50 years old and fed up of trying to look nice :(

[RoyCroppersOldBag]

Why is it all so hard now ?? 50 years old and post menopause and I'm so fed up of looking crap all the time - it just seems so much hard work to even just look reasonable :(

When I was younger any old skincare, makeup and shampoo seemed to work, slapped it on and I looked good(ish) NOW I buy good stuff and spend twice as long getting reading to just look vaguely passable!! I'm totally fed up and feel and look awful. Should I just accept it or carry on fighting a battle I don't seem to be winning?

Thanks for reading this far - rant over :)

My life is full and enriched by everything I do and that includes looking after myself outside and in. I renovate old houses for a living and love what I do and I have a good social life and so don't think caring of my skin and dressing well takes away from that. I wouldn't gain anything by stopping what I do maybe a couple of hours a week which I don't need for more fulfilling things

MrsDavidBowie I applaud your sentiments but find the title of Leah Hardy's book a little disingenuous- she's not a doctor but a journalist.
There are other good books on meno by REAL drs out there.

Im the same noddy. Im not ready to give up looking good. It makes me feel good to look the best I can. No reason why you cant look good always. Whats the other option, giving up and not bothering and then saying take me as I am. Why? Looking good and keeping up with style keeps you feeling younger as well as looking and feeling good. Doesn't mean you don't have a life you enjoy either, just enhances that life.

Noddy, your work sounds so fulfilling. Would love to see some of the houses you have done up.

Another one here! Early fifties and the weight is piling on I've never worn makeup apart from mascara as I have very sensitive skin. I've dyed my hair to cover the grey. Thanks to putting on weight I have no clothes that fit well and no idea what to wear.

I'm perfectly aware that there are more important things in life - I'm sure we all are - but I still enjoy looking as good as I can and I probably always will. In fact in a funny kind of way, I enjoy it more now because it doesn't come as easily. I have to think about it but, when it does work, it's more satisfying.

Oh Happy how sad of you to think that one reaches an age when it's not worth taking care of your appearance.

It's a teensy bit holier than thou to preach that taking care over how we look is somehow shallow.

It's quite possible to take time to keep looking and feeling good AND doing fulfilling work. I am late 50s and have re-trained for 2 other careers in my 50s and run 2 small businesses, after a career in another profession.
Now that the DCs have left home I have more time, money and energy to spend on ME and I'm going to make myself look and feel as good as I can for as long as I can. Yes, it takes some time, but if you can't put time into yourself - on every level not just appearance- them how do you have anything to offer the world?

I'm 42. After a disastrous day shopping today I've realised that I'm going to need to spend more on myself if I want to look in any way presentable. I dread to think what it will be like at 52. The high streets love of acrylic and polyester isn't helping matters. Neither is the fact that I don't have a waist anymore and I've somehow acquired Margaret Thatcher eyelids.

burnished you are practically a baby! I agree completely, though, on the soul-destroying experience of shopping on the high street. It IS full of cheap nasty tat imo. And unflattering fashions, which don't look good on anyone, let alone us mature types. I've been looking for a pair of boots for ages. All that's available seems to be flat ankle boots, which cut me off at the lower leg and make me look even dumpier than usual. They don't even look good on the models. And I find biker jackets hard to wear too: flappy and bulk!enhancing.

I think the trick is to somehow dress elegantly without looking frumpy and that's really difficult it seems given the flouncy shapeless tat in the shops. It's a constant battle to find something flattering without spending a fortune.

Yes I'm aware of that pinkfrocks
I still think its a positive book and is cowritten by a doctor.

Agree with mrs DB it's a good book. Doctors and stats don't always tell the whole story or have all the answers! As I have learned over the years. I think it's a shame to think the only reason to look after yourself is if there is potential of people looking at you and once that is less likely you let that side go. It's part of me I think I'll always be thus way

There is already a great book out there that says the same and is written by a eminent gynae which I prefer...

www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Change-Choice-Integrated-Menopause/dp/0340828862/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1411023668&sr=8-2&keyw

burnished, I totally agree, I was in town yesterday and saw nothing I would buy. All cheap and nasty looking and very unflattering. I recently bought some new jeans that are meant to lift and sculpt from m&s, but they aren't flattering either. I find no tops I like, the necklines currently in the shops do nothing for me and mostly they are nasty material that makes me sweat.

