Page 15 | Creme de la Crepe

magimedi · 01/09/2015 13:31

I think one of the nicest things about having adult children is no more education angst - I really feel for all of you going through that dilemma. Twenty years on & I still wonder if we got it right!

We are off on hols tomorrow. I have packed & as always DH remembers something vital he has forgotten about an hour after I've shut the cases. EVERY bloody time for the last 30 years.

I know he could pack for himself but we always split stuff between 2 cases to minimise the risk if one gets lost. DH is very tall & big of foot & it would be hard to find him anything to wear in remote (ish) place we are going.

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 14:06

I too hear that it's shrinking - but that's a lot of distance to play with. Happy to give you more info, of course, as are we all! My two quite different offspring appear to be flourishing (says she, before they're found downing cider behind the bike sheds).

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 14:55

Monty, two very dull and nerdy things I gleaned from scouring admissions info (not just for my two I should say before I sound utterly bonkers - I have harrassed the council for years about school place planning.....) furthest distance on 2 March can be very different from furthest distance the following 1 Sept (which can be good - but stressful IYSWIM). D used to have bulge years they didn't tell you about so previous year's distance was no guide - this may not happen since the rebuild but may be worth checking.

MontserratCaballe · 01/09/2015 15:06

Thanks Lalsy, those are very good points. I shall scrutinise this all very carefully. We can see EG from where we live pretty much, so we would definitely get in there. Others are less certain. It is not a great walk to D from us anyway so I am less keen on that, TBH.

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 16:55

Magi, where are you off to??

magimedi · 01/09/2015 19:36

Here:

See you in a couple of weeks!

Original poster

MrsSchadenfreude · 01/09/2015 22:35

I am grouchy tonight. The non-stop banging on the door by the man upstairs is really getting to me. He appeared this morning, seconds after DH had left for work - around 8, which is late for him, as he usually starts banging around 7, if not earlier. He came back this evening, and DH spoke to him. I refuse to engage, but if he bangs on the door in the morning, I can't leave the house without seeing him, as he stands outside our door all the time. And bangs constantly (the record was over two hours one night, from midnight to 2 am, when I refused to answer it and DH was away), he won't go away if there is no answer. He is getting much worse - tonight he said that someone had stolen his mattress and had replaced it with a cheap one , he has had a row with his carer, and has refused the sheltered accommodation.

So that is the first irritant.

The second is DD1, who has been back at school less than a week, but has phoned every single night to moan about how much she hates her IB course, how much work she has, how it is all much too difficult, and how she just wants to do the high school diploma (which would not equip her for anything in life). She hates all of her courses, even the interesting ones, as there is too much work and none of it is interesting. So she got short shrift this evening as well. She has been like this all through her school life, she is really quite bright, but very rarely puts in any effort, apart from with the moaning that she hates it all, all the teachers hate her and she has no friends. All untrue. I want to shake her or give her a slap. All she has to do is put in a bit of effort for two years and then she can have a year off. If she put in as much time with her school work, as she did with moaning, she would be on for top marks all round.

I would just like to run away, frankly.

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CointreauVersial · 01/09/2015 22:36

One crepey leaves, another returns..... have a lovely break, Magi...... aah, we're home!

A quick stop in Gent yesterday (moules frites and some fine Belgian beer for dinner), then we headed for the Dunkirk ferry. In time-honoured crepey tradition, we managed to miss our scheduled departure, running into a stationary queue of lorries a couple of miles from the port, and going nowhere for about an hour. The passport control guy cheerfully informed me that 1st September is always mega busy because the mass return to school in the UK coincides with the French haulage industry waking up from their August holiday... who knew??

Anyway, the troops remained in good spirits and we made it home by about 7.30pm. The bags are unpacked, the washing machine is humming, and I'm settled on my lovely sofa with a glass of red and (French food snobs, look away now) a tray of Apericubes.

Original poster

MrsSchadenfreude · 01/09/2015 22:46

Mmm, Apericubes. Always a mainstay of my parents' parties in the 70s. Did you go to the Tierenteyn mustard shop in Ghent? I like Ghent a lot, but think Antwerp is my favourite Belgian city.

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bigTillyMint · 02/09/2015 07:07

Sorry to hear your woes MrsS. Re your DD, I can sympathise. I think they unload all their worries/frustrations/angst onto their mums (well in our house anyway) - it is very often just sounding off, but because we love them and want them to be happy, we take it all on and worry/stress about them. DH let's it all wash over hin and takes it all with a very big pinch of salt (which sometimes infuriates my DD) I am trying very hard to follow his lead and take a step back and not let it get to me so much now she is 16 and is 2 years from becoming an adult

We have team - building today, in our sports kit. Am quite looking forward to it!

addle · 02/09/2015 07:22

hello all, feels very back-to-schoolish and autumnal, doesn't it? Faint feeling of dread at work that the great season of holidays is over. And I have to start running a series of writing workshops for potentially bolshy ex management consultants with no experience and scant training.

MI, I think I would agonise over your dilemma but stay schtum. Suspect DH would not see it as a dilemma but would also stay schtum.

BTM, is your DD definitely going elsewhere? DS doesn't go back until Monday (I think) I've scoured the website and can't tell.

Herbs, have a party! It will be great.

bigTillyMint · 02/09/2015 07:53

I think it is Mon Addle - have PMd you!

