Hop on, the train is about to leave frumpsville

[DULLDull]

I posted on chat a few days ago about this but thought this might be am even better place.

I am frumpy and I hate it.

I am 45, 3 stone overweight and a SAHM who feels has lost her mojo since motherhood descended 12 years ago.

I want to change so I am hoping to start a thread for any like minded fellow frumps.

I am thinking clothes, hair, make up, diet and style tips in one place to help release our inner goddess.

Anyone care to join?

Do you think weight be less of an issue (I’m talking generally not specifically to this thread) if we took better care of our overall appearance?

If we were happier with what we saw in the mirror regardless of how we perceived our size, would it make a difference do you think?

I ask this because I gonto SW every week, and I don’t actually do anything. Am I fixating on weight as the thing to fix? If we (generally) were to work on overall presentation would the weight ‘problem’ disappear or would it fix itself if we were generally happier with our appearance and looking more polished, taking more time and care?

It’s as though I need to be doing something, but I’m wondering if I’m getting it wrong? That’s why I ask. Curious to know what you think?

Do tell me if I’m talking nonsense too.

Hurricane spf in a moisturiser or foundation isn't enough to provide proper protection. You'd have to put so much of those products on that it would be unworkable (watch Wayne Goss's YouTube video). Try tinted sunscreens like Avène which work as sunscreen and BB cream or a separate sunscreen before foundation. Many of the Asian ones (Biore, Etude House Sunprise) are much easier to work with (lighter, more gel like).

All the skincare groups I'm on agree that sunscreen (and appropriate cleansing to remove) is the single best anti ageing (and anti skin cancer) measure you can take.

My observations on why British women often look not very put together in the summer is borne out of moving to the US from the UK 8 years ago, and having to suddenly deal with insane hot summers where you were expected to function as normal - i.e. not be just on holiday

One of the big things I noticed was as PPs have said, the putting together of outfits. For every day wear, nice shorts with structure and a t-shirt / tunic are often the norm and these usually compensate one another - i.e. if in shorts, usually wear a t-shirt / top / sleeve with short or cap arms and not spaghetti straps etc. I find that the UK approach is to bare as much flesh as possible all at once which off the beach, often looks unkempt (imo)

The other pieces are footwear - nice / smartish sandals or flats often elevate an outfit from beachwear and underwear that's appropriate for the outfit

From looking at outfits on Pinterest it seems to me that Americans put together nice outfits but then ruin it by using way too many accessories.

To be fair, the American tourists at my European hotel this week were mainly dressed appallingly in the heat. Spaghetti straps, bulging flesh, big garish patterns.

The Brits did have more flesh on show though - lots of visible arse cheek.

Just wanted to pass on my appreciation of the thread contributors doing so much research for us all on holiday, with fashion and lifestyle advice eat and drink everything, I would

I used some of my really good body cream this morning after my shower. The stuff I normally hoard as it appears to be too special to use I do this all.the.time. Use the good stuff!

I know what you mean about the smart casual wear in the heat. I own one pair of shorts. One. They are good ones but more would help of course if I do buy any the weather will instantly change

I also only have one pair of shorts but as we didn't have a summer in Ireland for the last few years that wasn't a problem until this year. I cut up an old pair of jeans. Such sophistication

jane the distressed look is very in!

I should caveat my above comments about style in America, by saying I live very near one of the biggest cities where people have a semblance of style. Everywhere else its logo t-shirts, weird fitting shorts and logo baseball caps and crimes against footwear.

Hi all - I've just seen a camouflage jacket I like (in next) - what do I style it with? Or is it not worth bothering with?

Thank you @BagelGoesWalking I guess I will put the SPD on everyday. I'm starting to feel like I look old.

@whattimeislove I have started to look at what the time is matched with on the model or in the mag and use that as a pointer.

Thanks hurricane - I've just image googled "camouflage jacket" to see - I'm going to take a chance

Good morning all. Hope you’re having great weekends. I love the positivity and mutual encouragement here.

I found myself tagged on social media last night and the photo was so horrific a sight I’ve barely slept! I’m a stone overweight because of steroids, and having been a naturally skinny woman all my life, have attempted to hide it by wearing very loose clothes. Last night I was wearing what I thought was a wafty linen dress. In my head I looked nice and summery. I was very comfortable in the heat, true. Sadly, in the photo I look terrible. Far from covering me up, the dress adds pounds and pounds. Also such a very, very wrong length on me. Oh, and my hair is like Captain Caveman’s.

I’m going to abandon my ‘natural’ hair look and go back to silicones and blow drying straight.

I’m going to make my husband take photographs of me so I can see for myself way ahead of time which outfits flatter me.

I’m going to reduce as much of my medication weight as I can using 16:8 (I lost 3 stone doing 5:2 but have plateaued for the past year).

So now I have a plan.

I have started following all the INstagram accounts suggested earlier in the thread. They are all very slim. It makes such a difference. Sigh.

My fave product is wunder brow. It brings back my sparse, over plucked brows nicely. It is quite pricey but lasts for 2 or 3 days at a time. It also has the seal of approval from 16 yr DD so always a joy to get rare praise for something looking good!

Ohforfoxsake I’m not sure what you’re getting at? However I do think that losing weight is probably the single most important thing we can do to look better. But it’s hard. I used to do Slimming World but only ever lost weight the first two weeks. Unlimited carbs just doesn’t work for me. I also really like olive oil and cheese. Not really fussed about things like those chocolate bars they sell at every meeting.
You can be overweight and well groomed and happy in your own skin. I always admire Pierce Brosnan’s wife Keeley? She always looks happy and contented and well dressed. I think you can still be very well groomed. You will need to to spend more money on clothes to look good.
Mm18 you’ve done really well losing three stone. That’s such a fantastic amount. Doing the 16/8 sounds like a plan.
I’m sure you did look nice but it was just a bad photo/angle.
I need this Wunder brow jazzmin . I have no eyebrows to speak of.
Yesterday I wore my Wrap joggers with a Wrap linen jumper as it was wet and miserable here. I’m pinching outfits from the Wrap brochure as without the cool tops the joggers just look ordinary.

