50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

fava, extension strength is what, exactly, please?

Loving this thread :) So pleased there are so many of us MN with basically the same problems and concerns....... somehow makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone !

Greengrow Are you not worried about your pelvic floor though?

cardi
I do jillian Michaels Shred workouts plus exercise classes at gym.
I have 1.5 and 2 kg hand weights at home that I use to do squat presses,chest flies,forward rows,dead lifts etc plus shadow boxing.

Minkah
Can't link on the phone. Look for Tracy Anderson arms on youtube. In less than 3weeks I lost over 1inch around the bingo wing. My triceps are stronger and more defined than when I only used weights. :)

I hadn't put any weight in with menopause until last 7 weeks...almighty HRT cock up and 7 lbs on from nowhere.
Desperately trying to get rid

I follow a pelvic floor-safe DVD by physio Michelle Kenway. After an operation I was told never to lift anything over 1 st again, and never to jog or run- damages the pelvic floor.
If you have any PF issues, squats are bad for it, as is running and lifting.

Pelvic floor? I've never given it a second thought. Surely if you do gymastics, yoga etc your body is fine? I would imagine exercising like that means your pelvic floor is in good shape and I've had 5 natural vaginal births and have a perfect pelvic floor as far as I can see. If you just be natural in life you'll be fine on the whole. If you eat fake processed foods, get fat and never lift a finger you probably have no end of health problems. I've never even been on the pill as I don't like to take in chemicals and spoil nature's way.

I have noticed since my Peri-menopause symptons have kicked in I can put on weight so easy even if I am keeping up with exercise. So now I have discovered I have to reduce my calories to right down to 1400 just to keep the weight off not even necessarily losing any. Therefore menopause probably means weight gain for most .

Does anyone find low carbing helps with avoiding weight gain, or is it just plain and simple calories?

Afaik there's much debate on the low carb thing. Recently there was some evidence that it was better than low fat at losing weight, but it appears the evidence wasn't v clear and there were certain biases in the trial. The conclusion was reduce your overall calorie intake. The healthiest diet to follow is the Mediterranean diet, it has lots of health benefits, just watch the calorie intake.

Greengrow You are very very lucky to have had 5 vaginal births and no problems! I had 2 and had to have my pelvic floor repaired in my mid 30s. I have always had a very healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle and put on just over a stone with each pregnancy. It's how your body is made- and the type of birth experience you have.
Gym and yoga can actually damage a pelvic floor. Any load on the pelvic floor makes it less strong.

I'm leaving this link here- actually I found her on MN ages ago- def worth reading her website.

www.pelvicexercises.com.au/

Anonymustnot I didn't put loads of weight on - maybe about 4lb - but what I found was that the weight distributed itself differently so that I now have a completely different body shape.

I have a moderate prolapse following 3 vaginal births, 2 of which were big babies born very fast. I've never been very overweight, always within a healthy bmi. I have been advised not to lift anything heavy also.

I find low carb works well for me. I eat lots of veg, some meat, eggs, I fry in butter, have plenty of olive oil in salads, but don't eat much bread, pasta, potatoes etc. My ibs cleared up and also my aching knees improved dramatically.

I find if I slip into relaxed eating, at Christmas or on holiday, my IBS returns quite quickly.

Unfortunately a lot of low fat yogurts and other foods have lots of sugar added to improve the taste. I think a diet of unprocessed food is the healthy way forward.

Anyway it's slightly off topic (pelvic floor). I just thought is you move, are active and let nature do its work you births don't cause permanent problems but as people say perhaps I was lucky. Anyway it must be awful unable to lift things or move properly because you think you'll break open or urinate or whatever the issues are.

It's not about calories. It becomes more and more about what you eat and your hormones. I am just learning about all this stuff and find it fascinating. I am eating more than ever and I am losing weight and feeling great.

See this

sophieologie.me/2013/09/26/1200-calories/

And Google Metabolic Effect and Menopause.

I temped for 6 weeks at a local private hospital earlier this year in the weight management team. They work with the NHS in a) helping obese people lose weight and b) for those who lose enough offering them bariatric surgery. I was utterly shocked at how many of the patients had listed so many means of weight loss over the years (literally all the usual suspects - Cambridge, WW, SW, Atkins etc. etc.). Sometimes they'd tried them twice. And yet here they were, heavier than ever and needing bariatric surgery.

I'm not saying those methods don't work. But for most people they don't keep the weight off for long. Which really made me take a long hard look at myself. I can really recommend The Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet. It's CBT around dealing with issues around food.

Off topic slightly although I do feel as far as myself goes that the extra weight I'm carrying make me feel and look older.

Indeed. If you look at the successful ways of eating many women on mumsnet recommend they are the same as all the latest science and indeed how man has eaten for a millions years - loads of good animal fats, meat, fish, sea food, fish. Lots of veg. Drink water. For me eating like that (paleo, wholefood or whatever you want to call it) first of all makes me happy which I put at the top of my list, secondly I am never ill so am healthy and thirdly it tends to mean your weight is healthy too.

It is very simple - just be natural. How was mankind for nearly 1m years as we developed? We were outside. We were in sunlight. We were walking, occasionally running fast, we were sweating, lifting heavy weights. We were eating what was around - sea weed, fish, eggs, veg, animals when were able to catch them and lots of sleep when it's dark and we drank water. The simple things make people happy and healthy.

I think whatever method you use to lose weight, if you return to an unhealthy way of eating you will put weight back on. The problem with most diets is that they are too restrictive to stick to all the time, especially as everyday life involves celebration cakes, alcohol etc etc for most of us.

My births were all natural, no pain relief, not even gas and air, and yet here I am with a prolapse. I think you were lucky; maybe some of us have a predisposition to them.

The fear is not of urinating or "breaking open" , the worry is making the prolapse worse, trying to avoid surgery/repeat surgery. It's not something to mess around with ..

Prolapse affects different ethnic groups differently according to stuff I've read. Caucasian women are more susceptible, black women have stronger pelvic floors. It's partly genetic.
I also read that women are only designed to give birth to 3 babies without having some damage to the pelvic floor. Obviously there are always exceptions.

I definitely recommend the Michelle Kenway website for advice on pelvic strength and how not to make things worse.

sorry- getting a bit medical instead of S&B!

Do ppl think having fair skin means you age less well? I am not a red head but I have that pale freckly skin (think blue tinge lol) and red tones in my brown hair. I burnt a fair amount in the 70s and 80s when tans were healthy (I never really tanned though) but have worn SPF 50 on hiols and SPF 20 mostly year round for the last 10 years. But obviously some damage was done and is irriversible. Am quite conscious of slightly crepey and sun damaged décolletage too from too many years with a farmer's tan. Anyone got any tips for improving that?

I feel that if I can maintain all this with good nutrition, skincare, don't allow any more sun damage etc. I'll look good as a proper old biddy lol.

I am fair skinned and red hair too Think I am about the same as anyone else really

fava thankyou. My arms are slim, just somewhat texturally collapsed from having lost weight.

I'll do toning and weights, I do a bit of salt scrub and dry brushing already for skin toning.

I'm surprised not many people have mentioned lack of sleep as a factor making you look/feel old. I'm hurtling towards 49 and have recently started a new job meaning I am at work from 7.15 (over an hour earlier than previous job). I'm not great at going to bed (been in bed over an hour now, should be sleeping...) and I have really noticed how much older I look because of lack of sleep .

Sleep definitely important.
I like an afternoon nap if possible,and am usually asleep by 11.