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Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

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Original poster

50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

318 replies

RoyCroppersOldBag · 17/09/2014 10:09

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

OP posts:

pinkfrocks · 21/09/2014 22:21

what do you fancy doing?

NewbieChewbie · 21/09/2014 22:23

*love. Trouble is I don't really know what to do. I left school at 16 but I did get an IT qualification at 28. I don't want to do that sort of work though. I am interested in user experience type stuff though. DH has suggested software testing as he feels I could be good at it and that you can be flexible and work from home etc. I quite fancy a degree but I have no A Levels even so that would be a long process. My kids are 12 and 10 so I have some time but they are still my priority...

GeorginaWorsley · 21/09/2014 22:24

I agree with pp who said good figure is important.
also I think having a bit of money to spend on yourself helps enormously.
I feel more groomed having regular manicure and pedicure,highlights done every 10 week s,regular trims etc
Plus I like slightly more expensive clothes now too.

pinkfrocks · 21/09/2014 22:27

How about looking into an Access course at your local college- they count as a start instead of A levels, then you could look into a BTEC or foundation degree.

Or do it the other way round- look at the courses on offer at your local unis, see what qualifications they want and if they have different requirements for mature students. Loads of courses now can be done by distance learning or very p/t attendance, with video and skype .

Beastofburden · 21/09/2014 22:28

newbie in 8 years both kids will have left school, and even in 5 you won't recognise yourselves so in many ways this is the perfect time to invest in retraining, ready for a second career that will last you to retirement, rather than a short term job that's perfect next year.

Have you tried writing down what makes you happy, what you can do that little bit better than the next person, what you want in terms of location, salary and pension plans, and how long you want to work for? Thos e data points might give you some clues.

I wouldnt get hung up on the A level side of things. You may find a NVQ route better anyway.

pinkfrocks · 21/09/2014 22:30

Agreed. There are some 'quizzes' online where you can input your ideas and come up with some sort of career suggestions, as well as doing various personality/ suitable career tests online- take them with a pinch of salt but they may get you started.

BomChickaMeowMeow · 21/09/2014 22:32

It's all about fitness and eating well for me. Make up, creams and clothes only do so much at any age.

NewbieChewbie · 21/09/2014 22:35

Thanks for those suggestions ladies. It's a work in progress and I'll give is some further thought. I agree - I could have another 20 years of working and I would love to earn some decent money again and have something for me rather than be an empty nester without much about me if you know what I mean.

RepeatOffender · 21/09/2014 22:37

Yes, yes, yes, Pink - i am nearly 52 but am so much happier now than I was in my 20s/30s. Of course i look older but that's because i am older. But, you know what - so are all my friends and my husband. I have dcs of 15 & 13 and i look like their mother. This obsession with youth bemuses me - I am who I am and I can honestly say I am happy with it. I do love clothes and make sure I get my hair cut/coloured regularly but I think I have come to an "understanding" with myself. Maybe i am lucky becuase i live in France where peole aren't written off as they age and can be sexy at any age. We all need to give ourselves a break and jump off this media-fed youth obsesssed merry go round.

Behoove · 21/09/2014 22:42

bom I agree with you, the creams, clothes and make up are the icing on the cake, but you have to make sure your cake is good first.
mine is a bit soggy bottomed at the moment

constancer · 21/09/2014 22:45

I'm a couple of years off 40 and starting to feel this way. It takes great maintenance and effort to look as (ha, who am I fooling) passable as I did in my late 20s/early 30s.

Sometimes I cannot be bothered

Beastofburden · 21/09/2014 22:45

Agree with repeat, my kids are 22, 20 and 18 and I don't want to look like them anyway....

noddyholder · 21/09/2014 22:55

I think I really changed most at about 38/40 now 10 years on I look much the sae so expect another change is coming soon!

burnishedsilver · 21/09/2014 23:35

I'm just back from holiday. It was great to see Italian women strut with confidence at all ages and sizes. I was one of the youngest and thinnest women on the beach (mostly retirees there that day) and I was the only one covered up in a one piece swimsuit. I've come back with a new outlook.

Behoove · 21/09/2014 23:52

Yes, they do love to promenade, don't they? All ages, shapes, sizes, lovely to see.

ThisIsSylviaDaisyPouncer · 22/09/2014 01:43

Newbie so many universities offer completely free training courses now. I have looked into these ones:
www.edx.org/

The quality of the courses seem incredible to me.

I seem to remember they do a user experience one but if not I am confident you could find something via google (remember with online learning all the anglophone universities would be an option, not just the British ones).

Beastofburden · 22/09/2014 06:58

newbie. Though doing a degree is a nice idea, and sylvia is right there is a lot online, be careful. It will be very hard fr you to pick a course that will be get you a job in what you want. Courses can look great but employers may not be impressed by them, either because they are not great in reality as there is no feedback or help, or because they are just not well known.

In your shoes I would try to retrain with real life support and professional skills training. I would think about local FE college leading to a distance learning course from a Uni with a course that a has a proven track record of getting someone a job. Look at Unistats to see what the employment record of a course is.

Back to the thread....

pinkfrocks · 22/09/2014 08:22

newbieJust a quick word of advice about online courses- you need to be careful about MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) which are free- that's the kind of thing that was linked to earlier, and real , credible courses that give recognised qualifications with employment prospects. MOOCs are great as a hobby and seeing if your brain still works ( joke) but they are not really a substitute for degrees or diplomas by reputable unis.
Ok- back to S&B :)

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