Hop on, the train is about to leave frumpsville

[DULLDull]

I posted on chat a few days ago about this but thought this might be am even better place.

I am frumpy and I hate it.

I am 45, 3 stone overweight and a SAHM who feels has lost her mojo since motherhood descended 12 years ago.

I want to change so I am hoping to start a thread for any like minded fellow frumps.

I am thinking clothes, hair, make up, diet and style tips in one place to help release our inner goddess.

Anyone care to join?

Ohhh can I join too please ... 48 here feeling yuk and grumpy and totally agree with the big boob thing making you feel matronly 34h here 🙁. X

Frumpy not grumpy 😂😂😂

Hi to all the new passengers.
You can be both frumpy and grumpy here coffee 😁.
I am both at times.
Taking about chest size I’m a 34 E, which is the biggest I’ve ever been. I’m on a perennial search for comfy bras. Ones that are not padded, boned or moulded and I can wear all day. I bought a soft stretchy one at Neon moon and that’s comfy but not that supportive and expensive. I’ve ordered a Calvin Klein convertible sports bra for under a racer back sports top as I’ve ordered tried on and returned so many strapless bras. How do people wear them?
They’re instruments of torture .
Dh bought me wine this weekend so I drank it. Back on the no wine wagon. Not sure about Thursday n exam result day. May be celebrating or commiserating. Diet going ok and Kefir is brewing nicely.

I think it's much easier to de-frump if you are slimmer. I felt like a dumpy frumpy dwarf a couple of years back (I was 51 too so have been perimenopausal as well). I changed my gym routine from classes to weights/bodyweight exercises, ate the calories my PT told me too and lost a stone, and gained some muscle. I'm so much happier with myself and feel so much better in my clothes, as I'm not trying to hide myself. Still struggling to find clothes that fit as I am only just over 5 foot tall.

Need ideas about jeans! I have a big stash of really dated hipster bootcut jeans that now look naff & sit below my post-baby belly, giving me terrible muffin top. Any recommendations for good places to shop for denim, and what the up to date styles are? Thanks!

I've ordered some clothes and waiting impatiently for them to arrive. I've had a bit of a sort out and got rid of some things that were looking a lot bit worn out. Not looking forward to having to wear socks again as I've been in my sandals for the last few months.

I have to do high rise to hide the mum tum. I like Next lift/slim/shape but I have to try every style to check the fit.

I have lost another 1lb-they all count. My nails are looking better than they have done in years. My next task is to replace my 5 year old cream eye shadow.

I have ordered two tops and a camouflage jacket - they've just arrived. They're 1-2 sizes bigger than I am in my head but they fit and look ok, so I think I'll feel better wearing them than some of my other tighter clothes.

I'm now waiting for some funky joggers & tshirt that I've liked for a while, then I'm done clothes-wise. I just need enough that I don't feel completely dowdy clothes and completely off trend.

Once I'm mobile again I can get exercising and lose some weight, but I need to feel better about myself right now.

Next stop is a haircut - I've noticed a few greys at the front. At what point should I do something about them? Will a box dye do the job?

I like those Next jeans (little else of Next) butbthey do petite and being short of leg they are a good fit.

Went to the gym for a spin class. Hair highlighted, tinted and cut. Next appointment booked. Haven’t had my hair done since April. Waxing and eye lashes booked in for next week.

Slimming World meal plan done, shopping was ordered and delivered yesterday.

lol thanks Teta

Oops posted too quick ! Thanks teta yep I'm grumpy and grumpy lol ! Today I decided to go shopping 1st mistake ... got ready in a rush and went with my 13yr old .... well we went in every shop imaginable!! I've got a chronic illness so don't get to go on 'shopping days' often and it's bloody killed me off and my confidence level dropped even lower ! I kept catching site of myself in every bloody mirror and felt chunky and old ( even worse with added walking stick ) I ended up with just a couple of basic plain tshirts and felt too fed up . Obviously being 13 she wanted to walk around all the make up counters !!! ... more mirrors!!... and then announced she'd never been in a Victoria's secrets yup mistake number 2 !!!! Omg I felt 900 in there looking at all the young beautiful things with their little bodies buying equally beautiful underwear and there's me in my matron hammock ! Feeling totally down hearted and sorry for myself tonight ! I felt ok when I left this morning !!! Glass of wine needed but non in the house ! X

Coffee that sounds a really hard day. I’ve been there but not with a chronic illness which must make it doubly difficult. But have the teenager (14) who loves the knickers there and perpetually makes fun of me ( along with dd1). Sometimes though, we need to hit rock bottom in order to start rising to the top again.
Whattime I love my trendy joggers too ( my girls fall around laughing when I call things trendy). I ordered some from M&S with the stripes on the side and they are horrible. Look like a jogger/legging hybrid for grannies.
Ohforfox you sound very active and busy today.
For jeans I wear Nydj or Cbla jeans.I buy them from Brandalley. I do like M&S slim relaxed jeans as well and have them in a range of sizes from 12-16.
fish I used to love weights and did classes for years.Then I got really bored as the classes were the same year after year.I need to find really good Pilates and yoga classes not bloody yogalates ( which means hardly any training.......make it up classes)

Thanks teta - I'm hoping they done make me look like a granny!

