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Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding

230 replies

Somerville · 08/10/2016 21:33

I'm getting married early next year. It's my second marriage (I'm widowed) and my fiancé's first.

Between my father in his uniform (retired from armed forces), my DD's in huge, meringue-style tulle and sequin bridesmaid dresses, and my gorgeous and very tall fiancé in his morning suit, I don't want to let the side down. Smile But neither do I feel it would be right to wear a traditional white wedding dress again. And certainly no veil.

I spent a few weeks designing a dress with a friend who is a (professional) dressmaker and we came up with a plan for a long, silk bias cut dove-grey dress with a cape back. But my sister has put me off it by saying I'd look like a nun, and my friend has a lot of work on and if I want to commission anything else I'd need to confirm it with her quickly. However she has pencilled in time to do alterations to something off the peg, which feels more sensible at this stage.

So I'm looking for long dresses that are silver or blush pink. I want at least a short sleeve and certainly not strapless.

We're getting married in a church and having our reception in a rather grand library. I'm just turning 40, 5'6 and size 10 but big norks and broad shouldered so sometimes have to size up if it's high necked and tight across the top. I'm short waisted (if I put on weight I'm an apple) but slim hips/long legs. Pouffey skirts don't look as good on me as slim-fitting skirts. Oh and we're TTC so I don't want something super tight across the waist just in case. Smile

I've budgeted up to a thousand pounds but I'd rather spend as little as possible less. If I couldn't get something at that budget I could increase it but I'd rather not.

I've ordered a returned a few things that were too shiny or a weird shape. And I've pounded the pavements at a designer outlet village this afternoon. I tried on a gorgeous fuschia and cream Temperley dress that I loved but it didn't feel bridal somehow.

Any ideas gratefully received.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Somerville · 10/10/2016 20:43

Ooh yes plan an anniversary party.

Love and marriage should be celebrated often.

OP posts:
bookbook · 10/10/2016 20:50

well, if back to white, I'll show you a couple I eyed up
Ben de Lisi
and
maybe a bit of a special bra
totally plain

RosieSW · 10/10/2016 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RosieSW · 10/10/2016 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoreOfWhabylon · 10/10/2016 22:14

The Talbot Runhof in bookbook's second link is just gorgeous and it will suit my image of Somerville perfectly.

Buyitbuyitbuyit

Oldraver · 10/10/2016 23:38

I'm loving looking at all the gorgeous dresses.

Not that I would get married again but if I did, then I have fallen for one of the Claire Pettibone ones, Maia..

OlennasWimple · 11/10/2016 00:05

That Talbot Runhof plain dress is gorgeous, but perhaps not for someone with boobs?

herecomesthsun · 11/10/2016 06:41

marchesa 1

marchesa 2

cape effect

Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Somerville · 11/10/2016 09:16

Ah so many lovely dresses - thank you all. Flowers

I'm not going to order anything until I've tried on a lot of samples and have got a clearer idea of what I want. There's just so much choice.

My sister is making appointments in various places for me.

I stopped off for a big pile of bridal magazines on the home home from school run

Someone asked about shoes, hair etc.

I like shoes and have both nude and silver high heels already. If neither of those will do I might do what seems fashionable according to these magazines and get a brightly coloured pair in a colour that matches my flowers or something.

Hair... no clue.

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 11/10/2016 10:25

Capes can definitely be fabulous and not nun like - we renewed our vows recently and I had a dress with a detachable cape. It was made for me I'm afraid so cant link, but it was made from tulle and heavily embellished. Provided some upper arm coverage, and a train, held its shape well without being heavy ...I wore a plain silk crepe dress under it. Maybe your dressmaker would be able to do some sort of cover up like a Cape or coat that you could wear with a simple long dress? Wouldn't be as time consuming as making the actual dress...

Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Pantsalive · 11/10/2016 11:10

I know we have moved onto white but I love this dress that margiebargie posted earlier.

Statistcally your cape is gorgeous! Congratulations on renewing your vows.

ShowMeTheElf · 11/10/2016 11:24

Not tulle. no tight waste, not too shiny, bit of a sleeve, slim skirt, bit of lace, some not too shiny beading.
In new colourway (white(ish)). In sale. I solemnly swear that I do not work for BHLDN.
tick

Somerville · 11/10/2016 11:55

Those are both really nice.

I think my problem might become too much choice. Grin

I've been browsing Temperley bridal collections.

cape
embellished

Clearly these are neither affordable nor readily available. But I've got to get ideas for what I'd love if money and time were no object, right?!

OP posts:
NannyW · 11/10/2016 12:22

Did not realise there was 8 pages to this thread Blush sorry if these have been suggested or would not be suitable because of things you’ve said on previous posts!

herethereandeverywhere · 11/10/2016 12:41

Love the one showmetheElf just posted

bookbook · 11/10/2016 22:19

In truth , you are right. You need to try on lots of different styles.
When my DD got married , she tried on loads - all the ones she had hankered after - some nicer on than others. She then went and tried on something she had really not considered, just because it was there in a sample. And fell in love.- It was her dress. It was sooooo different to what she thought she was looking for!

gettingtherequickly · 11/10/2016 23:01

Agree showmetheelf has your perfect dress Smile

Somerville · 13/10/2016 10:09

Little update, the Raishma dress that Scoose suggested early on has arrived.
My plans have changed since then of course but thought I'd try it on and reply back as I know there are some other non-white-dress brides on here.

The colour is beautiful and manages to be more silver than grey without being shiny. The beading is beautiful and I like the fit and shape from waist downwards. However for me it was too tight over the chest, and although I could go up a size, it would then need considerable adjustments over the hips. And it's just too high necked for me, I realise. Especially with the little frill, and the big shoulders.

Off to a bridal boutique with dsis this afternoon. Just a local one so not sure how much choice they'll have. We've got appointments booked in with places further afield over the next few weeks. Including one that has a lot of Packham and Temperley samples and ore loved in stock... I'll empty my piggy bank before I go there. Smile

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MakeJam · 13/10/2016 10:48

Loving the cape the Temperly one up thread

What about this? Luna It's got nice draping over the stomach in case you are up-duffed by then. You could have a little fur cape if its cold.

Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Somerville · 13/10/2016 10:52

Oooh I really like that. I want white/ivory/cream now but that kind of style is top of my list to try on.

OP posts:
RosieSW · 15/10/2016 02:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Somerville · 15/10/2016 10:33

Oh sorry, Rosie my dear, I missed that before. 'Tis lovely in many of the different colour lines and it is the kind of shape that suits me.

I certainly hope it is Lovely's only wedding - what a nice way of thinking about it. (If anything happens to me I'd like him to find love again though.)

How sweet your friend's weddings was. They sound like such a sweet family. My son is doing a reading in our ceremony and DD2 wants to sing a song while we sign the register. Lovely told her she could before checking with me... our poor guests. 😂 DD1 is unsure about doing anything up the front but is making a film with her younger siblings to be played during the speeches. She wants it to be a surprise, but has agreed that her auntie can check it over, thankfully.

Back to dresses, I didn't see anything that felt just right in the bridal shop in my town the other day. But partly because we left early as the owner was a bit annoying and kept telling me that I'm 'not too old' for a (£3000) strapless meringue. Hmm

More places over the next few weeks. Smile

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/10/2016 13:51

How about this?. It's in their wedding section although they have shedloads on there (the 1920s style ones are particularly lovely).

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/10/2016 14:08

Have just read you've changed your mind about colour - they have shedloads on that site with beautiful beading on.

Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding
Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding