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Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding

230 replies

Somerville · 08/10/2016 21:33

I'm getting married early next year. It's my second marriage (I'm widowed) and my fiancé's first.

Between my father in his uniform (retired from armed forces), my DD's in huge, meringue-style tulle and sequin bridesmaid dresses, and my gorgeous and very tall fiancé in his morning suit, I don't want to let the side down. Smile But neither do I feel it would be right to wear a traditional white wedding dress again. And certainly no veil.

I spent a few weeks designing a dress with a friend who is a (professional) dressmaker and we came up with a plan for a long, silk bias cut dove-grey dress with a cape back. But my sister has put me off it by saying I'd look like a nun, and my friend has a lot of work on and if I want to commission anything else I'd need to confirm it with her quickly. However she has pencilled in time to do alterations to something off the peg, which feels more sensible at this stage.

So I'm looking for long dresses that are silver or blush pink. I want at least a short sleeve and certainly not strapless.

We're getting married in a church and having our reception in a rather grand library. I'm just turning 40, 5'6 and size 10 but big norks and broad shouldered so sometimes have to size up if it's high necked and tight across the top. I'm short waisted (if I put on weight I'm an apple) but slim hips/long legs. Pouffey skirts don't look as good on me as slim-fitting skirts. Oh and we're TTC so I don't want something super tight across the waist just in case. Smile

I've budgeted up to a thousand pounds but I'd rather spend as little as possible less. If I couldn't get something at that budget I could increase it but I'd rather not.

I've ordered a returned a few things that were too shiny or a weird shape. And I've pounded the pavements at a designer outlet village this afternoon. I tried on a gorgeous fuschia and cream Temperley dress that I loved but it didn't feel bridal somehow.

Any ideas gratefully received.

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Somerville · 15/10/2016 19:19

Those are really lush, thanks.

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RosieSW · 16/10/2016 05:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herethereandeverywhere · 16/10/2016 10:17

I was idly browsing Matchesfashion and happened upon this:

McQueen

So elegant and great shape.

Somerville · 16/10/2016 14:17

Gosh that is so elegant, thanks.

Here is something else I think you'll like, Rosie. It's been on my mind that when we invited BIL's family (DH's brother) to the wedding I told them that I wouldn't be wearing white, and SIL said 'that sounds appropriate'. I realised that she probably said that to be supportive, rather than that it would be inappropriate to do otherwise, but wanted to check/give them a heads up. So phoned last night. They were so nice about it that it made me cry (in a good way).

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Scoose · 16/10/2016 18:44

has this one been linked? It's lovely!

Pantsalive · 16/10/2016 21:47

That's beautiful Scoose

MamehaSan · 16/10/2016 22:48

Eeek, congratulations on your engagement, Somer! I lurked on your original thread and am so pleased how things have turned out for you, I wish you and Lovely every happiness.

Now that you've widened your search to more weddingy wedding dresses, I wondered if any of these float your boat? I wore a Victoria Jane dress for my wedding and it was fab. My brief was slinky and not a meringue! Mine looked slinky on the outside but had a deceptive amount of hidden corsetry, so may not be ideal if there's a bump to accommodate though... Some ideas, anyway:

www.ronaldjoyce.com/en/collections/victoria-jane/18053#.WAPzKGXTXMI

www.ronaldjoyce.com/en/collections/victoria-jane/18057#.WAPzWGXTXMI

www.ronaldjoyce.com/en/collections/victoria-jane/18017#.WAPzxGXTXMI

Somerville · 17/10/2016 08:13

Scoose That hadn't been linked before and is really nice (as well as 50% reduction!) But they don't have my size in stock. I've bookmarked it and will keep an eye out for returns.

Mamahasan
Those are beautiful; I especially like the first one. And thanks v much for the congrats. Smile There won't be a bump as such - wedding too soon for that now (and unlikely anyway, TBH) but yes I don't want something where I'm totally trussed up in boning that can't easily be loosened, just in case.