I have also ordered some funky joggers! I'm sure everyone will tell me they look like pyjamas. I saw them on the Hush thread and liked the look of them and they were in the sale.

coffee hope you feel better tomorrow

Hi everyone!
How are you all going??
I swear it is easier to look after yourself in summer. This cold weather is hampering my efforts. So much easier to hide under layers.
So what have I accomplished??
Not too much
I have lost more weight and am the smallest I have been in years so yay me! That helps.
Still 30kg to go to goal weight.
I still haven’t been game to try my new lipsticks. I feel like everyone will point at me or something stupid. (I know, I know.. it’s all in my head) so I just look at them then close the draw...
I have been sticking to my winter wardrobe of plain long sleeve t-shirt, jeans and a cardigan with a necklace or scarf. Nothing fancy.
I am wearing makeup though every time I go out (except for lipstick of course) so that’s one thing.
I have been growing my nails and bought some nice new nail polish and I think they look bloody good if I do say so myself.
I am starting to think more about spring/summer and what to wear and so forth. Want to lose a bit more weight so I feel a bit more comfortable in a cossie but I realistically know that I won’t lose heaps in two to three months.
Thanks for the hand cream recommendations, I have googled and some I can get here so thats great!
Jealous that you guys are having lovely warm weather!

Oh and I need to join a gym but I’m terrified!!!
Keep putting that off..

Thank you teta and Jayne. X I have a hospital app today apparently with someone who will helps people after accidents or illness to help them accept the life they have now rather than wanting it how it was before !! Not excited about this !!!!!
Did order the Zara shirt dress ( leopard print) last night in my fed-upness but as I'm only 5ft 2 think it will be about 6 inches past my feet . Does anyone else use make up a bit like armour? I'm only asking as I dont wear much just some bareminerals but find if I don't and look in the mirror I look as bad as I feel and I'm thinking today of actually seeing this dr without anything so I've nothing to hide behind !!! X

Coffee - I’m so sorry the shopping trip was so awful for you. I really feel for you. I hope the appointment today is productive, even if you are dreading it. Just go without makeup! Give your skin a break 😊.

Small improvements here: eyebrows waxed, fake tan on and nail varnish applied 🤣. I just need to lose these last 30 lbs!

thanks coffee ! Yep I'm hoping for fake tanning tonight ! Isn't it funny how having a tan makes you feel so much better !!!! Brown wobbly bits look so much better than pale ones ! Well on me anyway

Coffeeisaddictedtome: I loathe shopping. (Also going to the hair dressers etc). But would you consider an appointment with a personal shopper? A lot of high street stores do them now. I think it’s the way forward personally!

Teta, thanks for the tips on jeans, will take a look.

I was drawn into posting on another thread in Chat about underachieving and failing to realise your potential, and in doing so I have gained some clarity.

For many reasons, my life has not turned out as I would have hoped.

Although I no longer suffer from depression (finally correctly medicated), I have fallen into a pattern of negativity and resignation about lots of areas of my life that are, in fact, within my power to improve. My appearance is definitely one of those areas. Here goes!

Well, I tried on the swimming costume I ordered a while ago.
I resemble a boiled egg wrapped in ruching.
It’s definitely not my best look. So that’s going back then.
I returned something to Monsoon yesterday and bought the navy linen joggers in the sale. I’m 5ft 3 and they are a good shape on me today. I have paired it with a sleeveless white lawn shirt from H&M that’s really pretty. I’m hoping that if I try look good every day this will make me feel better.
eBay total so far is £168 ( when they release the bloody funds). I have spent ages packing parcels this morning.
Coffee I hope today’s meeting was productive if not exactly fun.
I think we all use make up as armour against the world.
yasmini that weight loss is fantastic . Especially with such a young baby. You are obviously doing things right.Walking or swimming or exercising with You tube can work as well as going to the gym. I’m rather tempted to bounce up and down on my kids trampoline !

It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling cheesed off in general about my appearance. I'm 51 and a couple of stone overweight, although I'm in good health and have my own teeth lol!
I need to pull my finger out and I think improving my look would make me feel more positive as well. I've recently cut off all my hair and gone for a short, grey (mostly white) pixie cut - wish I'd done it years ago. So liberating, lots of people have said I look younger surprisingly because it's grey. I only kept it in a short blonde bob because my former husband "liked it long" - but enough about the dickhead (excuse my French).

Lets try to all feel more optimistic about our future stylishness - just because we're not babes doesn't mean we can't look good. I've taken to heart a comment by one online blogger - she said "stop wearing crap" and she's right. Why do I wear my scruffy old stuff when I've got some quite presentable clothes stored neatly in my wardrobe? What am I keeping them for? I don't really socialise but why not just wear them to go to Lidl?

Have you tried Bravissimo, teta ? They do great swimwear. I am a very busty (28H) and rotund apple shape and have found some very flattering bikinis and swimsuits over the years, with proper support. Wear a pretty kaftan or oversized shirt over the top if you are self-conscious about so much flesh on display.

On the exercise front, get a skipping rope! It’s the very definition of high intensity exercise and you can do it in the privacy of your own home!

Mm18 thank you for the advice. I have bloating and Ibs and so sometimes resemble a boiled egg on sticks. Depending on what i have eaten. I find probiotics ( kefir) helps but sometimes I get bored of brewing it and shove it in the fridge for a week or so.
I actually have a couple of Monsoon costumes that are flattering and have several cover ups from the Monsoon beachwear sale. I can’t cope with boning and rigid swimming costumes as I am a bit of a comfort queen. I just couldn’t get on with my miracle suit - sausage casing more like!
Yes, skipping is brilliant exercise.But I must admit it feels like torture to me.