The You Tube video below is a bit long (a bit like this post, but I am having a rant to myself, setting it down) but she raises observations about what was going on in her head when she was in spending mode which really resonates with me.
A few years ago I was in debt. I spent a lot of my spare time at Oxford Street shopping, looking for things to buy. A few things that she said I was also doing. Constantly looking for something to want. Because I was at Oxford Street so often I knew the ranges of all the shops I was interested in and used to get frustrated when the ranges did not change quickly enough. I was jaded, there was no shop too big or too small, too cheap or too expensive that I would not visit. I used to go online a lot too. Spending gave me a temporary hit.
She also says that her price mapping was off kilter. Mine was too. By that she means that she would think nothing of spending 40 plus dollars on one skincare item, which in retrospect she would never buy now. She explains it better. That was me too. Love that freshwater pearl bracelet...it comes in two other colours? I'll take all three....
I know what was going on with me. I was overweight and rather than address that I was buying jewellery, bags, shoes, scarves, expensive toiletries and make up. Anything to make me feel better. I had 200 plus nail polish from the cheap to the exorbitant. This included paying over the odds for discontinued "must haves" on eBay - behaviour she also references. The credit card statements started to give me sleepless nights.
I gave myself two years to get myself out of debt. I managed it before the end of 2 years, and lost weight and got fitter at the same time. I was a reformed character....however I have started to slip hence my interest in this thread.
In the last few months I have bought a lot of make up, some of it very expensive. I already had loads. Lots of half opened bottles. Lots of books (that's a whole different thread but I need to read the books I have without buying more). It seems like I have addictive tendencies and the reformation of them was gossamer thin. This time I have given myself a talking to, all this stuff makes me feel queasy, shallow and out of control. And there is no reason for it. I am still a healthy weight, I am not compensating for anything, just falling into this big consumerist hole again, but this time more online. (I can't abide physical shopping now so that's something.)
I am determined to make permanent changes. I am not in debt or overdrawn. I don't use credit cards and I do save, but this stupid and unnecessary spending troubles me and I am determined I am going to stop it before the big slide into debt starts again.