50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

I know I sound defeatist and I'm sorry, I think it's just the mood I'm in today, hence this post :)

I do know that I really should loose some weight, it's gradually crept up until now I wear a size 16 - I know this is just an average size, but for me it's just a bit too big. I know that in the past when I've slimmed down a bit it helps minimise my "deputy dawg" jowls.

I do appreciate the replies and will have a proper read through later and make a few notes!

ageing where do you put the taupey eyeshadow - on just the eyelid or eyelid and above? Also what make a colour do you use, please? I've got blue eyes. Thanks

What colour is your hiar Roy?

My eyeshadow tip is to put darker colour on the outside corner of your lid smudging it up a bit towards your brow. This hides the droopy lid look and also accentuates your eyes. I only use brown, I think anything else is a bit obvious (on me anyway).

I disagree that "ditsy" jewellery necessarily looks ageing. It can do, but it depends on your personal style and body shape. I'm 50 but "big" jewellery looks really frumpy on me.

I had a style day at HOC, it was worth every penny. OP I recommend you do that. It will really focus you. But don't necessarily go to your nearest consultant - I didn't like the look of mine, plus I didn't fancy bumping into her in the High Street - so I went to one in Kensington, who I felt would be more on my wavelength anyway. she was fantastic.

You can do it yourself and try and establish what colours & styles work for you, but if you're anything like me you could find that confusing and overwhelming and end up wanting an objective opinion.

FWIW I agree Noddy about BB cream and ditching the eyeshadow, in fact my style consultant recommended that for me as well..... but then again it could look amazing on another 50-ish year old. Like I say, I do believe it depends on your own individual style and you need to work out what that is before you do anything else.

I use Nice and Easy Medium Golden Brown which looks lovely when it's first done, but end the end of the month (I use the 28 wash one) it can look too orangey - I did try the medium ash brown colour, but this was a bit too dark for me (in the olden days before colouring I had brown hair with a lot of warmth in it ie when the sun shone on it it looked reddish/golden)

I bet to people in the street you look lovely roy. We are so hard on ourselves and more critical than strangers.

Great advice above too re keeping hair, nails, eyebrows etc groomed. It all helps. When I was very young 50 meant permed grey hair with a shampoo and set 'do', and clothes from M&S classics. That describes my mum then actually. I'm 50 and wouldn't dream of dressing like that now.

I also hate big jazzy statement jewellery I think it is trying to be wacky but looks ageing In fact I find too many accessories looks a bit naff on me although have always hated jazzy scarves etc. I dress as I did all my life really just maybe not as fashiony all the time. Skinny jeans nice boots and bags simple tops leather jackets and wool coats.

I also agree on the big jewellery: find it looks a bit Loose Women on me

Just another vote for eyebrow tint and shape and lash tint.

Also yes to best possible hair cut and colour, and to great bra.

I think obvious makeup, specially bright lipstick and spiky spidery mascara, is incredibly ageing on older women.
Tend to stick to tinted lip balm and sometimes tinted moisturiser but am lucky as don't need much coverage. Do spend plenty on good skincare, though. Mostly Clarins .

Agree on statement jewellery and scarves too.

Thanks wild I'd give my back teeth for a wolf whistle :) from someone in the street.

I find now that young people are polite to me in shops - letting me go first and holding doors open, I thought "how lovely" now I realise it's only because I'm an "older lady" :) Only joking I know they really are being lovely and polite.

If I don't reply for a while I'm not being rude - it's just I've got to go out and tune up the zimmer frame ! and walk the dog :)

I have my eyebrows threaded, otherwise all the small black hairs (which I could see to pluck out), which are now white, cling on to the mineral foundation I use. This is not a good look

My eyebrows are naturally very dark (not black), but as I race towards 50 I am noticing more and more white hairs growing within my eyebrows. And they are growing longer too.

I also have my eyelashes dyed, as, (again) my eyelashes are losing colour, and as my eyes are dark brown, and the brows are mottled!, I just look odd if I leave them natural.

My skin is the worst it has ever been. I now have acne on my chin, and the occasional spot on my nose or cheek. Also various minor blemishes have started to appear, and a 'dimple' like feature has appeared on my jawline (no idea what this is).

