Crepeys who try not to look like creepy clowns....

[BeachysSandyFlipFlops]

Would that be OK?

Must try to avoid a thread switch on a Friday night

I'm upset by Poldark tonight, but I'm more upset watching Pink Floyds beginnings (1967 to 1972), because, as a music teacher might say, I can't really see any promise!

Last nights music doc on Genesis had us both up after midnight!

As you were.......

Also at the deer - the very ideer..........

MI if you can work out how to have that convo please let me know....

Hope everyone has a lovely HT. Here I had ds crying about the trip as he doesn't want to go for a host of reasons......

Cocoa at cost of the second nursing home - more than double my DM's. Could it be afforded/would you think it was worth the cost/are there any other possibilities?
And yes, I think it is both the institutionalisation and general deterioration - hard to know which is which

I am feeling rather guilty that we have had to abandon our trip to see DM due to DS, but he has to come first - she is being looked after.

BTM, in all awful frankness I think DM won't grasp it. Please ring me if you need anything from me too.

BD, I tried telling him and the thing is I don't think it gets through to him quite how end-of-tether I am. He says "I'm sorry" and tries to make constructive suggestions but what I could do with is "Right, I'll come home early and cook dinner", whereas I know he will be back at 8.30 tonight having said feebly he'd "try" to be back on time.

The other thing that is driving me bonkers is the admin, which will be tediously familiar to all Crepeys, I suspect. DP will go with DD1 to sixth form evenings "if he can", but I am the one finding out when they are - in fact he didn't even know they exist because, frankly, he couldn't be arsed to find out. Then if I tell him when they are I get a barrage of "I don't have my work diary". He will have forgotten we are - very unusually - invited out to dinner together on Friday and he will grumble about having to get there for 6.30 to see the baby twins who are part of the reason for going. Needless to say he hasn't bought a present for the babies either. I will sort this - can someone suggest a present I can just order online? Something cute but affordable? - because I love the friend who has the

Contd/

...the friend who has the babies.

But this stuff clutters my brain up. If I go away, things tick over OK but when I am here it all just rumbles along.

He'd forgotten it was half term too.

MI - How about one of these and its twin

PFGD has the elephant & loved it.

MI, I so get you. I do all that stuff (and fair enough, in our case, that is how we have divided labour, no beef there) BUT when I had no internet recently I had objective proof of how much of all this there was because I was regularly going to cafes just to do admin/family/organising/house things, never mind actual paid work. And my mind got incredibly jangled and muddled because there were all these half done things.Made it much harder to focus.

BTM, absolutely, no two ways about it, ds comes first and there can't be a compromise on that, so try not to feel bad.

Cocoa - wow that is expensive..... My dmums was easily half that, and the place wasn't too bad. (and fully furnished)

BTM - yes yes ds first, dmum when you can...

MI - I could have written that post. I cried yesterday and dp did pick up the baton re dinner (even if it was courtesy of M&S) but guess who dealt with crying child and will be dealing with packing...and he says 'tell me to hoover and I will'.... ahh yes, but that's the bloody point, I don't want to have to tell you - I just want you to see the floor is covered in rubbish and do it....

MI, I totally get it too

Being a teacher, I tend to go into Infant Teacher mode and just tell DH what to do/make him watch so he knows, etc. And I text him any dates, etc that concern him so that when he says I haven't told him, I have evidence! And yes, BD, DH does stuff if I tell ask him or if it's on his "regular jobs" but he doesn't really think out of the box. How he manages his Very Important Job, I don't know. Oh hang on, he has a PA who is..... yes, a woman!

And like Lalsy, we have divided our responsibilities up so it mostly goes OK - I do all that sort of stuff and he handles all the money stuff, for example. But it is wearing at times, to say the least.

Yes, DM will not grasp it. Can't face ringing, but I will ring today if I can think of what to say.

As an aside, an online family calendar has changed our lives. I know I keep saying this but it has so reduced arguments, chaos, boring conversations and frustration as well as obvious organisational benefits. And REALLY helps with jelly nailing because the dc always have their phones with them and it has exact times and addresses etc in usually.

Bfffff.... I have a hangover, which will come as no surprise to anyone.

I promised to take DS on a 'London tour' around many different tubes, trains and trams of his choosing. I have been putting this off for months. Sigh.

