Choosing between your face and your figure

[MissAlabamaWhitman]

I think I've hit this particular fork in the road sadly.

I've always been 5'8, around 9stone 7 and an effortless size 8-10.
Since turning 32 a year ago I've sprouted Ecup boobs, a flabby tummy, fat arse and put on at least ten pounds.

Having said that I look much younger than my years, even more so after gaining weight and edging ever closer to a size 12.

I don't mind so much, I'm hardly overweight.

I'm just not particularly slender anymore and irrespective of my smooth face I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think my overall softer bodied appearance cancels out the relative youth of my face in any case. Sometimes

Is this just something we all go through in our early thirties or thereabouts or should I move my fat arse and do some bloody exercise/stop eating shite/ buy some vitamin c serum?

explain to me in simple terms why it's misogynistic to be concerned with losing ones looks?

What I called misogynist was the idea that woman can only save face or figure not both. Why the hell not? I first heard it from Proust.

But as you ask, if women were not judged so much on their appearance they would be less concerned with losing their looks, just as men are not.

FYI badger I work full time in a professional managerial role whilst my partner is a sahp to four children.

I'm hardly shackled to the patriarchy.

I distribute my efforts in a wide array of arenas, I just strive to look good whilst I'm at it.

How very myopic of you though may I add.

Your attitude to looks is patriarchal noneless.

It's quite unusual to be worried about 'losing' your looks at 32, unless you're in a profession where it will affect your employment prospects (ie tv, film, modelling etc) - which is a case in point.

What are you afraid of?

*nonetheless

Trust me, if I was suddenly unable to complete the Times crossword I'd be similarly concerned, and attributing it to my ageing brain.

And men ( or at least those of my particular acquaintance) are concerned with losing their looks.

My partner is equally as unimpressed with his paunch as I am with mine.
(And his grey hairs)

No need to be so offensive Yseulte. Fact is that as we age, we all lose volume on our faces. Those who carry a few extra pounds will be better able to hide that loss of volume. This has nothing to do with the patriarchy and more to do with the desire to have a youthful appearance - usually for other WOMEN (men tend to notice less).

For slim me (size 4-6), I was told by a consultant dermatologist that he could see the loss in volume in my face and recommended fillers. I thought he was mad as I have been waiting all my life to get some definition to my round face. Bring aging on!!!! Now you can start to see my high cheekbones!

I'll take the loss of volume happily, and keep my slim figure.

Some individual men are, but it's not a general preoccupation/obsession the way it is with women.

Lads' mags are not stuffed full of info on how to stay young looking, anti-aging products, dressing youthful, info on surgery, fillers, Botox...

No need to be so offensive Yseulte

Huh?

What is your point Yseulte? Why so angry?

Angry? Where did you get that from? I think you might have the wrong end of the stick.

I doubt it. You come on a thread like this and start lecturing how pitiful some people are and how they are enslavened to the patriarchy blah-de-clan. If you had not notices, this is Style and Beauty, not Feminism!

And yell at me for my poor typing skills....I dare you!

lecturing how pitiful some people are and how they are enslavened to the patriarchy blah-de-clan

Erm, where did I say that? If someone's angry here it's not me.

How would you describe saying to someone "Your attitude to looks is patriarchal noneless." (I assume you meant nonsense?).

This is a very sneering thing to say to someone, and people don't use such a tone of voice unless they are quite...militant about their views.

No, 'nonetheless' as the following post clarified.

It's not specific to the OP, we're all impacted by patriarchal notions of the
importance of women's appearance.

Are Style and Beauty and feminism mutually exclusive? That would be a shame.

If Yseulte is saying that women are more valued for their youthful looks than men are, then I totally agree. I think the older you get, the harder it becomes to separate out 'looking good' from 'looking young' - if you're a woman; plenty of evidence for that on these boards.

But both women and men have been decorating themselves and playing with their appearance pretty much since we began. You could probably argue that it's one of the things that make us human.

And I don't see why we should use lads mags as a measure of what's interesting or valuable.

I know what you mean OP. I'm approaching my mid 30's and noticing signs of aging and finding it hard to accept. It will make me more determined to look after my figure because at least I will still have that.

There's nothing at all wrong with saying that IMO. And for what it's worth, my dh also feels the same about himself.

Lads made are defunct.

Do keep up

That's true. Maybe they'd still be around if they'd included a bit more fashion

Perhaps GQ could swap its Top 100 Fittest Women for diets, beauty tips and the circle of shame.

Or perhaps glamour could include '100 fittest men of the year'
Rather than their 'women of the year' awards?

Oh and it's 'men's health' that the boys flock to for beauty tips, diets and grooming, not GQ.

Men do care about their looks yseulute Maybe you only know men with low personal standards.

Lads' mags are not stuffed full of info on how to stay young looking, anti-aging products, dressing youthful, info on surgery, fillers, Botox...

Never seen a copy of Men's Health then!

Yes because I said men don't care in the slightest bit about their looks.