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Looking for a non-white dress for (my) wedding

230 replies

Somerville · 08/10/2016 21:33

I'm getting married early next year. It's my second marriage (I'm widowed) and my fiancé's first.

Between my father in his uniform (retired from armed forces), my DD's in huge, meringue-style tulle and sequin bridesmaid dresses, and my gorgeous and very tall fiancé in his morning suit, I don't want to let the side down. Smile But neither do I feel it would be right to wear a traditional white wedding dress again. And certainly no veil.

I spent a few weeks designing a dress with a friend who is a (professional) dressmaker and we came up with a plan for a long, silk bias cut dove-grey dress with a cape back. But my sister has put me off it by saying I'd look like a nun, and my friend has a lot of work on and if I want to commission anything else I'd need to confirm it with her quickly. However she has pencilled in time to do alterations to something off the peg, which feels more sensible at this stage.

So I'm looking for long dresses that are silver or blush pink. I want at least a short sleeve and certainly not strapless.

We're getting married in a church and having our reception in a rather grand library. I'm just turning 40, 5'6 and size 10 but big norks and broad shouldered so sometimes have to size up if it's high necked and tight across the top. I'm short waisted (if I put on weight I'm an apple) but slim hips/long legs. Pouffey skirts don't look as good on me as slim-fitting skirts. Oh and we're TTC so I don't want something super tight across the waist just in case. Smile

I've budgeted up to a thousand pounds but I'd rather spend as little as possible less. If I couldn't get something at that budget I could increase it but I'd rather not.

I've ordered a returned a few things that were too shiny or a weird shape. And I've pounded the pavements at a designer outlet village this afternoon. I tried on a gorgeous fuschia and cream Temperley dress that I loved but it didn't feel bridal somehow.

Any ideas gratefully received.

OP posts:
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MrsLettuce · 09/10/2016 10:46

blush silk

TBH I still think Ghost is your best bet.

herecomesthsun · 09/10/2016 10:48

Well, I got married just turned 40 in a silver brocade and black velvet dress, but it was very full skirted and corseted. We had candlelight and the silver apparently was twinkling in the light. I think darker, lusher fabrics worked well with a winter wedding (we also had a lot of red going on with the flowers and bridesmaid's dress).

Have found a silver Temperley dress on line, on their site, but without a price tag, the Tamir dress (photo not saving and it looks hard to link to)

Somerville · 09/10/2016 13:02

That sounds gorgeous herecomesthesun. I want to avoid any dark colours, especially black, but whenever I look at pink dresses I do wonder if it'll look stupid for a winter wedding.
Between that and finding silver dresses I've tried so far too shiny, I'm not sure what to do.

Thanks for the other links, I'll look at them as soon as I turf fiancé and kids out to walk the dog this afternoon.

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Kathrino · 09/10/2016 13:11

If you haven't looked already, try the J Crew bridesmaid dresses. They have lots of different styles and materials in a range of colours so there might be something that suits? They have to come over from the US but it's very quick and easy to return too (I think returns are free). If you email them, you also get an assigned wedding co-ordinator who can help with the logistics too. They also send samples of materials if you want to scope out before you buy.

FauxFox · 09/10/2016 13:23

virgos lounge

MardyGrave · 09/10/2016 14:15

Soft blush bridal?

vintage silk feel?

Goingtobeawesome · 09/10/2016 18:28

I feel pink is too light for a wedding dress what about red?

Somerville · 09/10/2016 18:47

Red doesn't suit me; I'm very pale and suit light, cool colours. The darkest colours I wear are medium pinks and purples, charcoal and navy.

Thanks for the other links. I like the Virgos lounge one and the Henrietta dress (though not sure if I could pull off the latter) but again - Polyester. It's so frustrating.

It's nice to see that the J Crew dresses are all silk and natural fabrics. Nothing that really jumped out at me though - mostly they're short and I think I'd look significantly less smart than my fiancé.

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Goingtobeawesome · 09/10/2016 18:51

Purple would be fabulous.

ninnypoo · 09/10/2016 19:02

Have you looked at Needle &a Thread?

I love this:
www.net-a-porter.com/us/en/product/706336

Somerville · 09/10/2016 19:10

Don't tempt me adogcalledbert Grin

That dress is beautiful and I've eyed it up several times... I don't think I can justify spending that much. Especially as it's not 'perfect' (doesn't have sleeves).

I've been told several times by elderly relatives that lilac/purple is what widows are traditionally meant to wear, gtbawesome which kind of puts me off. Whilst I don't want to look in any way like I'm trying to ignore the fact that my wonderful dH ever existed, I also don't want what I wear to be symbolic of the worst thing that has ever happened to me...
Sorry, probably not making sense here. Not sure I've made sense of my feelings on all this myself, tbh. I just know it feels more complicated than choosing a dress the first time round.

OP posts:
Scoose · 09/10/2016 19:23

have you seen this one?

Scoose · 09/10/2016 19:27

try again!

adogcalledbert · 09/10/2016 19:29

That Jenny Packham is even more gorgeous than the one I linked to.
It's fabulous

Scoose · 09/10/2016 19:34

Argh just seen it's polyester!!!

adogcalledbert · 09/10/2016 19:41

Did you see that Ghost do wraps to match their frocks?
So you might not need to do sleeveless after all.
www.ghost.co.uk/zara_shawl_silver_lake_dto-az02ba-b37

Somerville · 09/10/2016 19:47

I've tried that one! You lot really know my taste now Grin
I had high hopes but it's a bit of a weird shape on me; too low at the front and way too big over the hips. (I had a 12 delivered as they don't have it in 10.) Parts of the beading were loose as well. I loved the colour and it had just the right amount of sparkle but doing major changes to it would have been a nightmare for a dressmaker because of the beading and it's already at the top of my budget so I sent it back.

If it comes up in a 10 I'd order it again, so am keeping an eye on the page in case of returns.

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Somerville · 09/10/2016 19:50

The lady in the Temperley store was telling me that poly-fabrics hold their shape better for being heavily beaded/embroidered or something? I thought she was just trying to make the sale, but seeing how many of these it's the case for, I wonder if there's something in it?

And another good reason to go to Ghost. I'll go this week, for sure.

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SandwichYum · 09/10/2016 19:56

Not natural fabric but lovely colour www.phase-eight.com/fcp/product/phase-eight/bridesmaid-dresses/savannah-lace-full-length-dress/203385242

MrsLettuce · 09/10/2016 19:57

I suspect the Temperley lady was spot on. The blue Temperley dress you linked had a silk lining despite polyester outer layer

Coconutty · 09/10/2016 20:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BennyTheBall · 09/10/2016 20:07

I have no idea, but I absolutely loved your old thread from when you met your lovely man ( was on there but have name changed) and I am so pleased for you!

My wedding dress was satin lined crepe, which I guess is polyester? It wasn't sweaty making though. Normally, I only have to think about polyester to start sweating profusely.

LimeFizz · 09/10/2016 20:18

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