Crepe And Stormy

[Cremo]

Over here Crepemunks!
Hope no one else has started one

I just meant for a day or two! DSis has been talking to carers about after she dies - but in all honesty I'm not really concerned about that at the moment.

I do get out from time to time. But it's just this seemingly endless situation

MI - is it absolutely too late to move her to a hospice? (I suspect so.) Or can you get day carers to sit with her as well as the night carers, rather than just coming in and out (I am sure you have thought of all this ), so that you can have a break.

And not self-pitying at all.

MI, you sound so tired. It is exhausting waiting, let alone with the added stress of everything else with your dad. The day carers might relieve things a little. for you. Sending love and strength X

Night sitting service now being withdrawn after Tuesday. We either get a Marie curie nurse (we should be near the top of the list, but they will only be three nights). District nurse putting pressure on us to do nights ourselves ("if you're absolutely adamant you need help"...). Will have to find an agency to provide it (they can help with this). It's nobody's fault - it is what they are funded to provide. Meant to be emergency package.

He's going on and on about how wonderful she can die at home.

Getting in more day help would involve talking to him. I don't want to do that.

He has asked me what he should get at the supermarket. I DON'T KNOW.

MI, what does your DM want? Would she be desperately unhappy to move into a hospice at this stage? I am guessing re carers they would be self-funding? Could you get a live-in carer?

MI, would it be possible for any of the carers to be engaged privately for some hot cash in hand? Would reduce the amount of discussion with DF, perhaps.

I think you need to go out for lunch with your book. And maybe suggest that your dad goes out for a walk when you come in....

My dad will be adamant about the hospice.
I don't know how to sort any of those other things out.

They're workable solutions in an alternative universe where my dad would be reasonable. Sorry to be so useless but I just can't do anything more than I am doing.

MI, I am so sorry. This sounds terrible.

Has the GP given any indication of how long - I know they are sometimes reluctant as they don't want to get it wrong, but it might help you and your dsis make a plan - maybe there comes a point when you decide you both want to be there - for each other, not for your dps? My dsis and I did this - the breaks weren't worth the agony of being alone at the bedside...... Could your dp make some calls re getting extra help? Thinking of you x

She says not beyond the weekend but admits freely she thought that last weekend.

MI if I could jump on a plane I'd be there. Would dp or a friend come to help support you today? My feeling is you need someone to be there for you. It worries me that you are alone dealing with this.
It's really not unreasonable to ask for any kind of help now.

I have leaned shamelessly on friends/rellies: and day carers (two Crepeys) said firmly if at breaking point to ring them.

MI glad you have done something. If it really is very soon you won't have to lean on them for long and even if you do - so what you need to. Please try to take care of yourself as much as you can.

Good work, MI. I think people are usually touched to be asked to help at a time like this, too.

I don't think I will make it for a D and S tonight, dear London Crepeys.

I'm off out to buy lipstick

That's a shame, Lalsy.

Good plan, MI. I agree with Lalsy, I think people would be more than happy to help and asking them is good.

MI - thinking of you

and the various D&S crepeys - have a great time

MI. Have just texted you...

Very jealous of the D and S drinkers - although did have a glass of Prosecco with violet liqueur in at lunchtime - odd but delicious... Have a lovely get together.

GGG I have a bottle of Violet Liqueur in the back of the cupboard. I have never opened it, for fear it might taste like meths of somesuch. Might try it added to prosecco at Halloween when I get home from work. eventually. What do you call it? Purple Rain or something? [topical]

MI hope the reaching out has proved helpful. Everyone is right I think, that being asked really helps friends galvanize. I wish you an evening of calm with .

I hate to not be in the Dark and Stormy club tonight. Have an evening being work shadowed by my boss so have whipped up a storm amongst the team and instructed them all to look industrious.

I have found some sloe gin

And lovely friend is cooking supper. It's not just the food itself - it's the feeling cared about.

Sloe gin is drink of the gods MI!

Crem if you like the vibe of rose and violet cream chocolates you will probably like the violet liqueur and fizz thing... good way to make cheap fizz more special. Don't think you'd want too many though

A drop of sloe gin at the bottom of a glass of prosecco is rather good too.