Choosing between your face and your figure

[MissAlabamaWhitman]

I think I've hit this particular fork in the road sadly.

I've always been 5'8, around 9stone 7 and an effortless size 8-10.
Since turning 32 a year ago I've sprouted Ecup boobs, a flabby tummy, fat arse and put on at least ten pounds.

Having said that I look much younger than my years, even more so after gaining weight and edging ever closer to a size 12.

I don't mind so much, I'm hardly overweight.

I'm just not particularly slender anymore and irrespective of my smooth face I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think my overall softer bodied appearance cancels out the relative youth of my face in any case. Sometimes

Is this just something we all go through in our early thirties or thereabouts or should I move my fat arse and do some bloody exercise/stop eating shite/ buy some vitamin c serum?

I don't hold with the 'face or arse' theory.

Some of my wrinkliest friends are also overweight. Plus, carrying extra weight is very ageing, imo.

I'd rather be thin.

And yes, you're still a healthy weight even with 10 lbs on, so this doesn't really apply to you.

I was reading about this last week (I can't find the article atm) but the guy who has written this book reckons if you eat the right foods you don't have to choose between face or figure.

What I read seems to make sense, lots of omega 3, fresh veg, cut out red meat (he also recommended cutting out chicken and eating more fish)...and obviously cutting out refined sugar.

I only think people look older/aged when the loose weight, if they have lost huge amounts and very quickly. Like with a gastric band or something.

People who loose a bit or loose it more steady don't age as much, imo.

How does a softer body cancel out your face?

I think it's a choice at the very low BMI range - very underweight can often equal haggard over 40. I weighed around 7 stone last year and at 42 it wasn't pretty - not so much more wrinkles but sagging and sunken cheeks. Now I weigh 8ish and look a lot fresher and lifted.

I suppose I feel that it's ageing me now that I'm not remarkably slender any more. Despite the young face.

I've been cutting out sugar, sort of modified low carbing since new year, more in a bid to lose the ten pounds than to benefit my face but I think I'll carry on with it now and might even buy that book, thanks ooo.

I completely get what you mean that excess weight is ageing Dick, I didn't really mean choosing to be overweight though, more choosing to be an average size (12 for arguments sake) rather than a size 8 as I'm now getting older to stave off the ageing process.

I sort of find that very slim women a decade or so older than me tend to look haggard compared to their curvier counterparts.

I do fucking hate my stomach st the moment (although not enough to do any exercise admittedly )

I think you're still OK at 32. When you get to 48, though......

I lost quite a lot of weight a couple of years ago. Too much. Looking back, I was definitely a bit gaunt around the face. I've now decided to go for the "happy medium", so I eat sensibly to keep the worst of the middle-aged spread at bay, whilst accepting that the super-slender figure of my youth is maybe a thing of the past. And I try to dress to suit my figure, so the extra few pounds don't show.

When I lost weight following a sad loss I had fillers as my face did sort of cave in .im now trying to loose a bit of access weight as I put it on again but wd have no hesitation having fillers in future if I felt I had to choose between face and figure .
Just in case it s useful info .
Mind you I will struggle to stay slim ish as I'm small and females inn part of my family are Apple shapes .

And low-carbing is brilliant for flattening your tummy.

I think it depends what 'look' you like- I will always prefer the rangy skinny look, even with an older, even slightly haggard face, than the curvy buxom look. I prefer jeans and leather jacket over brightly printed dresses if you see what I mean.

My body was changing in the way you describe and I decided to fight it. I got really into gym, more or less gave up carbs. I also had surgery to lift my bust and make it a lot smaller. I am so much happier with my shape again and am much happier in my clothes.

My face did look older, but a little bit of Botox and filler is holding back that particular tide...

I think if you feel fine with a bit of extra weight, lucky you. But if it bothers you, you can do something about it.

Ps I am 10 years older than you and have had my kids etc...

I think thats half my gripe tbh caramel

I had my four DC between 22 and 30 and just pinged back in to shape so I was lulled in to a false sense of security it seems

It probably is time to lay off the and and do some exercise.

I can afford Botox if it comes to it I suppose and my tummy is just so depressing (three c sections don't bloody well help) but it's mainly prosecco and quitting smoking that have contributed to my dough belly .

I'm 48 ..5 ft 7 and 9 stone ..vary between about 8 stone 11 and 9 stone 2. I have a lanky frame and tbh look better with another half a stone because my face does look better then...but I hate that 6 pounds of it goes on my hips!

I do a reasonable amount of exercise as I'm training for my black belt in Taekwondo, and have decided I'd rather be a bit haggard but know my body is fitt(ish) for my age than have a smoother face...long term the internal benefits have to be better than the external look. I also have 4 kids and my stomach..even now when slim, just doesn't look like it did at 30... I am ageing!

I genuinely believe though that eating well.. getting my 5 a day, no meat, keeping the wine and bread (my weakness!) down to reasonable levels gives me an overall healthier look . Plus I live in jeans and t shirts in my job and every pound shows!

If I could afford it I would be very tempted with a bit of botox and fillers tho

"I sort of find that very slim women a decade or so older than me tend to look haggard compared to their curvier counterparts."

