Crepe And Stormy

[Cremo]

Over here Crepemunks!
Hope no one else has started one

Rudy

Must send DH round the bookies

I have had a haircut and am en route to collect new glasses. I'm so S&B.

Am also feeling low but suppose this is par for the current course.

MI wondered where you were! Big {{}}

Here off to a 40th for a couple of hours and then dinner I think.

Back from an intense week of singing renaissance polyphony with DH, while DSis1 stayed in our house with DD. A horrible virus wiped me out for a day and a half in the middle but I recovered enough to enjoy the end. It was booked a while ago & helped us both, though being away from home was hard.

Still assailed by painful recollections of Mum's final illness at times but back ache has eased & I'm sleeping better. A plan for a woodland burial is taking shape & I've written a pile of difficult letters to her oldest and dearest friends, ex-colleagues and far-flung relatives. Stair lift, hospital bed and wheelchair have all gone, just some other bits and pieces to be collected. At some point we'll realise that we suddenly have a lot more freedom (and time in my case) but that hasn't sunk in yet.

Rose, Montserrat, how are you doing? Sorry you're having a low day, MI.

We saw DSis2 while we were away; she has tolerated Round 2 of chemo reasonably well & was able to come to our concert and out for tapas afterwards. DNiece1 brought her baby, who loved the music & chatted back to the choir cheerily

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

Good to hear you are getting through it, Auriga - and the singing trip sounds like it was very therapeutic.

BTM - very funny little thread! There are some witty folk around.

No Grand National flutters going on here - I didn't even do a sweepstake at work, which I normally get persuaded to organise. Maybe it's because I won it last year.

I'm feeling a bit demotivated at the moment - there are all sorts of things I ought to be doing, but my get-up-and-go seems to have got up and gone, and I am just titting about on my tablet. DH has gone back to bed!

Yes, good to hear you are finding things to feed your soul, Auriga

MI, hope the haircut and glasses are cheering.

Auriga good to hear from you! Glad you had some peace and joy in your week.

Auriga

I think I love my new glasses - GGG approved - and the haircut. Have left it uncoloured as am going to have a week of seeing how grey it is and if so what I plan to do about that (I slightly yearn for a head of dramatic swishy silver). DD1 is off bowling, DD2 is at her jazz improv session (I feel really cool saying that - they have a gig at the Vortex club soon) and I am going to Crystal Palace where I am meeting DP, in a rare moment of togetherness and I shall blow money on scented candles.

auriga it's good and reassuring to hear from you. Everything you describe sounds par for the course. Not easy but there you go. I am ok on one level and very much not ok on another. I also get a lot of flash backs and difficult to remember aspects of DDads decline. I gather that's normal too. Thanks for asking.

So Mi we are going to need photos of the new hair and specs! I feel I need both of those too, but I can't even get out the house for a quick blow dry, let alone a restyle and have yet to book an opticians appointment, God knows how much over due.

The washing machine is f**ked. The house is in chaos. DDs art is all over the place. DH is at football. I am spoiling for a fight.

My mother had Alzheimers & for a while (about 9 months) after her death I could only remember her as ill. Slowly other memories started to take over & when I think of her now (often) it's as the true, fit person that she was. I really have to make a conscious effort to remember her illness.

I love being white, MI. Also wondered if having a splash instead of a jog might help you? I find going up & down the pool, thinking of nothing but what number length I am on (I chant the number in my head) very relaxing.

Just arrived in Cornwall! Sharing a room with dd2 and her constant singing and chatting may not be quite as relaxing as I imagined! She's very excited about staying in a hotel she's currently making a cup of tea!

She's also very excited about seeing all dd1's friends. I suspect there will be lots of shrieking at 18 yo boys, much to dd1's embarrassment

Auriga, I'm glad you had a good singing break. Very well timed.

Ooh Beachy, Cornwall sounds good. Even with over-excited DD2! Actually, she sounds like a breath of fresh air

Hello from rainy dismal Paris. The day started out so well. Magi- I would love to go white but I go salt and pepper - dramatic white would be fab - and much less expensive.

