Crepey coalition of chaos

[herbaceous]

Roll up hags, for all things Hotter.

I have my student loan from my PGCE, and it is gaining interest at an alarming rate. But I'm not yet earning enough for it to be taken out my wages. To be frank, I don't really understand it, and have made no effort to. I'm hoping it just goes away.

Sorry your so down Crem. You are the very epitome of KBO, but you should ask for help if you need it. Trip to GP sounds a good plan. Do you have good friends nearby?

Congrats, MM, and very sorry Crem, Herbs and Airborne.

Marry him, Herbs. That'll teach him.

Hope it goes well tomorrow Airborne.

It has dawned on me that me and my family are off to Menorca for a week on Saturday. Anyone have suggestions? We intend to swim, walk, read, eat and drink. And, emulating Stropps, I intend to try paddle boarding.

A lot going on here, not much of it happy. I'm so sorry Crepeys who are feeling unloved, unappreciated and confused. All I can do is add my voice to the reminder to vent on here. Defensive DH/DPs seem to abound. Somehow they have never learned to take criticism yet women have to shoulder so much not feeling good enough, and picking ourselves up after being rubbished by people and life in general. I wonder if one of the reasons for the lack of demonstrable empathy from these men is because they have wrapped themselves in cotton wool so much so as never to face criticism, they now can't feel any bloody thing. So they don't think we do either.

I don't think they'll change so we either LTBs, put up and shut up or as I do (and I'm not proud of this) put up but give him a bloody hard time...

Hatty MM my DS1 is still paying if his loan at 29. He complains little about it....seems resigned. DH seems to think if one can pay it off it might be better to still put the money towards a downpayment on a first home instead...

Crem I wonder...do you think one of your mess or an interaction between them is affecting your mood? The doc seems a good move 💐💐

S&B....at last Landsend has reduced that turquoise swim
suit I was after..£40 quid off and free delivery. So I have ordered. 😁

Classic conversation with my dh this weekend, sort of vaguely related to your point, Rosen:
Me: I wonder if......(long complicated saga about whether I have put my foot in it with someone)
DH: Well, talking about it won't help - if you have, you have
Me: talking about it will help ME
DH. Oh. I see. (peers anxiously around in hope of salvation)

I think your dh may be right Rosen - housing costs are the massive issue for so many of them, during degree and after.

And hurrah on swimsuit - it was a thing of loveliness!

Land's End bootcut and slim workout pants are half price and are fabulous - last for ever, don't shift even when you are upside down, good weight and temp, seemly f worn out and about.

A big hug to all who need it. Sorry so many are feeling pants at the minute.
I am just overwhelmed and have little headspace. DP is on asteroids diet (much needed) and I am still on dog sitting hunt, or I'm here whilst the boys jet off to Naxos...

A serious.... Although I am wondering what an asteroids diet would be? Lots of milky ways?

WTF is the asteroids diet?!

So sorry for those of us feeling crap or with crap happening to them.

I have a pair of Lands End cropped gym Capri type leggings. Loose ones. They're v good. I may go in search of them in their sale.

I had an apology by 0800 this morning for - what I deemed to be appalling behaviour- but was classed as 'Sorry I got a bit cross'. I must appreciate the apology as they are rare things that head my way in this marriage. However I felt really out of sorts for most of the day, and quite tearful.

I did, however, hook up with a new group of sewing ladies ( The Material Girls) in the village. I occasionally go to their monthly sewing day , but normally only manage a few hours. They're mostly into patchwork,but tolerate my pattern making and General hung ho approach to clothes sewing . They're all much older than me, but are a great source of village gossip.

It was their Sumer tea party, so we sat in a summer house with yummy home made cakes and tea in China cups.

They organise outings and I'm off to Charlton this Friday with them. Lille is next on their agenda in October, but I'm not going. They'd all be in bed by 10.00. That's no city break :)

MrsM - that could have been a conversation in our house - I do wonder if men are just wired that way and are unable to process in the way we (women)require/need them to. Also, going back to Airborne's situation - I think many men have been spoilt by their mothers so think they are rather more wonderful than they actually are. Was very conscious of this when DS was born and MiL immediately started going on about how he was the DS my DH had always wanted!!!! Gave her a good telling off but I can see how she spoilt DH in relation to his sisters. DH even recognises this.

Rose - so glad you got lovely swimsuit - hurrah for small victories.

Airborne - cautious hurrah- he's never going to admit the full extent of his idiocy is he (see paragraph 1). I would love to be able to sew clothes by the way.

DH has had enough of London and wants to move out. I suspect he is just tired of living in a hovel - which is his own fault. Man comes next week to start on hall, our bedroom and our bathroom. I am hoping that DH is going to pay for this out of his savings and not expect me to fund it or take out a bank loan.

You are 'hoping', Mrs S? As the hovel is entirely his fault, I would lay that on the line. Says I, the wettest lettuce on MN.

I have an additional theory about DP - he is both the only son, and the youngest, so I suspect had his feelings indulged by his mum something chronic. He's something of a snowflake, and seems to feel his feelings are more important and pwecious than anyone else's. Eg criticising me, but I'm not allowed to criticise him or an almighty sulk takes place. Thinking I should thank him for working, cleaning, etc, whereas I don't warrant such treatment.

