50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

getting READY see I can't even spell now !

Im not sure if I can help, but only to say that you're not alone. I'm not (quite) 50, and everything is heading south.

Congratulate yourself on being post menopause - I've just hit it, so have weight gain and horrible hot flushes, too.

Will wait until a more stylish MNer comes along to tell us how its done...

I'm a few years away but I find I need better cut clothes and regular haircut/dye. I have only a few makeup items now but more expensive. I've had 'my colours done', this helped. I try to remember to smile more :)

Me too! I've always got way with 'natural' beauty up until now but these days I look like a puffy old dog!

I've had a sharper haircut, I stay on top of the grey and clothes-wise I had my colours done plus a 'style day' so at least my wardrobe looks good!

I have lots of little lumps and bumps appearing and my eyebrows are wearing out.

My biggest source of sadness is my eyesight. I now need to put glasses on to do my face or use a 10x mag mirror :( I really miss just look at the real me in a normal mirror without glasses. I think I've lost actual perspective of who I am.

Oh, and for someone who's been a size 10 all her adult life I suddenly sprouted a spare tyre. Deep joy :)

I am 49 and it is more work! But I am happier looking nice so I do it. I do prioritise it I think. I get fed up with it as well I have an easy longish hairstyle that needs no work which helps. I moisturise like a loon and I think defined shaped brows and mascara is the minimum I get away with. I like wine and food and have to be careful and am cutting down carbs atm after just a week holiday earlier this month made me gain about 6lbs!

Oh thanks for the replies, it's just nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like this :)

card like you I always wore "natural" makeup but now I just look washed out! I've tried using a bit more makeup but I don't really know how to put it on properly - my 15 year old DD has more of an ideal than me :)

I've been to makeup counters and had it done but I always feel a bit "overdone" I guess I just still want the natural look but with more coverage !

I do colour my hair which looks ok but my hair which use to be healthy now looks dry and straw like - I use moisture shampoo, conditioner and argan oil which helps with the condition but flattens it so I spend ages getting volume at the top - see what I mean...... it's just all hard work!

Fight the battle to feel good, not the battle to carry on looking the same. We're all going to lose that one .
I'm nearly 52 but feel I've got time and a bit more cash to spend after years of child rearing so want to make the most of it. The face is sagging a bit but it's the same for my friends and DH; no point comparing myself to luscious 20 some-things.
Make the most of the next part of journey - it's better than the alternative.

I wear bb cream and lip gloss every day and only wear proper make up at night if I go out. I think eyeshadow looks terrible on me so I have ditched it. I like a very pale fake tan too to cover the bags

if you had £500 or so to spend on your face at age 50, what would be the best thing to invest in? e.g., course of facials, peels, or something like filler or botox depending on the individual face of course.

I think if your face/skin is looking as good as possible at 50 then you will automatically look nice!

I think a lot of skin and face stuff is genes. Botox is amazing and I think regular exfoliation (gentle) and face oils and good moisturiser work wonders. Depends on the issue though. My biggest fear is jowls even though in my family there aren't many but I think I could be the 1st! Don't think there is anything for those.

Well, luckily I have the answer for you

I could have written your post lays week, and was particularly fed up with trying to find a foundation as my previous staple, DW , was just making me look even more ancient.

My friend and I went on a wee turn around a department store at the weekend, and both ended up buying this shiseido foundation.

I know it sounds silly, bit I really do feel much better. I think it's knowing that even if I am still bit horrified by how old I look (how did that happen?!) at least I can make myself look bit more fresh faced with the aid of some good slap.

Also tinted brows and lashes can transform a face and a bit of colour.

Personally, looking round my lovely, much older WI DFs, I'd say get a hair cut that suits who you are and then spend the rest of your money on good quality clothes that fit.

Honestly you only notice make up on older women when they have too much on. I'm 46 and no amount of ££££ on make up is going to stop me looking 46.

Anymore than ££££ convinced anyone I had blemish free skin before I got wrinkles as well.

Noddy I'm sure you don't need to worry about jowls! but maybe some kind of facial exercises would help to prevent them coming? I don't know anyone who's ever kept up with facial exercise though!!!

What about those acid peels and fruit things and drastic chemical action?

I agree about tinted eyebrows. Another thing - get your face threaded - I mean your whole face. I have a horror of hairy chin / side of face etc. I think that is ageing, and facial hair seems to thicken post 45-ish ime.