Anyone around on Sun for a trot round BP if it's not raining?!

motherinferior · 02/09/2015 08:21

I refrained from a Ladyjog this morning out of laziness - I did go yesterday and my thighs ache madly as a result - and am therefore sluggish. I must get back into Routine. This will be helped by the Inferiorettes' return to academic incarceration tomorrow. Today they are catching up on a spot more sleep .

I must go and bang the keys.

Blackduck · 02/09/2015 08:39

MrsS sorry for the grief. Welcome back all holidya returners.
We have until next Tuesday for the big return - still have to do shoes/trainers/bag here.

I am back a work but feeling a tad rough and really can't be arsed to be frank. The fight has all gone out of me.

Rosebag · 02/09/2015 08:42

Sounds as though there lot of Crepeys with local knowledge re. schools, Monty…. helpful Agree with Magi its so hard to know if we get it right…what's getting it right anyway??? My DC have been happy at Secondary on the whole..but I got it badly wrong with DS1 in the 6th form…insisted he stayed on the the school's 6th form…arguably one of the best state 6th in London, but it really wasn't right for him. All mine have gone to secondary out of the borough to school whip have dropped the catchment area thing, so now its a total lottery!

Have a great holiday Magi

Oh MrsS…I just don't know what to say. You poor love. Maybe Tilly's advice is right…just to accept they'll be moaning of one sort or another and detach a bit? Not that I'd be any good at that at all…. The neighbour thing is quite appalling. I think I'd have tried to move out by now or I might end up doing time for murder.

Welcome back CV My DM's gamily is Belgian so I have an affection for the region. They were all French speaking but eventually moved to Antwerp., which I loved as a city too. I spent time there with an Aunt one more than one occasion to speak French before the exams…no one in the street would speak to you in French of course….

Rosebag · 02/09/2015 08:43

DM just called. A place in the chosen nursing home has come up for DDad and she has accepted it. Relief.

magimedi · 02/09/2015 08:51

I'm idling about waiting for the taxi to take me away -

Rose, I am SO pleased for you & your DM. What a weight off shoulders.

Original poster

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/09/2015 09:16

Rose, great news about the nursing home. It must be a huge relief.

I spent just short of five happy years in Belgium (in the non-French speaking part) and would happily go back there. Antwerp is such a lovely city, and the only place where I have heard Yiddish spoken by so many people on the street.

I think DH, in his bid to be helpful, is enabling the neighbour's behaviour - we look after his cheque book and some other papers for him, and he will always knock on the pretext of needing a cheque and stand there dithering about whether to take one cheque or the whole book. And then he will knock again to give it back... and then decide that he needs it again five minutes later.

I don't know what to do about DD1. DH has suggested maybe a child psychologist. The school has counsellors, and she was referred to the counsellor at her last school, who did a lot more harm than good, and I know she would refuse to see another school counsellor again. The thing is, it is not specific to this school - she has always claimed to hate every school she has been to, and then as soon as she leaves, the last school was the greatest thing since sliced bread. She says that she has zero confidence, yet I have seen her stand up and give a presentation to 400 people without batting an eyelid. I will have a word with the head of boarding, he is a sensible chap, and see what he suggests.

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motherinferior · 02/09/2015 09:30

Oh hurrah, Rose!

DSis - who really is a saint - visited our Aunt the Aged French Nun (long story) with our particularly Bonkers Cousin a couple of weekends ago. Apparently the AAFN lives in a really lovely place in Harrogate, which is free to former nuns - DSis said it really was worth considering converting.....

Lalsy · 02/09/2015 09:50

Oh Rose, what a relief. I hope the move goes smoothly for you all.

MrsS, don't know what to say about the neighbour except I would probably have behaved very very badly by this point. Or about dd1, except that some people's skins fit them better at some points in their lives than others. I think confidence is a funny thing tho - I know plenty of teens, my dd included, who can be very confident on one occasion or many, or one setting or many, but lack basic confidence in what their place in the world is, which shows up in other ways. Have all the schools she has been to been similar?

Magi, have a fab time!

Blackduck · 02/09/2015 10:06

Rosebag - fab news....

RudyMentary · 02/09/2015 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cremo · 02/09/2015 10:43

Ooh Rose, that's a great bit if news and a comfort I'm sure. I hope he settles in well.
Mrs S I am aghast at the neighbour situation, and sorry to hear about dd. I do remember that this happened before didn't it? I think Lalsy is spot on regarding confidence being a situation specific thing. Is there a split between the expectations of her teachers ( she is bright) and what she feels able to deliver? Perhaps she's afraid of failing or letting herself down .
So tough to know what to do. If she won't go to a counsellor is there a teacher she favours who you could get on side?

MI I am intrigued by the story. I would tend toward the telling, and in doing so avoiding later difficulties but again dh here, fails to recognise a problem.

Lovely early autumn sunshine here.
I don't think I really want to come home at all. Certainly not back to the Hell that is Work. BD , I recognise that feeling of loosing the will to care. I'm with you.

Blackduck · 02/09/2015 12:00

Cremo :( What's the news on yours? Here the work is unremitting and I am going to have to learn to say 'no'....

I really wanted to hide in Wales this weekend........

MollyLair · 02/09/2015 14:47

Addle, give those management consultants a load of tabloids and tell them to write a piece for The Sun. That'll lern 'em.