Just give him the bill, Mrs S.

DH is pretty good about sharing the domestic load BUT he will always tell me what he has done; 'I've emptied the dishwasher' etc. If he is looking for thanks he doesn't get them.

For all of you in need of some cheer have a read of THIS thread.

Very funny & with an amazing twist in it by this morning.

Magi, I read that thread.how amazing!

Airbourne good for you lowering the average age of the patchworker gang. Yes, I think Lille might be a step to the dark side.

Feeling a bit better after a nights sleep. I cannot describe how rubbish it is battling the weight gain against all the pills I take which make me tired. I have none of the electric energy I used to have left that always helped me battle on. And I don't know what to do. GP appointment is all I can think of.
Memory loss is now so bad I am struggling to keep up with things. Just woolly headed all the time.
Dh not really getting it at all.

Crem I'd bet the farm that the meds are part of the problem.

Crem - doesn't sound good - agree with MI - sounds like the meds clouding your brain.

Crem, it sounds miserable. Hope you have a GP appointment soon.

(Another vote for meds = brain fog)

GP, Crem! It may well be your medication.

In S & B news, I have bought 2 jumpers and a top in Monsoon. 70% off, so got the lot for £30.

Drat, Crem: that sounds dreadful. Do you take statins, by any chance? DH started taking them after having had the stents fitted. His cholesterol was already good, but they wanted it below 4. He just got gradually worse until I was convinced he had early onset dementia (plus all sorts of aches and pains). At Christmas he went for a blood test which came back that his level was 3.1, so he unilaterally decided to halve his dosage of the statins. His levels went up slightly to 3.4, so after talking to his doctor that's where he is now. However the important thing is that his mind is now clear and he is back to normal.

Had two DGC for the day and we have been to the railway museum at Shildon again; great fun but I am shattered.

Oh Cremo Please go and see the GP - it sounds like there is no joined-up tjinking for you on your meds

Oh Cremo thinking of you :(

Yup. Another vote for a trip to see the GP Crem.

I have had an afternoon of self help, and can recommend bawling your eyes out talking to someone.

No Lands End gym stuff for me. Left it too late. I did, however get a couple of cashmere V necks in their sale a few weeks back. A navy and a turquoise one, both with a fine moss stitch. T'will be good for college.

Hey MrsS - are you sticking to office attire when you downgrade (temporarily) to student status, or what? I can't decide, although my workwear wardrobe is tres capsule in size, so the student look wins. Better dump my Joules kit!

No, I am planning on jeans and gym kit. I am going to use the time to do something about my fitness levels and my weight.

I can't work out what 'clothing level' I'm going in at!

I've just paid the remainder of the money for the course. Logged into their student portals to see jobs and internships advertised. Wahoo! They all sounded fab and very exciting. I'm sure my rose tinted specs will fall off soon.

In completely different news, I have a local dilemma... Wondering what the Crepey Collective think - would welcome your thoughts.

Sorry - bit long

A lady in our village use to come and clean once a week. She was in her early 70s when she came. I'll call her Lovely Elderly Lady - LEL. She's been brilliant, and really defensive ( or should I say supportive) of our family. DS is a bit of a stand in grandson, and she spoils him with chocolate etc. She used to babysit him, too. It all worked really well.

She's widowed, with 2 sons. One is estranged, and the other lives in the far end of the Country. He has 2 boys, and is divorced. She has v little contact with any of them. Her SIL who is around locally promised her brother on his deathbed that she'd look after LEL, so there is a thread of care, but that extends to a visit maybe once a month. I think LEL can be a tricky person to deal with, to be honest.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago, and she started to struggle. Couldn't bend down, and eyesight problems. Cleaning became rather hit and miss. I had to make a decision to get someone else in to clean, but LEL needed the money. I said 'why don't you come and iron instead?' And so that worked really well for us and her. Paid her well over the going rate, but she's been so good to us. Made sure I was around so we could sit and have coffee and a good chat. I know it was the highlight of her week. She's v lonely, by her own admission.

Recently, things have gone downhill for her. She's losing the plot, and getting herself into a real muddle. Before we went away, I rang SIL and explained that I wasn't going to be around and that she needed to step in. LDL was confused. I know SIL went round the day we left, but I don't think has been back in since.

I rand LDL yesterday,and she sounded almost drunk. Said she was off to the docs for blood and thyroid tests. TBH, I'm not sure she should have been driving herself, but I had no time available to take her. Things are all just sliding south, and I'm not sure what to do. There is a dog in the mix, that's being over fed and not exercised. It's an awful, untrained, yappy Terrier who is obviously loved to the moon and back, but I'm concerned about its welfare, too. (And no, not in a month of Sunday's would I take this dog on)

I think family just think I'm going to be around to pick up pieces and I can't and won't be able to do it. I've told SIL as much, before I went away, but judging by what I've come back to, the family don't appear to have stepped up.

I'm trying to concentrate on myself, and my own DM. I've had enough crap to deal with over the last few years. I love LDL dearly, but have reached a point where I'm having to draw a line.

What can I do, Crepeys?