I find primark push up jeans fantastic and their £7 skinnies. Would never buy expensive jeans again. Also if there is a brand you like which you know fits and suits you ebay is worth a look people get rid of perfect things. I would rather something second hand but quality than loads of cheap stuff.

I love this thread.
Am 47 and a grandmother,but still have a young child myself.
Am definitely not ready to embrace grey hair and marks and Spencer Classic collection.
I have lost a lot of weight this year and after a lifetime of doing no exercise I now do classes three times a week and Shred at home.
I think for me being fit makes me feel younger and of course lifts my mood.
I have below shoulder length highlighted hair in a sort of Jennifer Aniston colour,well that's what I aspire to anyway!
Short hair makes me feel frumpy but I admire it on others.
I always wear make up,foundation is difficult as I have oily skin so anything other than Double Wear doesn't last, but I don't want a flat powdered look which is so ageing . I use a taupe eyeshadow and a waterproof mascara,Benefit blusher and a Bobbi Brown lipstick in a rosy brown.
I always have my brows waxed and use Benefit Browzing to shape and colour, on y he advice of my make up artist daughter!
Clothes wise I have ditched tunic and leggings styles for more slim line cigarette trousers ,skinny or boyfriend jeans,harem style trousers occasionally especially the Next silky plain navy and charcoal ones, and Next is a shop I never usually buy from.
I like Mint Velvet style clothing,a sort of simple elegance rather than 'fun'.
I used to buy a lot from Boden but I don't like anything this season,apart from their Bistro or Chelsea trousers.
I have taken a liking to Whistles, their jeans are great and I like the modern silhouette of the dresses . Yes they are pricy but iv has a few Ebay bargains!

Phew,epic post there

I agree with all of that. Dressing fun is a huge mistake

It is Noddy
I have decided a pared down elegance will be my new style.

GW- if you like pared down elegance you might like The White Company.

I haven't bought anything this season- and don't rate their summer stuff- but sometimes they do nice tops or knitwear that looks good with simple trousers.
Mind their prices have rocketed recently so I wait for discounts or sales.

pared down elegance

Exquisite! I'm adopting that mantra from today onwards....

pink I love The White Company
went into their new Truro store on holiday with DD 2
I could have bought it all.
I love shades of taupe, grey and off White
Plus navy is my colour rather than black.
Dd couldn't get her teenage head around it at all

I too am a fifty something.

I think the trick is to reinvent yourself and try some new styles. Upgrading and revamping what worked when I was younger does become an effort.

Ironically this has nor meant surrendering to being frumpy. I now wear some fashion and trendy stuff I never wore before.

pink I agree about White Co. Some of their stuff is lovely, although pricey. There's ebay bargains to be had, though, for those of us not so well endowed in the wallet department. I agree with the pp who mentioned the "pared back elegant" look. It's quite hard to achieve that look imo with the current stuff in the shops. The neckline s are too high and sort of cut you off at the neck. Other neckline s are too round. Leggings are too thin. Elegant, plain boots do not favour cankles. Material is just crap-nylony and sweaty. Nice stuff is hideously expensive. Argghhhhh......

Georgina can I ask how you would wear harem-style trousers in the winter? I have a pair from next which I never thought I'd wear but I did, but with summery shoes.

I don't really agree with you there Bugger!

I admit I don't have lots of clothes as I work mainly from home...and my social life is casual.

But I do find it easy-ish to put together some separates from a mix of stores- just bought some cigarette trousers from Jigsaw and will wear with a cropped cardi or maybe a more floaty type top from Mint Velvet.

TWC wool tunics ( not much choice this year so far) with thick woolly tights and knee length or ankle boots.

White Stuff occasionally have some nice plain knitted dresses .

I don't wear leggings much because they aren't warm in winter IMO. I'd rather go for wool patterned tights and nice riding boots.

Got some skinny-ish velvet jeans from Boden that look casual but smartish with a nice top and ankle boots.

buggerthebotox
That is something I don't know the answer to!
They have elasticated bottoms so I don't think ankle boots will sit right,although actually I did wear them in may time before it warmed up with some Clarks peep toe shoe boots so I must have a try on and play around with my boot collection!
Off top of my head I think pointed toe boots with a heel may work better than chunky ones,and fit with my Pared Down Elegance mantra

2.bp.blogspot.com/-KO672CXg0vQ/UjCcudY651I/AAAAAAAAZRM/lLjRwVrWAH4/s1600/PicMonkey+Collagehush1.jpg This is how I wear them in winter pretty much