Have skimmed through thread - fabric softener - never used it - for the same reasons as Mrs S - it smells funny and is additional chemicals.

Herbs - love DS's proposed - London Transport day out - I think I would have opted out of that one even if I was on form.

Have been to see the Revenant with DH today (yes we are a bit behind). I thought Leo had more lives than a cat, so overall, a bit far fetched although I loved the sweeping landscapes. DH v amused that didn't recognise Tom Hardy.

Have fought with DD1 as she says I stress her - and I said if I said nothing, nothing would get done. Am also very annoyed that she told me her Eurostar was at 12.00 and so I delayed booking an event as I thought I'd be taking her to the station, and today she decided to look up her ticket time and told DH, who informed my by chance that she's leaving at 11 am so all good for me to go. She knew I'd been hesitating about this event for weeks . I'm fed up of them (DD1 and 2) saying they are adult and yet I have to still micro manage everything and then I am reproached for it! Still - I have got off very likely compared to other crepeys so I should put things in perspective. Got home and apparently DD1 has gone out - well I'm having wine so she will have to get back by herself - I suspect this means tube into Paris and back out again as buses have stopped. OK rant over!

Hatty, dashing it to say I have had exactly that argument about getting things done - word for word with dd! It is a tense time, with exams looming, and loads of other Stuff to be sorted too. Boundaries with adult children are a touchy business.

dd also tends to pretty well quote that book title "I am an adult and capable of everything - where are my favourite pants"

Hattie - leave them to it. Especially DD1 - she's an adult!

My DS is 29 and married. He still likes expects me to sort out stuff for him even though he now lives 200 miles from me. I'm in the middle of house insurance and AA renewals for him. It doesn't get any less as they get older imo. He has gotten better though & managed to organise redecorating and repairs himself after they had a leak.

I'd love to have white hair. I think it's really striking.

Off out for dinner, trying not to send the calorie intake through the roof.

DQ, whaaaaaat???
Mind you, I can imagine my two will turn to DH for all that kind of thing. And me for the redecorating/repairs

I am also off out - to hipsterville with a friend.

MI I am going to be watching a footy match about 100yards from yours tomorrow!!!

Come round instead

MI - I try to step back but then things happen like university fee money isn't tranferred after three weeks of being here and guess who has to run round like a headless chicken and sort it.

Lalsy - exactly - they are adults only when it suits them.

Dreamqueen - noooooo! Don't tell me there's no end.

Have decided managing a family is actually like running a mini enterprise.

Yes, it isn't that simple IME when it comes to it because all connected with them coming home and leaving again - emotions run high. And a smidgen of help can help massively as they start looking for jobs or doing adult things for the first time - I do wish we were all born knowing how to fill in a tax return.....

Ah yes, I take your point!

Lalsy - you are spot on about emotions running high - especially as this is the run up to exam term and we've had these wretched holiday schemes in the background. Interestingly she seems to have done her tax return on time and by herself - amazing how the motivation of a rebate can galvanise her into action!

I am slightly aghast at tales of 'adult' children's incompetence, but dare say I was just the same. And that DS will be also. Maybe it's a manifestation of them still wanting to be looked after, and us still wanting to be needed!

Have spent the day with MiL for her birthday. Along with DP's two sisters and nieces, their boyfriends (two of which had never met the family before), and MiL's sister. All crammed into the tiny sitting room, along with MiL's bed. It was all jolly, until they brought out the cake, and one by one people left the room to cry in the kitchen, as it will probably be MiL's last birthday. We pulled ourselves together enough to watch the Grand National. Out of 15 horses we collectively bet on, NOT ONE finished in the top five. The odds against that must be pretty long...

I am on a self-improvement jag, and trying to police my boundaries. So far this has only manifested itself in telling DP when I'm pissed off, but in a nice way. It's gone very well! Next on the agenda, confronting friends when they behave in a manner I don't approve of. My problem is not having the confidence that I'm right, or have the right to be upset.