I think I would be happy and contented and well dressed if I were married to PB

I totally get what you mean about the photo MM I saw a similar tagged photo from a girls night out and couldn't find myself Yes - I was the fat one on the end. Totally bloody shocking. How did I go from being the thinnest one to the fattest? It did inspire me to lose a stone and I am still losing now - albeit slowly as on holidays etc.

I have done the opposite from you with my hair and am leaving it all Captain Caveman/Kate Humble rather than straightening it to within an inch of it's life. I found it had lost condition so a break from the heat is needed.

Keep going everyone. We Shall Be Sleek!!

Can i join this thread please? I dont have time to read all of your wisdom now but I've stopped drinking alcohol and hope that frees me time to sleep better and exercise so i can once again look like I'm back in the human race!

Teta I think my ramblings could be summarised as ‘should I take a more holistic approach? am I focussing too much on weight loss?’ 😄 thank you for your thoughts. (I think the answer is ‘yes’ 😄)

Also I should say I have name changed since joining this thread early on! It occurred to me that it may look as though I barged in!!

Congratulations to all those who have made changes and are seeing results! I hopped on early and have then been considering... it's the weight for me. If I was petite rather than dumpy I'd be a lot less frumpy! (And grumpy which was offered by autocorrect).

So today is day 1 of slimfast. I've got 5 days before I go on holiday to the land of cheese and bread and patisserie where any notion of healthy eating will be lost. The plan is to trial the slimfast plan this week. If I can get my belt fractionally looser before I go away, and if I can stick to the plan, then I'll do it seriously when I get back. If not, I'll need to think again.

It's not as unrealistic as it sounds. The first couple of pounds always come off the region formerly known as my waist. After that I seem to target my fingers which is frustrating. They just aren't that fat, unlike several other bits .

MM, me too on the being tagged online and thinking OMGFG WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? Much sympathy.

did top lip waxing yesterday and it hurt like hell. Also now have bumpy red top lip, sincerely hoping it goes before work tomorrow!!

I'm a stone down in the past month and this is Day 20 with no alcohol. Still a long, long way to go though.

Can I join in? I'm 39, about 4 stone overweight and have a very frumpy "style". I have no style at all really, but I also have little time, money or motivation to improve my look.

I really need improvements that are incredibly easy to do. During term time all my effort goes into work and kids, then holidays are about kids and housework (because the house gets severely neglected during term time!).

I've tried sw and ww so many times, I know they work but I also know that as soon as I stop I put more weight back on. I've also had success with a weight loss hypnosis app, but again as soon as I stopped listening every night I put the weight back on :(

I suppose the easiest thing to do to get me started would be to get a haircut. I haven't had my hair done properly for over a year, so I think I'll make an appointment for this week.

Me also on the being tagged in photos - nothing like a side on picture of your hammy upper arms to make you depressed!

Instead of concentrating on weight loss first (as I am incapable to sticking to them atm due to lack of willpower), I've decided to try and either get to the gym /do decent exercise every day or walk 10,000+ steps. Two weeks in I've managed that every day, except for yesterday when I had a long bath instead.

Went for a pedicure today thanks to inadvertently ripping a nail off, and a leg wax in advance of holidays next week.

I'm finding actually taking the time out of the day to do stuff is as beneficial as actual grooming for my headspace

Re Facebook, I have set it up so that I have to approve any post/photo tags - photos are still out there but only to those who know the tagger

I've bought myself some new clothes to try to liven myself up. Otherwise I'd live in joggers/jeans/baggy tops. Back to exercise (for headspace as much as health) as soon as I can.

September always feels like a new start to me (harking back to school days) so I'm aiming to get everything in place for operation "new me" by then.

Agreed! I've seen a couple of photos of me recently where my nice loose summer shirt combines with my huge chest (thanks, 32GGs) and I just look.... matronly. Yes, that's the word.

So jobs this week include get new bras. I don't shrink much even when I'm skinny so they'll last a while.

I'm running three times a week. It's not much but it's a start.

I have to so slimfast or v low calorie before my gallbladder op for a fortnight. I might just crack on once I'm home from holiday. Hoping it might reset my relationship with food as I'm a bored/emotional eater.

Hi all
I haven't done a huge amount except make myself get dressed in decent clothes everyday. I did do a face mask and sorted out the awful polish on my toes.
I'm part of a group for changing my diet, trying to eat better and more regularly. I have lost a kilo though. Which I'm delighted about and I can feel it in my clothes.
I have a hair appointment on Friday, I've always looked after my hair since it returned after chemo. But my eyebrows are another matter, thin and Spartan. Any tips on improving them?
I did a wardrobe declutter, I've got rid of most of the stuff I didn't wear, but I threw out all joggers and awful hoodies. I don't have them now so I can't wear them.
As a by product of this, my mood and energy has improved and I have started to tackle my house room by room. It wasn't awful but wasn't very clean either.

Sounds like a good start Calindeas

I also have shit eyebrows. They are very sparse and pale - almost invisible really. I am dyspraxic and cannot draw/fill them in, so I get them done every few weeks by beautician. It's most annoying.

Miss Marple I also have 34GG boobs and look matronly.

I am off up north to stay with my Professional Drinker family so will be out of touch for a few days. Good luck everyone.