DP is v good at some house stuff, yet crap at others. He is obsessed with kitchen cleanliness, and is constantly at the floor with his steam mop, but won't touch the bathroom however rank it gets. He'll hoover, but not in the corners. And he never dusts. So, swings and roundabouts.

In 'bowel' news, I have ordered some kefir grains, as commanded by my osteopath. Apparently they're all the rage with the gut flora brigade.

BTM - exactly how I manage DH! He needs to be allocated duties and then he is quite happy to do them. He has never, however, been very good at getting home on time for parents evenings etc. He does however sort paying bills, taxes etc, and anything that requires a power drill! Maybe we all need a PA .

What would annoy me chez MI is the tai chi prioritising plus built in holidays.

Coca - at price of home - that is the price of a nice hotel. How can people pay that over several years?

Beachy - thought Poldark was limit rapey - and poor Demelza. I don't remember all these shenanigans in the old version - but it was probably dealt with differently in the seventies.

Those rattles are IDEAL, thank you!

It's difficult with the t'ai chi because it has been a huge part of his life for decades, long before he met me. It's where a lot of his friends are and his history. I don't, for a number of reasons, feel I can object too loudly to it. But it does mean we see each other even less - and/or have reasons for seeing each other even less - than we normally would. It's not that I mind, but that in itself is a bit possibly worrying.

DH doesn't do Tai Chi but has another even more embarrassing hobby which takes him away regularly at certain times of the year. Inspite of the hobby there's a lot of drinking and socialising involved. I never minded...really I didn't, until I felt that I had lost the balance in my life and things became weighted towards me holding the baby and being the buck stop always. DH is good at dates though...better than me

tilly DS of course. Doesn't make it any easier to be so torn.

Another allocator here. But usually performed in the style of ' Teething Toddler, crying for toilet'
Dh has never noticed a speck of dirt in his life.
MI if only they would just 'notice' without being given notice. I have to say that without dd and other peoples teenagers cluttering up the house, life gets less demanding in this respect. I have become accustomed to living in disorganised a slum. Even Christmas is a complete surprise to dh every year.

CV on S&b
Stropps have toes crossed for dds re entry.

Have discovered a job I can do lying down :painting skirting boards. Hooray.

Oh and Rose, I wouldn't worry about your dh having one embarrassing hobby. As most Crepeys know my dh takes the crown for a whole array of embarrassing hobbies plus accoutrements cupboards and cupboards of accoutrements.

Am I the only one who is now wondering if these hobbies are Morris Dancing?

DH is pretty good round the house but there's always a bit of the job left unfinished - so if he moves chairs to hoover he won't put them back.

He always cleans the showerr but never the soap rack/basket. But (he's been doing everything due to my dizziness) I noticed this am that he had cleaned it. Probably because he knows I can't atm. He does cook but never thinks of what to cook.

I've just realised the twins are 10 months old! Do they still play with rattles at that age (I'm sure mine did)...?

I have been sent a hilarious form to fill in for an Indian magazine I did a review for. I have sent it back pointing out that I have absolutely no idea what it's on about. It's for £100, which frankly they could send in a brown envelope if they had to!

I think they will be fine for that age. PFGD is now 16 months & still plays with hers. (When she's not reading Proust ).

this store has great stuff MI, but what Magi has proposed might go down better.

DF spent a few weeks in respite care, in a place that DM chose... because so and so's husband was there a few years ago

It was an awful, awful time; the CQC report (had I thought to look) showed up a number of problems that clearly had not been addressed since the report was written. DF was not happy and refused to cooperate, which made things worse.

So we have learnt a LOT since then, and as its only for a few months, we want the best for him. However, the search continues with DM visiting 2 more today. With my words "I don't care if someones husband was there 2 years ago, put your logical hat on and see the place as it really is... and oh, take a look at the CQC reports while you're about it"

Many Thanks Magi for your PM.

I have to say DD1 lay under her babygym gazing happily into space for months. She's always been a bit hello-flowers-hello-trees

dont go completely on CQC reports - bit like OFSTED dont always show full picture... we were lucky - DBro knows someone high up in social services...

Just passing through Land of the South London Crepeys - just left east dulwich...