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Original poster

wedding ettiquette , is a white dress ok when your not the bride?

180 replies

LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 19:53

Just looking for opinions. I have a friends wedding in August when i will be 4/5 month pregnant. I have a white knee lentgh dress from monsoon i have never worn, strapless but fitted under the bust with a full skirt. I think it would fit me then and would save me getting a new outfit i wouldn't / couldn't wear again. But is white to a wedding ok ?

OP posts:
Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:15

At a friends wedding, I was 8 month pg, wore white trousers and a dark patterned strapless top and did a reading - still don't think the attention was swayed from the bride. She looked fab.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 28/06/2007 20:15

When my SIL, who is well known for her spiteful remarks and explosive temperament, got married, the wives of her friends ganged up on wearing white for the wedding. So I suppose it is not on.

I once wear a cream outfit to a wedding and the bride was as lovely as usual, but it was a bit unconmfortable to be a bit of talking point for the other invitees.

fillyjonk · 28/06/2007 20:16

i HONESTLY did not notice what anyone wore to my wedding

it wouldn't cross my mind.

i also think, you are pg and get SOME dispensation here, finding decent stuff when you are pg is a bloody nightmare.

MrsFish · 28/06/2007 20:16

Don't most brides wear ivory nowadays anyway?

tasja · 28/06/2007 20:16

If you came to my wedding I wouldn't be to happy.

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:16

Anyway, a little bit of leeway if you are pregnant - wear what you like! For goodness sake, it's not a bit like a wedding dress.

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:17

morningpaper

OP posts:
MrsFish · 28/06/2007 20:17

I wouldn't have any problem whatsoever with anyone wearing white to my wedding. I really don't see the big deal nowadays.

babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 20:18

The bride may not notice or care, but i bet others will talk, still say its a no no.

fillyjonk · 28/06/2007 20:19

seriously?

people talk about these things?

god almighty

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:19

ooh even more of a dilemma now!

OP posts:
babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 20:20

course they do, last wedding i went to there was a woman who everyone thought was a bridesmaid but she wasn't cos of what she was wearing. Loads of men and women were talking about it. Was a joke really.

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:20

From the wedding channel:

"Wearing white: since the popularization of the white wedding dress in the mid-19th century, women have avoided wearing white to a wedding, so that the bride might uniquely shine in her white wedding gown. While this rule, like the "no black dresses" rule, has since been rejected, a female guest should select carefully if she opts to wear white. Be careful to not select anything that might cause anyone to mistake you for the bride. Since current bridal fashions are sleeker than ever, and many older and second time brides dress in wedding suits, you might embarrass yourself (and the bride) in a white outfit. If you plan to wear white, choose carefully, and accessorize with color."

Ah well, I guess I know nothing after all.

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:21

I know, filyjonk, tis what I thought. But perhaps one is just not attending the RIGHT weddings...

babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 20:21

That should've read that everyone thought she was a bridesmaid cos of what she was wearing, but she wasn't

Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:21

(And I don't wear much black to funeral)

Rebel.

fillyjonk · 28/06/2007 20:22

god thats mad

why would anyone care ?

its meant to be a happy occasion, not an excuse for bitching because someone hasn't followed an unwritten code

MascaraOHara · 28/06/2007 20:22

Outfits get scrutinized (along with hair and make up)..

too bridal
too high cut
too low cut
too tarty
too hoochy mama
too young for wearer
too old for wearer

etc

What do you thinkall the unmarried bitter people do to pass the time whilst photos are taken

Pannacotta · 28/06/2007 20:22

I think its fine as it doesn't look like a wedding dress but to be on the safe side would def wear it with a coloured shrug/bolero type thing over the shoulders
(I think white and strapless might compete a bit with the bride).
How about a pretty hot pink colour, then you coudl get a bag to match which would look good with silver shoes?

VoodooMama · 28/06/2007 20:23

TBH I was a bit annoyed when one woman attending my wedding came in a white strapless dress and had her hair put up by a hairdresser...think she wanted to be me...

fillyjonk · 28/06/2007 20:24

i do honestly find that rather depressing

especially since at the next wedding i will be fat (pg but not obviously) and trying to conceal Harry Potter 7 in the folds of my tescos tea dress

Original poster
LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 20:26

ROFL Mascara, could do panacotta or just put it in the wash now with a bright pink top and hope for the best think i mau have to buy something else don't want to embarrass anyone walnut
Aah hate shopping especially when pg and for a wedding outfit!

OP posts:
Walnutshell · 28/06/2007 20:30

Yes for goodness sake, don't embarrass anyone LilyLoo! Oh bugger it, keep the dress white, buy some pink accessories and stride in with your head held high (belly first of course).

Aww filly, I want a Tesco's tea dress.

No, really.

luckylady74 · 28/06/2007 20:30

silver is bad - i got married in a white dress and silver shoes - red/black whatever including bag and you'll be fine - i wore black trousers when i was pregnant to 3 weddings and was worried, but no one cares - having said that all the tops/ dresses have acres of material at the moment so go to primark and get something for £4 if you're really worried!

Chelseamum · 28/06/2007 20:32

It is unappropiate to wear white at wedding!

I don't understand how people still dont understand that there are other hundreds of colours to wear at a wedding and that white is just reserved for her.

I just don't get it!

The fact that you are hesitating should be enough for you to make a sensible decision.