Local has that foundation got a "sheen" to it? It's just a seem to have developed a greasy t-zone so although a matte foundation is too flat for me the ones that have a sheen to them make me look too shiny by the end of the day.

noddy that's a good idea. Would tinted lashes look less stumpy? As for the eyebrows they seem to have thinned out! so they actually look quite sparse and patchy, do you think tinting would help?

I'm painting a very attractive picture of myself aren't I :)

I am 48 and I have the same problem. Even in a full face of make up I just never feel that I have it in me to look really great anymore.

I'm about to hit 60 and have realised a couple of things.

Firstly, your looks DO change with age, no matter how hard you try to stop that, so acceptance is the first (very difficult) challenge!

Secondly, I think it's even more important to establish what styles, colours etc work for you and your figure. I have finally realised I need tailored, classic styles, as frills, flounces and droopy bits really work against me.

Thirdly, yes, I do need a bit of makeup everyday to look my best. Not loads, but some foundation, mascara and tinted lipbalm make all the difference.

Finally, a decent, easily styled haircut. I have mine very short - not because I think older women should, but because I know it suits my face. But if I leave it and don't run some product through it and spike it up a bit I look at least 60. With a bit of texture in it I could (so I'm told) pass for a good few years younger.

Oh, and finally, finally, smiling really helps lift those jowls and makes everyone look better.

You are not aloneop. I'm 55 and, like you say, it's more of a struggle. I'm lucky in a way in that I've always been vain so I just do the same as always. I don't find it a pain-in fact I've always tarted myself up. You're right, though, imo, in that it it is much harder. Your body changes, so you need more exercise to keep toned. Your face changes, so you need to work much harder at making good choices. Your norks head south, so you have to work harder at finding the best scaffolding. And you may feel like crap too, which makes everything harder. I've never gone in for the "natural" look so I just do what I've always done.I don't have any grey, thankfully, so I carry on highlighting as usual. My hair is short and choppy anyway, so lowish maintenance. Putting on slap of a morning is just a habit and takes 5 minutes. I use primer now, which makes life easier. I use Garnier or similar to moisturise. I use a Marksies' foundation, a taupey brown eyeshadow, loads of lippy. I find urban decay best for staying on, and I always use lipliner, otherwise colour bleeds. I use a lightweight Rimmel loose powder. And nail varnish.

I can't wear any old thing any more, but choose carefully. I find the current fashions unflattering to pretty much everyone. My current look seems to be: leggings, jeans, boots, oversized shirts, massive watch, big bag, cross body bag, big jewellery. I think ditsy equals ageing.

And there's always cosmetic intervention. I'm sure most slebs have had it done even if they say they haven't.

Yes, it is quite dewy. I have very dry skin, but my friend has oily skin and is obsessed by not being shiny, especially in the t zone.

She is also very happy with it, obviously with bit of powder brushed over danger shine areas, although I have to say that she looked a lot younger with that little bit of sheen...

If you live near a shop that does it, might be worth having a look- the assistant was really good and let us try it, full face, before buying.

Although dewy, it is proper coverage and stays on.

Plus after reading this thread, am going to book lash tint and eyebrow shape. Used to do this all the time, but have let it slip....

I bought my very youthful 70+ MIL one of those home dye eyebrow/lash sets and they have made a huge difference to her patchy eyebrows. People dye their hair but neglect their eyebrows as they get older and it's the one area that can make a huge difference imo.

Oh no! Reading that, I have just remembered that I had a horrible dream last night. I was too busy worrying about my chin bristles, my face hair had grown long and brown down the sides, and DH thought it was funny. :(

I have come to the conclusion that a good haircut is priceless and makes the grey look less messy. Makeup is definitely harder - I do not even try eyeshadow any more, but use mascara and eyeliner in a softer colour than black or my once thick lashed eyes fade away. Having trouble with foundation too. I have a powder one that has been brilliant for the last 5 years and has suddenly stopped working.

Having recently been taken off the pill and dumped into the middle of perimenopause, I am finding the combination of spots, grease and wrinkles hard to deal with.

I find lash tinting a bit of a waste of money but eyebrow tint and shape (wax, not thread) worth it. Even if I startle myself when I look in the mirror for a day or so.

Think I may book some botox after reading this! Also I had a bit of a tan from a holiday earlier this month and look so much better so may mix a tiny bit of fake with my moisturiser at m=night once a week or something.

I find that less makeup is actually better as you get older. Seems to look more youthful. Having some lighter highlights in your hair around the face seems to throw light onto the face and remove dark shadows that darker hair can cause. Tinting eyebrows. Face exercises. Looking on the brighter side of life. Weights, walking and SMILE.