50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

Loving the mix of fashion and intellectual scientific rigour here !

Feeling your pain ladies, altho I am 46, but my body is starting to let me down and I fear I have no control over it. Low thyroid, fibroids, grey hair, hairy face mole, jowls developing, its depressing.

Always used to be very boho and hippy during my youth but as you get older you just look a bit mad if you keep that up. Went round the whole of blinking Bluewater yesterday and could not find a single nice thing to fit my size 12 but lumpy bumpy body. Everything is clingy, and I am beginning to think finding a white top that you cannot see your bra thru is an impossible task.

On the up side I went to watch DH do a 10 kilometre river swim in Devon at the weekend and there were absolutely hundreds for 50 and 60 year old women doing it, all looking amazing and inspiring - no make up, hair caked in river mud, lumps showing thru their wetsuits, but fit as fiddles and not caring a jot as they had just achieved something amazing.

Have been reading this thread with much interest as I turn 50 in 4 months time. I had my 3 children quite late on so I feel under some pressure NOT to look like the oldest mum in the (reception) playground.

I really can't afford to spend a lot on clothes (or hair for that matter). What I find is that you have to put a LOT of hours in shopping to find clothes that suit on the high street but it can be done. I like the tunic and leggings "look" as I think it suits my shape - slim legs and bum but an out of proportion tummy - and I have learnt which tunic shape suits me (i.e hides the tummy but not in a tent-like way) and I spend a lot of time hunting for that style. I have got some really nice ones from M&S, Principles and Dorothy Perkins but I had to try on a lot of dreadful ones to find them! I can't wear anything that flares out, even slightly, so have bought high street tunics and dresses with a slight flare that I then get removed at a local dressmaker's for about £8.

Tops to wear over jeans are quite tricky I find and again, I seem to have to try a lot on before I find one which fits nicely - i.e is not tent-like but is long enough to cover my stomach but not so tight it accentuates it.

Hair-wise I think my current style - longish and straight with a fringe is ageing me and I really want it cut off. I haven't had my hair professionally coloured for about 2 years now but for some reason it looks like it is still highlighted. I just keep the greys at bay with Clairol Root Touch Up which is on 3 for 2 at Boots at the moment if anyone is interested.

For me, exercise is key. It gives me more energy as well as making me feel better about myself. I go running 2-3 times a week and would really recommend it. I started out with the Couch to 5K programme and now I run for 35-45 minutes each time.

Makeup wise, I've been wearing it since I was a teenager so can't imagine not. I did start to think that my longstanding EL Double Wear was ageing me a bit so got samples of lots of alternatives but in the end decided that DW was the best for me. I am going to try the Shiseido one mentioned up-thread somewhere though.

Phew - what an essay! It's really nice to see I'm not the only mumsnetter with these worries though.

I don't normally post on this section but saw the title in today's discussions. I'm nearly 50 I've never used any skin cream/moisturiser/foundation etc. in my life, I always to forget to remove any make up before I go to bed. But by sheer luck I've inherited genes from both my parents that mean I look significantly younger than my age. Having said this recently I was not looking so young because I had put on loads of weight in the last five years; I used to be size 8/10 became a 16/18, the perils of being post menopausal but now I've lost 5 stone in weight and the other day I was literally mistaken for a 20 year old!
Having lost the weight not only do I look younger I feel younger, I wear clothes I actually like, not clothes to cover up the rolls of fat, my skin looks a million times better and in my self I feel so much better, more smiley and confident so look younger. Clothes make a big difference I've discovered, that's one of the first thing people notice about you, gone are the M and S "classic" range, back to the student slightly boho trendy clothes.
One other thing I've never smoked this helps and I never let any grey hair show I have it coloured every 3 weeks.

OP how about a change of user name? You are not an OLD BAG!!

Oh god....when I read the above I realise there is no help for me....

Watching thread with interest. Shriek when I look in the mirror every morning. I have run for a few years - what does it do to your face? Is it awful?
Agatha - are fillers only really minorly painful and minimal bruises. I once inquired about them and the guy said there was no way I'd be able to hide from DH or anyone else that I'd had it done (as in the bruising, not that I would look miraculously young overnight!)

ladybird - my experience has been that having tear trough fillers showed only very minor bruising that was easily covered with makeup. Mouth to nose lines/grooves I had more bruising and that didn't cover completely. Also the mouth to nose fillers did swell a little in the area the next day, although that went by the third day. With the tear troughs, I think there are two ways of doing them - one is with a cannula which means only one small insertion area and so minimal bruising. The older way of doing them was with several injections of filler throughout the area, which was more uncomfortable and more likely to bruise.

