Hop on, the train is about to leave frumpsville

[DULLDull]

I posted on chat a few days ago about this but thought this might be am even better place.

I am frumpy and I hate it.

I am 45, 3 stone overweight and a SAHM who feels has lost her mojo since motherhood descended 12 years ago.

I want to change so I am hoping to start a thread for any like minded fellow frumps.

I am thinking clothes, hair, make up, diet and style tips in one place to help release our inner goddess.

Anyone care to join?

Having joined the thread I’ve actually done very little to de-frump. I wasn’t joking when I said I feel lost. Just don’t know where to start. I had a manicure today, and was wearing make-up, so perhaps that will do for now.

I am going to try 1100 cals a day. Eating 10-6pm and low carb. So a bit of a combination. I have about 3 stone to lose

Earlier on in the thread I mentioned the 5:2 Mediterranean diet and the long running threads. There’s a link to a site that will work out what you need calorie wise. If you search for the username BigChocolateFrenzy you’ll find the one I mean. From reading your posts I suspect you don’t yet have your head around losing weight right now so I doubt your latest plans will work. They’re quite severe under any circumstance let alone not being ready to do it yet.

My advice to you would be to look at the thread and work out your calorie requiremts and do 5 days of that with two days at 800. I would also fast 12 hours a day till you’re used to it.

If however you can’t be bothered with threads I’d settle for about 1600 calories a day 5 days per week and 800 the other 2. You could even get away with fast days of a 1000. I would also start intermittent fasting by doing 12-12. Carb wise I’d try to stay at 100 gms Per day till you get the hang of it. You could then go lower if you liked but to be honest on a 3 stone weight loss I don’t think you’d have to.

Be kind to yourself when it comes to losing weight. If you’re not ready for it mentally don’t make it hard on yourself. Make it easier to start with and the rest will fall into place.

Dull I’m another one who thought that diet was a bit stringent. I’m doing the 16/8 but I don’t count calories and follow a reasonably healthy diet. Its also a easy diet for me and I don’t have to think about it. I can do it in the holidays even with 4 kids cooking at all times of the day. I do have small treats like raspberries and cream or a mini ice lolly or some dark chocolate. But usually eat high fat & low carb as much as possible as I find that more filling and I hate feeling hungry.
The most important thing for me i’ve discovered is no wine. As this completely stops my body burning fat.

There’s a difference between the 800 calorie a day blood sugars diet and the 5:2 Mediterranean one.

This explains it. And whilst Dr Mosley says you don’t need to count calories on your non fast days I think that’s an open invitation to people to lose all inhibitions and it’s preferable to have a calorie limit as a benchmark

thebloodsugardiet.com/the-52-bsd/

I'm going on holidays next week and am making the effort to get the legs waxed and the eyebrows sorted before I go. I'm not going on a sun sea and sand type holiday, but I expect it will be warmer than at home so I might even want to wear shorts. So I'll maybe even try a tiny bit of fake tan, which is a very alien concept for me.

I had a surreal moment driving to work this morning where I passed the chic version of myself, obviously we had similar taste as we were both wearing a Breton jacket and carrying an orange bag but she looked like a fashion blogger as everything about her outfit was right and everything about mine was a little pedestrian. She had great hair and sunglasses too.

Back from my Italian jaunt. I had a great time and have only put on one pound, despite all the pizza and tiramisu Probably all the walking we did.

I felt fairly well put together on holiday, but I had DD (21) with me and she is a fashionista so I had packed with her criticisms in mind ( we have an Eddie/Saffy type relationship) She has helped me put my hair up in something other than a ponytail (it was high thirties every day) so that made me feel almost sleek. The usual state of my hair is very Kate Humble which I am aware some people love and others think is a dreadful mess.

I made time to moisturise and used sun protection but have a light tan. Will add to this with more Dove tanner. Getting so sweaty has brought out a few spots but they have shrivelled away in the freezing bloody cold now I am back - central heating on anyone?

I am going away again on Monday to spend time with family who are Professional Drinkers so I am torn between thinking I may as well keep the holiday drinking going, and thinking I should treat my body as a temple for three days...

MM18 don't try to do too many things at once if you feel lost. Manicure and make up sounds like a great start. Maybe build on that when you feel ready by drinking more water/upgrading or starting skincare regime/getting highlights/what ever you feel will make you feel better about yourself.

Re hand cream - I swear by Neals Yard Bee Lovely which is a gorgeous consistency and smells divine. Not sure if you can get it in Australia. For UK based folk you can get it in larger M&S stores f you don't have a NY shop near you.It's £10 a tube but it really is good.

So that's enough from me - have a great weekend everyone.

It's £10 a tube

Totally agree about being kind to yourself while losing weight. India and Neris are great on this (their book is the Idiot Proof Diet).

I bought myself red roses tonight and I was thinking exactly that: I'm going to buy something cheering. Dh bought me flowers last week too, he is brilliant 🙂

Dd has agreed to wax my upper lip tomorrow, bit scared, never done it before. I'm going to get her to give me new gel nails too. And I bought lovely body butter today too.

Happy weekend everyone

Can I join please?

I need bringing up to date I am 41 and not at all trendy

I've been googling and I think I need

A jumpsuit
Some white trainers
A jacket of some sort

No idea where to shop though!

