I want to dress upper middle class

[ConfusedWife1234]

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

A woman I know told me she thought I was desperately poor first time we met... and I am really not happy with the way I dress.

Can you help me?

Yes, the man I referred to was upper class. I wasn’t thinking straight when I posted. The woman? Perhaps not so much so. Mmmm. My neighbours were therefore umc thinking about it. Helicopter pilot, published architect, another one an artist etc. That sort of thing? Classic clothes then as you’ve been advised. Unless you want to dress like the Artist and she was very boho and not in a chic way. Surely you just copy the people around you? And personal shopper.

Reading back OP..you've answered your own question. The woman in all black with the pearls and manicured nails just isn't you ... you said that..It's not you. Simples..Do, moving on..what you could do (that would be more positive than going on this class thing -which is a crock of shit by the way- is to go to a department store and have a session with a stylist and see if you can find new things to wear which you might reflect your personality...That would be good...different colours, styles etc.

If you live in a neighbourhood you are not upper middle class.

I walk the dogs in Le Chameau leather shooting boots and a Barbour jacket. I hope no one thinks I'm upper middle class 😂

Have to start wearing my Adidas jogging bottoms over there. Bring myself down a peg or 2.

Just wear the clothes you want and that you are comfortable in.

OP:
Please describe this this “neighborhood” place. Are you actually talking about a new build estate?

Joules is certainly not classy.

If you were truly UMC, OP, you wouldn’t give a shiny shit what people thought of you.

Some people are forgetting or ignoring the fact that OP's English, though excellent, is not her first language.

You don’t want to look stylish then! 😂😂

Katekat- no, it's because she's translating to English!

The woman in black looked good because her clothes suit her. If you're very pale ("milky skin"?) then black isn't right for you. I'm not a colours expert, but there are many in the S&B board that are and can help.
What are your hair and eye colours?
Find out what suits your colouring before buying anything, and then stick to that palette.
So perhaps browns and greens, or navy and teals, whatever.
Observe your neighbours- what do their children wear? Where do they shop?
I think you have to think individuality. They know you're 'not like them', so don't try to force it- dress individually, for how suits you.
I am thinking that you perhaps have Scottish type colouring, so woollens, tweeds, etc could be the way to go- try and look at some of the brora fashion shoots, and there are some knitwear books that are very Scottishy (if you see what I mean)
And please, do consider counselling of some sort, or maybe a self-help book, to address your feelings about yourself- you are worth it.

Who wears pie crust blouses these days!? Nobody.

Weirdly I saw a Pinterest Pinterest just yesterday of jeans, round necked woollen jumper and pie crust blouse!
So I'm.guessing American youngsters wanting to ape "middle class Europeans" might still wear them?

What not to have:

slug brows

a manicure of fakery with a different fake out of 5 digits

a stylist

high heels with everything

Pandora things

Michael Kors bag - or indeed any ostentatious bag

Fake tan

Face contouring

Oops- Pinterest pin!

Ffs are people just being purposely obtuse??

OP, you need to become comfortable in your own skin.

You need to see a personal shopper and explain to them your lifestyle and what you are looking for.

If black is too harsh for you you could do navy instead. Or black/camel, black/grey, black/denim, etc.

You don’t need a manicure to look well put together - I haven’t worn nail varnish or had my nails done for the whole of 2018 because I got fed up with it. I keep my nails at a reasonable length, not too long, and I literally do nothing to them but apply cream daily. They look great.

If you lead an active, outdoorsy life then get good quality, well chosen clothing to fit that life. Get a good, low-maintenance haircut, so that you can wear it in a pony tail most of the time but it also sits nicely when you wear it down.

Op I agree that the woman who said you looked poor was very rude and she herself has no class.
I have mingled with working class people, middle class people and upper class people (royals). I have met lovely people amongst them all and I don't believe anyone has ever been as rude as that woman was.
In general I can say that the people who had the most style and looked the best were not the most wealthy.
The most glamarous, attractive people could literally wear a bin bag, they just ooze style and have a certain x factor. People seem naturally drawn to them. A friend of mine is like this. She will just twist her hair up and pin it up and look fabulous. Her clothes are not expensive but she is slim and has beautiful colouring. She also stays out of the Sun or used high factor sun cream all the time.
Anyway, if I were you I would go to a department store and book in with a personal shopper to get some advice.
But some facial creams too and try out the make up counters.
You can afford to buy several make up pallets so that is good news.

What you described isn't upper middle class......

Think you mean palettes not the wooden things.

Let go of the class obsession. Find your style and own it.

Wash and style your hair every day. Go through your wardrobe and throw out any clothes which make you feel rubbish, which don’t fit properly or which are damaged.

Go and see a good personal shopper, invest in some items which suit your lifestyle, body type and which you are comfortable wearing. Buy some good quality footwear. Make sure you have several outfits ready at all times hanging clean and pressed in your wardrobe. Wear good quality underwear that makes you feel great.

Then get on with your life - never day the phrase upper middle class again.

Also don’t play by other people’s rules. If some one you love buys you pandora jewellery, wear it. Don’t be a snob. If you love high heels wear them.

Katekay rules might work for her - but if there are things you love on ther list do them! Everyone needs to stop judging people.

My main rule for you is Stop caring what other people think. Confidence is more stylish than any cashmere sweater or stupid branded jacket.

Op-how does your husband treat you?

Does he have an opinion on how you dress?

Why do you think you aren't good enough? Does your husband support you, or does he criticise you? Is his illness the real problem? If it isn't, I can't understand why your dress sense would affect your children, yet you seem afraid for them.

It’s because it’s not actually about her dress sense. It’s about feeling ‘less than’, an imposter, and a sense of not fitting in. OP has latched onto clothing in an effort to replicate what she sees in order to feel the same as, worthy and included.

Wearing the uniform may help a little, but learning to carry yourself with authority and entitlement and self-confidence is far more important.

What a weird thread

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

oh for goodness sake, wear what makes you look good, not what you think you should be wearing