My dp is 54 and always saying how young I look so thats an option! Being 5 years younger helps. His birthday is tomorrow and we are going out for lunch today and it is amazing what a bit of makeup and hair can do

That's where I went wrong, Noddy! Dh is 6 years younger than me

I am sure he has other advantages! Also my sister lent me one of those babyliss curl things and its amazing

Did I read that power or Nordic walking is just as good for you (and kinder to your skin) when you're a bit older?

I walk everywhere as I don't drive I find if I don't I really get podgy and feel more tired. Pedometers are great for motivation.

I'm 48. I am less worried about the way I look than the way I feel, tbh. I have found that giving up wine/champagne completely and going to bed very early (lights out by 10pm) has made a huge difference to how I feel, and I try very hard to find time to lie down for an hour on the sofa in the early afternoon.

My skincare is under control and I visit the dermatologist from time to time to zap broken veins, remove milia and anything else small and unsightly.

I agree with noddyholder that walking everywhere is the best way of keeping weight gain in check. The mothers I know who act as chauffeurs for their DC and spend their life in the car are all overweight (unless they spend their whole lives in between at the gym, which I am not prepared to contemplate).

No, not really Noddy He's greyer and more decrepit than I am

I work in a shop (who'd've thought it!) and am a people watcher... you do not notice what people "look like" unless you really deliberately stop to look.

What you do notice is their smile, their behaviour, their confidence, their kindly tone.

I love walking but after lifetime of sports and exercise aversion I have found a liking for fitness classes.
Am now thinner, less tired and my skin has improved.

I walk or cycle everywhere as we dont even have a car but it makes damn all difference. OTOH that isnt age as I have always struggled with my weight.

I have taken up more exercise but it appears to give me headaches which is very unwelcome.

One thing I'd suggest for better skin is keeping off the sugar ( as well as the wine, ciggies and out of the sun.)
Sugar is known to cause inflammation in the skin and destroy collagen.
It may be coincidence ( my mum looks very young for her 87 years) but my skin is unlined and for many years I've not been able to eat wheat/gluten so apart from the very odd treat of gluten-free cakes etc I hardly consume any sugar. I really believe you are what you eat, and in your 40s and 50s we all need to make a huge effort to eat well to help our skin and weight.

Now I'm off to make a cake for relatives turning up later!

I am 54 and at around 50 started to chubb up a bit. So two years ago I took myself in hand, went from 12 stone to nine and a half size 14 to size 10. upped the walking and the swimming. Feel so much better

Also do pilates and plenty of stomach excercises to keep the meno-pot (belly) at bay. Tummy fat is more ageing than other fat (IMHO of course)

Have always had good skin and hair - genetic, my 80 year old Mum does too.

One thing I think is very important is posture - stand tall, shouldcers back, tummy in. Helps the back too.

I agree about walking. Since we moved to the sticks 18 months ago and despite eating really healthily and having NO nights out therefore low booze consumption, I'm the same weight and wobblier than I was in London as I have to drive everywhere.

I'm 53 and have recently had a style overhaul. What made the biggest improvement was Botox on my crows feet and filler in the circles under my eyes. I've always used good moisturiser and a good cleansing routine but had still begun to look tired and dull. It's expensive but I can't recommend it enough.

I've also lost two stone and changed my hair style. I've been straightening my shoulder lengh hair for years but recently had some layers cut in and now just blow dry into natural waves, it's all made a massive difference.
Nobody else has commented but I like what I see in the mirror and that's all that matters.

What I would like is to look my age (58) and still look good. I may be wishing for the moon on a stick but that's what I'm aiming for.

Sugar is evil for ageing. EVIL. It's pretty evil for loads of disease process and development. Dagnammit. I fricking love the stuff.

Indeed. Avoid sugar. It helps cause what I call ODDD - obesity dementia depression diabetes. Eat lots of veg and loads of good fats and fish eggs and meat. Works for me and I'm never ill and certainly don't feel old. I can do handstands at my age as well as in my 20s.