Morning all. We are off on holiday today to a place with no WiFi and poor reception so I may not be online for a while. I have filed my nails and will do a general defuzz in the shower. Hair done yesterday so I am holiday ready. I might paint my toe nails as well.

Thank you for the diet tips. teta I am going to follow 16.8 this week whilst away without any calorie counting. PollyflinderZ I will look at that thread and give that a go when I'm back. I think you're right about not being in the right place. It just seems insurmountable. It's a real psychological barrier. My mum is overweight so I just expect to be which is not a helpful way of thinking.

To those struggling to start, I found just getting one thing done has kicked off the process. I started with applying face cream daily and I now have a pretty good beauty routine. I'm not one for faffing about with too many things so have kept it simple. Shave legs a few days a week, daily body moisturiser, oil and hot cloth cleanse routine at night and daily spf moisturiser. I've also decided to tackle my autumn wardobe as it's fairly close. I have a Pinterest board for autumn and have just gone though websites of my favourite high street stores and pinned anything I like. I have also looked at some famous women for inspiration. My fave is Lauren Laverne. I ask myself if Lauren would wear it when I see something I like to keep me from the frumpy stuff . I am choosing stuff for the size I want to be but will then whittle it down to a capsule wardrobe suitable for my current size. I am thinking of a jacket, slim fit jeans, some smart trousers, a knee length skirt and some jumpers. I am a classic apple shape so need to draw attention to my legs from my middle. The dresses I hanker after will need t o wait until I have lost weight.

Welcome fortunatepiggy.
Where have you seen some nice jumpsuits.?
Water I always buy myself flowers too especially in spring and winter. I tend to pick our own flowers in summer.
Well done in solely gaining a pound happypoobum.
The thought of Pizza and Tiramisu is really making me hungry and it’s only 9.47 am.Cannot eat until lunchtime .........repeat indefinitely.
I can concur with the family of professional drinkers. Mine are too. In complete contrast to dh who doesn’t drink at all. It makes for an interesting clash of cultures.
I’ve been stalking the Monsoon website and ordering sale stock in medium that’s been returned .The sale is brilliant for summer clothes and jumpers. I bought the Eren costume and bikini earlier and have now ordered the trousers to match for my forthcoming holiday. Might end up returning them though as the shape looks a little strange.

Can I ask about sun cream? I've started putting it on routinely mainly due to the crazy sunshine we have had however after the recent rain I wasn't sure if I should put it on everyday regardless of weather? WDYD?

Thanks teta

Hurricane If there is SPF in your foundation then you probably don't need additional protection in "normal" Uk weather.

I was complemented on my dress last night by a random woman at dinner. Really made me smile 😁
However British woman (me included) look like they got dressed in the dark compared to the other nationalities here (fairly average AI hotel nowt fancy lol)

Why is that gingercat? What aren't we getting??

So far so good.

Hair cut & coloured
Manicure set bought. Trying v hard not to bite nails. Have painted them as encouragement.
Chucked out loads of saggy, baggy old stuff that makes me look mumsy.
Back in the size 12 jeans today. Progress.

I just bought some Evening Primrose Oil to help sort out my peeling off fingernails. I have to get 500mg as the usual 1000mg tablets are HUGE. Pharmacist agreed they should help.

It's an annoying side effect of a low fat diet, but to be honest it's the easiest diet I have ever done. If I low carb I find it very hard, and get rather stinky side effects

That's interesting, I have to eat low fat because I'm awaiting gallbladder surgery...my nails are awful.

I'll get some EPO!

whattimeislove My opinion only obvs but the other women are generally slimmer, wear clothes that fit, wear less big patterns and separates that go together, they turn up for daytime meals in little t shirt dresses or proper clothes not baggy beach cover-ups and they have great hair not damp rats tails from the pool
I had a fav green Phase Eight maxi on last night which I know really suits me so need to find more things that make me smile inside. I still have no idea where to go with that 😭

teta I fear that you are correct about no wine. Unfortunately or maybe not we're off to France next week so am almost certainly going to consume my own no insubstantial bodyweight in wine, cheese, bread and eclairs.... But, I am planning to turn over a new leaf on my return!

I agree with you gingercat.

I was in a shopping centre in France last week. My observations were that there were far fewer obese people (i’m overweight, it’s an observation not a judgement), the shops were the same but the women presented themselves differently. A wedge sandle as opposed to my flip flops. A piece of jewellery for day wear, as opposed to my silver hoops strictly for going out. Hair was brushed (mine scraped up on a pony tail and folded over - I can’t even call it a bun!)
I think the women I looked at simply took more time and care with themselves. I suspect it starts from a very young age and is passed down.

I remember my mum spending all afternoon washing her hair. I could never understand why she would make such a palaver out of it. It’s only now that I get it. She wouldn’t dream of going out without make up, always watched her weight and shopped for herself. I’m opposite in every way.

I came back and started to read up about middle age and self care, determined to prioritise doing my hair.

I also think less time on MN is part of the answer.

(I am currently sat here in my PJs having spent the morning doing jobs, so it’s not going brilliantly 😄)

Ooohhh, I'm going to make a point of observing and then hopefully copying French behaviour....whilst glugging my wine and looking like a sloven.

That was my strategy HoundsOfLove. Observe, indulge, come home, sit on my arse and look for books on Amazon on how to look more continental 🤣