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Somerville · 18/10/2016 15:36

Y'know how I wanted something grey and simple?
Then white and simple?
Well today I tried on a sample sale Claire Pettibone dress that is anything BUT simple and loved it Grin Blush
It's well over budget (though more than 50% off new price) which is just as well or if have bought it then and there.
I'm thinking about buying it anyway

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DaisyBD · 18/10/2016 16:28

Buy it anyway. Or if not, the Temperley with the cape.

(I love a wedding dress thread.)

YouCanShoveYourOtherGranny · 18/10/2016 19:32

buy the Claire Pettibone! it is so exciting that you have moved from where you started to something so completely different - can't wait to see pics!

Scoose · 18/10/2016 20:20

I neeedddd to see the dress you tried on can you find it online?

ShowMeTheElf · 19/10/2016 10:04
Grin So not too simple, sleeved or under 1K then. hoots! If you love it, can afford it, buy it.
Somerville · 19/10/2016 11:20

In my defence, it has sleeves!!

But nowhere near simple or under 1k.

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RosieSW · 20/10/2016 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herethereandeverywhere · 20/10/2016 17:46

Just looked at the Claire Pettibone website - her style looks perfect for the look you've been describing! (well maybe the fancier end of the look that all your favourite MNers have been encouraging you to go to Grin)

Can't wait to hear your next steps!

bookbook · 21/10/2016 13:56

Just seen this again - so a falling in love moment! I bet it is wonderful :)

Somerville · 25/10/2016 23:16

I've given up on finding something cheaper that I like as much and bought the Claire Pettibone!

I'm still ordering and returning silver dresses to keep up the subterfuge though. Before anyone accuses me of being mean - not only will he not tell me where we're going on honeymoon, but he's had brochures delivered about Iceland, Australia and cycling in Wales in the past week. Hmm

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ShowMeTheElf · 26/10/2016 09:07

Cycling in Wales? Nice....will you wear your Claire Pettibone as you go on the back of the tandem, just to get best value ?

So glad that you found something you loved and threw caution to the wind OP. You will blow his socks off!

Somerville · 26/10/2016 09:54

Aww, thanks. Smile. I hope so - I will try. Smile

Most of the brochures have amused me, but cycling in Welsh Mountains had me worried for a second; he loves cycling! But he couldn't even stay straightfaced about it being an option, thankfully.

I'm better at this subterfuge lark

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herethereandeverywhere · 26/10/2016 10:03

Just got goosebumps (definitely induced by Claire Pettibone and not cycling in Wales Grin )

I've forgotten when the big day is! Is there much more to do in the way of planning? Are we still having a MN 'hats online party' for you?

YouCanShoveYourOtherGranny · 26/10/2016 19:49

oh I am so very happy you did it, good for you Somerville!

Can't wait to see pics. Yes, we should have that online party. I know just the hat I shall wear - but no peeking before the day!

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 06/11/2016 23:19

Hi OP. I've been reading various of your threads over the last couple of days having first picked up the AIBU about uninviting someone from your wedding.

Really not sure where to set my two thoughts down and this may well not be the appropriate board but here goes! Just wanted to say first that as a bereaved sister I was not just ok with my sister's DP being in a new long term relationship but actively pleased and in a funny way relieved! Very best wishes to you.

Second, I didn't realise until earlier on this thread that Somerville was a Dorothy Dunnett reference. I have adored FC of L&S since i first read it all in my teens and hardly ever come across others that know it. I now have the warm glow that comes with the knowledge of shared appreciation of a beautiful thing!

YonicProbe · 07/11/2016 22:02

Ymmm dresses

Somerville · 07/11/2016 22:05

Thanks mrsmalcolmreynolds. I'm sorry you lost your sister. And I'm glad you derived comfort from her partner finding love again. Flowers

I'm a fellow Firefly fan too. Hey, if you love Dunnett and Firefly I can't imagine how you couldn't love Lois McMaster's Bujold sci-if series about Miles Vorgosigan, if you haven't discovered them already.

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