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Original poster

Creme de la Crepe

999 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/08/2015 10:52

New thread...

OP posts:
hattymattie · 01/09/2015 08:56

Gosh WAF - that sounds quite scary - and quite unecessary from the second woman. People seem to be getting more and more bonkers these days.

Rose - Fab dancing - hope the top is intact.

DS has his pre-rentree at the moment - he gets to know his class and timetable. I have to go for him at 10.30 when I will undoubtedly be ranted at about the unfairness of it all.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 01/09/2015 08:59

Herbs - but you can rely on Rose to lead the dancing!

OP posts:
motherinferior · 01/09/2015 09:09

Oh lord THAT Tesco!

Herbs, I'm all about the massive party. As you know.

OK: this is a WWYD question. And it's actually fictional but (a) I'd like your takes on it (b) I need to know if it is indeed a workable dilemma.

If you know something, which might hurt or might console another person, and in any case which concerns them, what do you do? This actually sprang, personally, from my mother's illness, but I am using that for something I was already writing.

I am writing about a time and a place where children were removed from their mothers and sent overseas. Forever. One of my characters – a leading one – realises that she’s met one of these children, and played with her. Does she tell the mother – who has herself spent the past few years in a very bad way on account of this loss? Does she say “I saw your daughter, and she is loved and cared for but on the other hand she is known for crying half the night?” Does she reopen the wounds of a woman who is starting to recover, and who will in any case never see her child again? Is there an answer – or is it one of those situations where you know that whatever you do will carry horrible risk?

Rosebag · 01/09/2015 09:11

WAF Blimey…that's scary stuff…there are plenty of nut jobs out there…

Herbs !!!!!!!!!!!! Grin Grin Grin Had lots of nice cinnamon churros to eat last night, though…. Nonsense, woman….loads of peeps will come to your party.if you want help I love function organising and event management, no really

I am just about intact, red top and all. Mindful of what Hatty said
up-thread…I was indeed in danger of throwing an almighty sulk all evening but with a somewhat loud disco there was no small talk, which in many ways which made me feel a lot better. Probably just the distraction I need at the moment.

Maybe we should have a Crepey Ball….? No, really.

hattymattie · 01/09/2015 09:12

Herbs Grin - cinnamon in chilli con carne surely not spag bol. Wink.

I'm sure any party you have will be fab and well attended and of couse with excellent dancing from the 80's led by Rose. Smile

hattymattie · 01/09/2015 09:15

Rose we could alternate sulking with bouts of wacky dancing Grin

herbaceous · 01/09/2015 09:23

That's what I thought Hattie (re cinnamon), but she was quite insistent.

Re your fictional dilemma MI, I think it's one of those situations when whatever the child-finder did it would hurt someone somewhere. Her weighing up of the problem coud be part of the story, right?

Re 50th, I've just added up my preliminary 'definitely invite' list, and there's about 60 people on it, so once I've added a few' ring a friend' invitations, it should pad it out nicely.

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 09:34

Oh yes, the existence of the dilemma is central. I just need to know it is a valid dilemma. And indeed other people's response to it is quite a moral touchstone. So it works?

Rosebag · 01/09/2015 09:41

MI knowing something that you think another person might want to know but not being sure if they would rather be spared the pain, is a brilliant story line. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Great stuff. Smile

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 09:49

GrinGrin at Rose and Herbs!

Rose, you looked fab.

WAF, blimey, how scary.

MI, weirdly, I have had exactly this dilemma recently (about a separation). The best thing to do would have been to tell part of the truth - but that isn't possible every word is gold to the person concerned (as they ask questions). I couldn't not have said anything I don't think as on the whole, the news was likely to bring at least some comfort and peace of mind. If I had known the person less well, I might have decided to say nothing and convince myself that I was likely to make things worse - how well do your characters know each other? Sorry to be cryptic!

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 09:49

It definitely works MI!

