresses and (more importantly) they didn't have that "just this minute married" glow.

I'm in the "wear-it! crowd!

AND if anyone had been rudely muttering about my guests' clothes, they would have had me to answer to. That is the bottom line really. How rude, esp if the bride is fine with something.

Haven't read the thread, but I would say no.

Lilyloo are you going to wear it then you know you want to .. go on go on go on go on go on.

you can't say 'in the real world nobody minds' when this thread has basically proved that people do mind

that was a bit uncalled for if it was directed at me. NEver said manners are old hat, just disagree with your POV regarding wearing white to a wedding, which imo is fine as long as teamed with a colour scheme. There again I wore white to my dads funeral (which was completely acceptable).

It used to be etiquette for only the bride to wear white (think this was from edwardian times) to signify virginity and purity (hardly appropriate for many marriages nowadays then). Also it does not appear that Lilyloo is attempting to upstage the bride. For a summer wedding I think it is perfectly suitable.

This might all be by the by tho as Lilyloo might not even be abl to fit in it.

I dotn get why people are getting a bit nasty about it, but tbh I dont get why this happens alot on many threads anyway. Fine not to agree but no need to be so hostile.

even if people today don't mind people of my mother's generation definitely do so yes you could wear it and think all my hip young friends think it's cool..... as long as you don't mind the older generations at your friend's wedding thinking it's a bit of a no no.
You see i couldn't wear it because I don't like wondering if people are frowning at me all day!

awen - I don't think people are getting nasty...

I was just commenting on "my" real world - can't think of a bride I know who would have minded, that's all.

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We went to my friend's wedding and my sil was worried because she was wearing white. It didn't matter in the end as the bride turned up in black.

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