Do you think maybe it's the slim figure leading you to expect a young face? A bit like how long hair can emphasise age because you see someone from the back and expect a young face. When the doctor on the BBC did the 5-2 diet, he looked the size of a young person, but the face of an older person if you know what I mean, and I thought it was slightly ageing.
Not sure if I'm explaining myself that well here...

I remember my body's transition from "slim no matter what" in my youth to "lucky to be a 10/12 if I watch what I eat". It was a shocker. Then I had the misfortune of putting on 3 stone in my 40s and became a 14/16. As I'm not used to diet and exercise this has taken ages to shift but I lost a stone last year ane will lose another this year. My face had become pudgey and undefined but my features are returning now. I don't think it's one or the other, face or body, mine are in proportion. The things that age me are the greys and the lines but I look better regardless the coat I get back to my size.

I think there's a shift around your mid thirties where you suddenly don't look "young" anymore regardless of whether you've put on weight or not. If you've always been effortlessly slim and young looking it's a bit difficult to come to terms with.

I'm in my late 30s now and when I was late teens - early twenties I was size 8-10 and 5ft 7. I have slowly put on weight over the years due to combination of eating too much due to emotional stress of disabled child and also having thyroid problems. I'm now a size 16-18.

The thing is, for me anyway, yes I know I could do with losing some weight, but I'm still going to look "older", being a bit overweight or not isn't going to change that and it's something that I do find hard to come to terms with.

I know 30s isn't old in the grand scheme of things but it isn't young either. When I put make up on I have to make more effort so it doesn't sink into lines round my eyes. I have grey hairs that take a lot of covering. My skin is looser around my chin. Other people would say it's not but I know it is. I can never look "young" again even if I got down to a slim size again so I would rather not bother and eat the extra cake.

I don't necessarily think being larger or slimmer is ageing as such. I think clothes, style and make up can help more than anything to keep people young but I do think there is a point where you start to look old and you move from being the young slim sexy woman to an older woman .... ! Unless you're a superstar with tons of time and money on your hands!

From your post it stands out very clearly to me - you need to exercise!

The human body isn't designed to be inactive and your best route to a healthy body is to exercise regularly.

Your body AND face will look better for it.

I am your height, my naked body looks worse when I'm 9 st 7lbs - my boobs look empty, my stomach looks like a deflated balloon - a bit of extra fat smooths it, make my boobs look fuller BUT...... I look better in clothes at my lighter weight....oh the dilemma, dh of course does not have an opinion.

My main thing is though, staying fit and strong as I get older, not losing muscle mass, keeping a strong core, staying light enough so that my joints don't feel the strain. Eating good clean food 80-90% of the time - essentially making sure I give my body the maximum chance of being fit and mobile in my twilight years because that will make a difference.

My face is on a downward trajectory of it's own, the wrinkles will not affect my quality of life - so I'll use a good SPF and try to not think about it!

Agree with CuttedUp.

I also don't buy the face vs figure thing - as Dick says, being overweight is far more aging than being slim can ever be - for one thing, slim older people move quite differently from overweight people. It's not just about the figure and the face.

I have an aunt who's mid 70, so of course she does have wrinkles. She's whippet thin and tiny with it, but is so light and fast on her feet that she seems so much more youthful than people 20 years younger than her.

I also think its a load of twaddle. I feel and think I look better in my 40's than I did in the middle of my 30's because I had more stress and I eat better now.
I've been a size 10 for nearly all my adult life so definitely won't be voluntarily putting on weight.
As long as you eat healthily, exercise, use Spf50 etc I think you can have both.

Smoking, sunbathing, overeating, binge drinking, illness and stress are the things that can age you too quickly and which you should try and avoid. Genes of course play a part that you can't change.

Yes genes -my mum is 82 very slim - size 10-12 and has great skin - her sister is a size 18 and her face is massively wrinkly - she's got a great smile though so her face always dazzles.

Pilates will sort out your doughy belly for starters.

missAlabama, I'm your age too, size 8, sometimes 6, but shorter, And i have long hair, always get told I look like I'm in my mid 20s,very recently by a cosmetic dermatologist,

You are really too young to be thinking about these issues, you have 4 kids to look after,I can't imagine that being easy? You must be sleep deprived too,

Being thin doesn't equal looking haggard, sometimes yes it happens if you were overweight in the first place and lose a lot, sometimes things don't shrink back, just like excess skin, sometimes its excessive smoking or drinking, which is worse as they work from the inside out, so the damaging is not just superficial,

Yes, I agree Pilates is really good for toning,skinny fat,which seems to be your issue, plus weight lifting, I've completely stopped running, and just do Pilates ,weight lifting, biking, and I see no difference, still in shape, except my trainer says that my boobs will be greatful in a few years time ,

Keep up with the good eating, introduce good fats like salmon, avocados, nuts , cantaloupe , they help with the renewal of skin collagen, and see how it goes, maybe all you need is just a few lifestyle changes,

9 stone 7 for Op's height is about BMI 20 right? So right at the bottom of the range. 10 stone 3 is still well within the BMI range.

You're 32 not 52. You haven't hit a fork. You've just put on a bit of weight. Hit the gym.