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 09:55

Great - as long as it works I can make it central. Grin

hattymattie · 01/09/2015 10:49

MI - I would probably say nothing unless it came up in conversation for fear of re-opening old wounds. Sort of leave well alone unless it was visibly still eating away at her.

DS - unhappy about his class and has emailed the directrice himself!

MollyLair · 01/09/2015 12:29

MI, I live with that kind of dilemma day in, day out. I imagine lots do. It is agonising. Don't we all have it with other parents? Don't you long to say to other parents of teens, for example: "Please don't keep calling him stupid and useless. You are destroying him." Etc, etc. I know that's not quite the same, but I also have it on an ongoing basis with more similar dilemmas. So yes, feasible indeed.

I am so up for a Crepey Ball. Obvs I have nothing to wear.

bigTillyMint · 01/09/2015 12:44

Herbs, I'm another saying do the massive party - we'll be your dancing crowd!

WAF, we actually didn't get to bed till 4. And then I had 2 similar 50ths the following 2 weekends!
Oh and sorry you had a nut-job experience. But you handled it well.

MontserratCaballe · 01/09/2015 12:54

WAF, your nutter experience sounds terrifying. Glad you are OK. Sounds like you were extremely calm and a soothing presence for others Flowers.

MI, I think that would be a very interesting development in the story. Hard to know what to do in the real situation though.

Herbs, I think you should have a big party. I didn't have one for my 40th (as we were completely skint and I was 6 months post partum and the size of Tesco) and I really regret it. Perhaps I should have a random one for my 46th. I am afraid I am hard to get off the dance floor as well. I am a rubbish dancer but I so enjoy it.

Rose, did you get my text? Smile Loved your outfit yesterday.

Just started looking at the open days for secondary school. Feel a bit sick. It's really happening now and makes choosing a primary look like choosing a handbag. There were only ever 2 primaries which we could have got into but there are about 6 secondaries in the offing. DD wants to base it on uniform, lunches and whether or not they do Latin. I want her to go somewhere where she will be happy and, I hope, flourish. I will try to keep my angst to a minimum.

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 12:59

Thank you! Interestingly, DP didn't see it as a dilemma at all - he said "Of course she should tell her" - but then of course he took issue with the idea that the child would be distressed at all, which of course is part of His Stuff.

MollyLair · 01/09/2015 12:59

Monty, dd was nuts in the way she selected secondaries. Graveney was a complete no-no because it had "grave" in its name, as was Burntwood, which had "burnt" in its name. Colour of walls mattered, too. We bought a puppy to help her choose. This added to my insanity levels.

motherinferior · 01/09/2015 13:01

Monty, ours does Latin. And you might be in the large catchment...

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 13:04

Monty, it is very stressful. Lots of us have been through it in your manor or nearby tho, so are available for hand-holding, and between us we probably know people at pretty well every secondary within an hour's commute!

MI, I think a separation with no ongoing contact throws up all sorts of interesting issues.

bigTillyMint · 01/09/2015 13:05

MI, I hear that the catchment is shrinking very fast.

My DC's school does Latin too. And it's a lotteryWink

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 13:06

Seems perfectly reasonable to me Molly Grin. ds was under the impression we had applied for a place for him at a swimming pool with flumes.

Lalsy · 01/09/2015 13:11

We rewarded dd for sitting the mammoth Wandsworth test with a penknife - looking back, I cannot imagine why we thought that was a good idea.

MontserratCaballe · 01/09/2015 13:21

Thanks for the encouraging words. We are going to look at most of them in our area - MI's and BTM's, plus D (sw16), EG (se21) and H (c pal). Ours is a boom birth year which doesn't help. MI, I went to yours last year and loved it. We are 2.2 miles as the crow flies. The furthest child in each band was 6 ish in 2014. How much shrinkage do you think there might be?

Lalsy, a penknife is inspired. Dd would like a hamster. I am less keen.

MontserratCaballe · 01/09/2015 13:22

Molly, the puppy sounds fab. Love your dds way of choosing! X

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