Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding

[Somerville]

I'm getting married early next year. It's my second marriage (I'm widowed) and my fiancé's first.

Between my father in his uniform (retired from armed forces), my DD's in huge, meringue-style tulle and sequin bridesmaid dresses, and my gorgeous and very tall fiancé in his morning suit, I don't want to let the side down. But neither do I feel it would be right to wear a traditional white wedding dress again. And certainly no veil.

I spent a few weeks designing a dress with a friend who is a (professional) dressmaker and we came up with a plan for a long, silk bias cut dove-grey dress with a cape back. But my sister has put me off it by saying I'd look like a nun, and my friend has a lot of work on and if I want to commission anything else I'd need to confirm it with her quickly. However she has pencilled in time to do alterations to something off the peg, which feels more sensible at this stage.

So I'm looking for long dresses that are silver or blush pink. I want at least a short sleeve and certainly not strapless.

We're getting married in a church and having our reception in a rather grand library. I'm just turning 40, 5'6 and size 10 but big norks and broad shouldered so sometimes have to size up if it's high necked and tight across the top. I'm short waisted (if I put on weight I'm an apple) but slim hips/long legs. Pouffey skirts don't look as good on me as slim-fitting skirts. Oh and we're TTC so I don't want something super tight across the waist just in case.

I've budgeted up to a thousand pounds but I'd rather spend as little as possible less. If I couldn't get something at that budget I could increase it but I'd rather not.

I've ordered a returned a few things that were too shiny or a weird shape. And I've pounded the pavements at a designer outlet village this afternoon. I tried on a gorgeous fuschia and cream Temperley dress that I loved but it didn't feel bridal somehow.

Any ideas gratefully received.

Ooh more capes. And WTF do I like capes all of a sudden?!

I just texted my fiancé 'getting weirdly obsessed with getting hitched in a cape.'

He replied 'Just a cape? Or is this a supergirl cos-play thing?'

Watching. It's get married in less than three months and still don't have a dress!!!

If you want to look like Supergirl or a sack of potatoes you're in the right place.

We both had capes, churches in mid winter can be very cold and my DH seemed to enjoy the dramatic effect.

over budget but so pretty

not shiny, not traditionally white, not a summery pink and more regal than nun-like...

If you're wearing duck egg blue, the one below is beautiful, you could team it with this m.johnlewis.com/somerset-by-alice-temperley-leather-biker-jacket/p/2885066

Have a look at BHLDN:
weddingy but not meringue
stunning pink

I finalised that I want the colour that is less traditional than white, more wintry than pink, less shiny than silver and less nun-like (thanks DSIS hmm) than grey. I have yet to identify a name for this colour. grin
pale blue or lilac. I'll keep looking.

Cuccinelli

midnight blue silk Lanvin

gilded embellishedvTemperley

I finalised that I want the colour that is less traditional than white, more wintry than pink, less shiny than silver and less nun-like (thanks DSIS hmm) than grey. I have yet to identify a name for this colour.

How far from white do you want to go: there's been nothing deep/wintery on your list yet: deep red velvet cape over pale dress? Dark coloured dress? Are you set on silk or satin or would you consider lace or velvet as it's a winter wedding?

over budget but seeing the Temperley above made me think of it embroidered

In the time my school-run took, this thread went from Supergirl to his and hers capes, to Camilla Parker Bowles and back to Temperley, where it began.

I will try to answer all salient points. Disclaimer: I'm starting to go loopy from lack of sleep and dress confusion.

Don't fancy duck egg blue but that dress looks more like ice-blue which could be a go-er, Rosie.

herecomesthesun you both had capes?! I love it!! Did they match? What kind of mannish cape would match a morning suit?

Scoose that pink one is lush. I need the loan adverts!

Beachy I wish I were cool enough to get away with a biker jacket on my wedding day but I'm definitely not.

show Not lilac. Too widow-y. Nor black or dark colours - same reason. Not red because it doesn't suit me. Definitely up for lace. Possibly velvet. I can't picture a velvet dress that would suit me, but I'm sure there's one out there somewhere.

And I LOVE that second BLHDN dress but it seems quite summery to me, with the flowers.

Stop press!

My fiancé's response to the sheet of wedding dress inspiration (the 6 dresses I've liked the most on this thread - a few silvery a few pink, one icy blue and one taupe) was....
"Not one of them is white?"
He then said lots of 'you'll look beautiful in any of them' type comments but that was him being kind.
His initial, honest thought was why isn't she wearing white?

I'm going to book in some appointments with any bridal boutiques with spaces. And, erm, apologies for all the time spent linking various coloured dresses.

Hope the other brides on this thread get some inspiration.

OK, white then.

But sort of slinky, possibly beaded/embroidered/embellished.

Definitely white, and yy to slinky. Kind of mermaid shape? Either silk/satin or a silk crepe and possibly a cape or beaded or lace.
No tulle.
Nothing flouncy.
Not strapless - want to wear a proper bra.
Ideally still at least cap sleeves, if not long sleeves.
Not too low cut.

gorgeous!

Ooh you're all still talking to me.

I'm thinking something like the dress Pippa wore when she was BM to Wills & Kate.

See! There are replicas

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3621663/Now-wear-Pippa-Middleton-s-bridesmaid-s-dress.html

Sorry for DM link but needs must

Argh just saw the no tulle rule