50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

I've always liked how I look. When I look in the mirror I'm happy. My looks are only about 1% of what I am anyway and at our age we are often at the very peak of earnings and career which makes many of us feel absolutely marvellous. It all comes back to female careers, earnings, feminism, power and money rather than what fake products you stick on your face.

Or is it just about weight for many people. 60% our age are fat. If you aren't you feel fine.

I'm 40+ and am probably the healthiest (and slimmest) I've ever been as an adult, due to a bit of a health scare a couple of years ago that lead to a huge diet overhaul and taking up proper, regular exercise.

So body wise I'm pretty happy and have the confidence that comes with age to not give a crap what people think, and to wear anything I fancy. I've also never smoked or sunbathed excessively so I'm (almost) without wrinkles so far....

My only bugbear is the big prominent bags (tear troughs) that seem to have appeared in the last couple of years. And no amount of concealer/corrector seems to help .

The only thing that does help is wearing my glasses (which I only really need for driving). When I do, I get remarks about looking ten years younger, etc, which I'm sure is down to go fact that the frames cover my eye bags.

I would seriously consider fillers if i wasn't such a coward.

Btw I know I sound like a whiney old bag if that's all I have to moan about

Penguins I have tear troughs too, but I get them filled. It usually lasts around 15 months, and the difference to the way I look and the way I feel about myself is huge. Maybe it's not something you would be comfortable with, but if you are considering it I can highly recommend fillers for tear troughs.

Ooh that sounds interesting Agatha. Can I be nosey and ask how much it costs? And how painful it is?

Also, whenever I think of having any 'work' to my face I imagine ending up like Lesley Ash...

Meh well I am 52 and had a surgical menopause last year with hysterectomy. So, fatter than ever. I have taken up lots of exercise and am hoping for the best.

My skin has lost its bloom but I feel silly with foundation on and I can't stand lipstick, whale blubber on my mouth ewwwww.

I know what I want to wear: jeans, plain white perfect t shirt, nice jacket. But I don't wear trousers- don't have a single pair- because I know only too well what I look like from behind in them. Skirts are ageing so I wear shift dresses which luckily require no waist.

By far the most depressing thing is standing next to my gorgeous glowing slender 20 year old DD.

Beast- out of interest were you offered HRT if you had your ovaries removed? Unless it wasn't suitable due to some medical reason. It's just that so many women are not offered this if they have a hysterc. in their 50s, but your ovaries do continue to push out some oestrogen for ever.
Sorry for the mini hijack and if this is too nosey just ignore..

I had the whole lot out, ovaries, tubes, the works and was on oestrogen only patches and topical straight away- the surgeon prescribed them for me, and she said that the great thing about hysterectomies is you don't need progesterone, so you can take HRt for long and with less risk.

That was the good side of the surgery. That, and getting the menopause over with in 20 minutes under general anaesthetic

Penguins - the costs are variable depending on how much filler you need. I needed a lot the first time, so it cost around £500. That lasted about 15 or so months, then I had a top up which cost around £250 I think (not entirely sure as had mouth to nose lines done at the same time). Top ups usually require less filler. Pain wise, the tear troughs are just a little bit uncomfortable, not painful. They numb the area with cream and the fillers themselves contain a little anaesthetic. Very minor bruising, easily covered with make-up for a few days.

Agatha - can you feel the filler once it's in your tear troughs?

When I look in the mirror I see my mum.

Well, I'm 37 and I look like shit, so I don't feel all that hopeful about how I'll look at 50 :D

It doesn't help at work either, does it? I used to be able to channel elegant highflier. Now I get a choice of mumsy or harridan.

I'm 45 and when I look in the mirror I see my old self but with smaller eyes, more facial hair, the beginnings of jowl-type things and constant grey re-growth sometimes in my eyebrows

The good news is that, as someone mentioned up thread, no bugger looks at me anymore!

And the other good new is that where my outside is going rapidly down hill, my inside has improved no end.

More confident, less anxious and more at one with myself.

Martha no . That would freak me out a bit I think!

You are all mere children. I am 66 and I can tell you looking in the mirror at this age is a scary prospect unless you have had wine. I have spent a lot of time looking at women of my age and have discovered that you do need to spend time/money on a really good hairdresser to continue to look at least respectable. I spend a small mortgage on mine but he's worth it. I go to a beautician regularly to get any facial hair removed (painful!), my eyebrows done and legs waxed.

Clothes get more and more difficult. Older women can look great if they are tall and slender but it is hard to get nice clothes if you are short. Overall, I think the most attractive older women tend to wear classic stylish clothes, with good jewellery. Plain colours works best, rather than patterns and definitely no frills or flounces or little girly prints. I have a friend who always looks lovely and she buys lots of things from Hobbs. A good pair of jeans, boots and some decent sweaters make a good standby wardrobe.

I'm not sure I totally agree, flowers, patterns and flounces are fine if you can carry them off. A reasonably slim figure and a genuine smile are necessary, though.

Looking round my D(WI)F the most ageing thing of all is too short shapeless brown trousers. If the top of your socks show when you sit down it's very aging.

The lady with the flouncy top could get away with them because she had nicely cut, just bootleg, black trousers coming down well over black shoes with a slight heal. She's 70. I know we had wine and strawberry cake.

I agree, it looks bad when trousers are too short. I really struggle, as most regular lengths are slightly too short, but longer length too long! So I end up with the bottom of my jeans/trousers wet when it rains.

I'm not a fan of frills and flounces myself, prefer plain and simple, definitely no animal print But on others it looks really good.

I used to like a floaty, boho style but I look terrible in anything like that now - the floatiness just accentuates the sagginess. I've gravitated towards much more fitted, structured clothes and, now you mention it, block colours rather than patterns.

Penguins I am a huge fan of glasses too. It's not just that they hide and distract (although they're brilliant for that) they just bring my face to life somehow.

Might be a bit unusual to develop Type 1 diabetes mellitus but not terribly unusual. ('Bit' and 'terribly' being scientific terms )

Loving all the scientific chat and shamelessly marking place.

I still shop in the same shops really, but I'm finding it takes longer and longer to find stuff I like and stuff that suits as i race towards my 50s. A bit annoying considering I am time poor.

Oh ffs my post was way out of synch, I'm only catching up with the thread and missed the last page. Apols

Just to agree on glasses. Not happy at first when told to wear them some days of the week after many years in contacts but there are so many modern and trendy styles around now I've really come round to them. And varifocals mean no messing around with different pairs for long and short sight. My DS actually thinks I look younger and trendier in glasses.

At 47 I have had a few thoughts along similar lines recently, grey hair, general sagginess.
Then I picked up this weeks copy of the big issue and read it.
Optimism and excellent writing by a bunch of women, many of whom are a whole adult lifetime older than me.

I recommend it, highly. Cheaper than fancy serums too

I've worn glasses since I was 10, I don't feel me without them.

I've worn glasses since I was 20, I feel naked without them.