Fortunately I have good genes and oily skin, so at least I'm not too wrinkly (yet).

I try not to get too obsessed about it. If you look at some of the 'celebrities' without their makeup, most of them look nothing special, you could walk past them in the street and not even notice them.

At the end of the day, what matters is how you feel about yourself, both physically and mentally. It actually doesn't matter how you look, it's how you feel about that.

I tend to wear what is comfortable, and I like to think I have developed my own style, which I am happy with. Ideally I would like to lose 3 stone (or so) as well, but I just don't have the willpower or motivation atm. I am currently wearing black jeggings, with black pumps, and a lightweight pink jumper.

There actually aren't that many people who don't have to put more effort in to keep healthy as they age. Find what suits you, and makes you happy.

I sound like a right catch

Looking like a loose woman is one of my fears! They all look overdone and frumpy compared to my RL friends. Over coloured hair and weird flouncy colourful clothes Plus they have put the nail in the coffin of leather trousers and biker jackets!

Firstly I'd suggest lightening your hair to a light golden brown. Use a permanant one so it stays put longer.Having some nice caramel highlights put in around your face might lift your complexion.

You sound as if you have a warm colouring - do you use cosmetics with a warm base? If not it will drain you. A nice peachy blusher will do wonders. Use a compact for t-zone oil issue. MUA has a fantastic palette of warm neutrals for about £4. Use a chocolate eyeliner if your lashes are sparse and smudge it a bit unless you are going for the cats eye look. Brown/black mascara and lipsticks in the following colours - brick red (boots number 7 have a really good one), an earthy rose and a warm toned lipgloss in a nude that suits.

Same for clothes too -warm based. Have a look at the palette for soft autumn. It would provide you with a co-ordinated wardrobe of neutrals that are warm but not too dark.

Hair wise- what style do you have?

Assess your body shape now and dress it for now. Being a 16 is no big deal. There are loads of nice clothes available. How would you describe your personal style ( or what you would like to wear)?

You can try and improve things as much as you like, waste your time, effort, money and emotions on it. But nothing changes the fact that as you get older you look older or older and more fake. I think the best looking people are the ones that accept how they are and look happy.

Plus, once you get past 40 hardly anybody is looking at you anyway, the men are too busy looking at the younger ones. You are off the hook. That's the way I look at it and I feel happy about it.

It is not about looking older but looking good. Obviously older women still attract attention maybe not in the same way but if we didn't no one single post 40 would ever get in a new relationship! I know I look older but I can still feel attractive! I used to get told I look young a lot but not so much now but still get told I look nice.

Men get into relationships with women post 40 for all kind of reasons other than the way their potential partner looks, it doesn't mean they aren't mostly looking at the 20 year olds when they go out. Anyway, who cares what they think.

I agree with an earlier poster who said you should concentrate on how you feel, not how you look. Nobody is looking at you anway.

Just wanted to say that getting puffy, spare tyre, and eyebrows thinning are signs of sluggish thyroid function.

I take this nginx.iherb.com/Now-Foods-Thyroid-Energy-Thyroid-Support-90-Veggie-Caps/843

I find that if I look better I feel better.

Each to their own. I am a make up person, if you're not, don't do it.

Loose Women has also been salutary for me in overcoming my inner desire to match my eye makeup to my outfit.....

To add to what minkah said, I started taking a supplement derived from seaweed after reading about an iodine deficiency affecting thyroid function.

I'm 2 weeks into it, don't know if it's my imagination but I do feel benefit already. I'll try to find the study that I read and put it on here.

iodine study here

happybubble you have a strange negative attitude. How do you know who is looking at who and why are you so adamant that you have the answers! I go out with all my mates and lots of people male and female look at them.But who cares who is looking its about feeling great which I do most of the time.

Ah...my spiritual home! I am 56 and feel as though I have lost my way in the looks and fashion department. I am also a size 16 and fairly tall with it, so most of the time feel like an unfeminine heffalump.

Recently, jersey dresses have become a workwear staple and I am afraid leggings (jeans just don't fit any more since I lost my waist) and tunic tops for the weekend.

The only thing I feel comfortable in is my wetsuit as everyone looks a bit seal-like in them!