What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

Ha, noddy, just looked at your profile .... You ARE stunning! Fantastic bone structure.

I agree that Noddy is stunning and does bear a resemblance to Kate Winslett but is actually far better than Winslett I'm too shy to post a face pic on Mumsnet - sorry. (bashfull emoticon?)

I agree with the poster who said that the clothes retailers and manufacturers are missing a trick in not producing a separate line for the 40-50 somethings and instead, lumping them in with the 60-70 somethings instead. Those of us in our 40s and 50s still work and socialise and have the money to pay for serious fashion of the high-street variety.

Aaargh, someone else who seems to think 'working and socialising' stop after 50s. They really don't, you know! And nor necessarily does having the money to spend on good clothes.

I think the following are frumpy;

Frizzy, unkempt hair
hair too "styled"
huge flowery prints-especially dresses
linen trousers
anything that could be classed as nautical style
things that don't fit properly
ragtag underwear
things with holes/stains/faded/cheap looking see-through materials
some bright make-up colours
Sandals like saltwater/those awful walking sandals
anoraks

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I've seen plenty of frumpy looking young uns.

I'm on my phone so can't link to photos but just google Angelina Jolie, she's my double really, not Kate ahem...

My mil is 65 and looks fantastic, she's always done up and wears Primark. She loves a bit of sparkle (which I just can't do) and always looks amazing. My mum is 81 now but has always been frumpy. Everything was secretary navy for as long as I remember. I was horrified when she started buying mens socks for herself and wearing sweatshirts.

Kate Middleton is IMO frumpy. As is Pippa.

Can I add cap sleeves to the list?
Ill fitting underwear.

Walking gear - trousers/shoes/ fleaces arent frumpy on someone who actually walks and there is nothing wrong with a waterproof coat when its hammering down with rain.

Agree about the walkiing gear, grumble.

I don't know anyone (female) in their 60s or 70s who works but then again, I am in a Midlands backwater and it is very traditional around here (wives only go out with husbands type of thing). I admit that's not the case down South and in cities. People tend to be very traditional here. I am not . I don't fit in.

I don't think Kate & Pippa are frumpy at all. They dress traditionally/appropriately granted but they don't fit my definition of frumpy as they are young, beautiful, well-dressed and slim and vibrant.

You can be young, slim and frumpy. I believe I'm around the same age as Kate Middleton (32) and height (5'10). Nobody would wear flesh coloured tights. They are frumpy. Kate wears them with every outfit. The super formal coats are frumpy as is her OTT blusher and eyeliner. Perfect blow drys are very frumpy and try hard rich wives of Texas (I recently visited Texas and saw a lot f this look).

great thread!

'frump' = unattractive, and the point made right at the top is the main one - no-one who smiles is a frump. Actual body appearance and face have nothing to do with it. I give you Angelina Jolie (again); in her real wedding photo she has the model sulk (and a ghastly shiny dress) and looks awful. In the 'Mr and Mrs Smith' photos, where admittedly she is wearing a better dress, she is smiling and is beautiful. I hope she was happy at the real wedding.

and yes, it is all about clothes for the occasion. Ballet pumps and a fashion coat in the rain shout 'fool'. Whereas walking shoes and a decent coat would not cut it at a smart evening out.

BTW I would hope that most in their late 60s and beyond don't have to work.

But walking boots and a sensible anorak aren't necessary in the rain. They're practical but choosing comfort over style is frumpy! Loner high heeled boots with black tight and a mac would look far better IMO.

I meant long high heeled not loner

I have a great idea OP. Go shopping with a best friend. Set a budget, split up and spend an hour or so buying an outfit for each other. Buy what you think the other one should wear. Go back home, hand over the outfits and try on.

I did this with a friend and she bought me an above the knee dress. I would never had chosen it myself but after the initial shock i got used to it. I now see myself differently and dress differently.

Bad hair.
Fat limbs.

I know because that's me.

Loafers - you can't judge people in the rain for wearing a rain coat.
You don't know their circumstances, distance they need to travel etc.
Long boots and a Mac with an umbrella is great if you can hop in a car and get out at your destination. Walking to the train station, waiting for the train and then walking to your office will involve something a bit more hardcore. My station car park floods and requires wellies in torrential rain - I have proper shoes in my bag with a heel for when I get to the office.

Rather off thread, but actually I was thinking of people in their 60s who , like my friends, choose to work, at least part-time, because they find it stimulating and fulfilling.

LoafersOrLouboutins firstly, very jealous of your 5'10" stature - very hard to be frumpy at that height and so easy to be willowy and stylish. Agree with you about Kate's wearing of beige tights/stockings - horrors! but I'd imagine she's been told to do it. Our work clothing policy states tights / stockings must be worn, together with formal business clothing when we are with clients and after all, she's working for the firm so must do as she's told I'd imagine.

Biosuisse I did that with my sister and it worked to a degree but she still sees me as her little sister and I'm not one for wearing short skirts wrinkly knees won't allow it

I've up-loaded a couple of pictures for anyone who is interested in having a look at my Winslett-alikeness but you have to become my Mumsnet Mate to see them

Polyhymnia I'd imagine that I'll still be working until I'm 70 and think if you can it's a great idea to remain fulfilled and stimulated. Where I live though, everyone seems hell-bent on retiring early and travelling/playing golf. I'd go mad.

My mil works pt on holiday cover for a cleaner so it's only occasionally but she loves it, stops her feeling old she says. And I agree about The Firm and beige tights. My pal in the 80s came to work in a skirt and bare legs, one old fella nearly keeled over as she wasn't wearing 'stockings' haha!

Specialistsubject I think Anjelina Jollie is truly stunning (both face and figure) but I'm always disappointed that she doesn't dress more stylishly given her vast wealth. I'd imagine she isn't remotely bothered though and has more important things to think about and let's face it, when you look like she does, why bother.

I think that's what made me think I look frumpy actually, my ordinaryness. I think it helps enormously if you're pretty, beautiful, striking, stunning, unusual etc. but if you're just run-of-the-mill, it's very easy to tip into being frumpy. I find that the heavier I get the more frumpy I look too.

I really need to kick Harvey Nicks up the arse and try to get another appointment with thier personal shopper (see other thread on the subject of being brushed off).

ffs their personal shopper

But walking boots and a sensible anorak aren't necessary in the rain. They're practical but choosing comfort over style is frumpy!

That's interesting, because I think I'd have just a strong opinion about someone who seemed to be choosing style over comfort!

If it's pissing down with rain and you're just going into town to get out of the house then why not wear an anorak and walking boots?

Frumpy is probably more a state of mind than anything else. The majority of people probably scrub up very nicely but if it's a wet, lazy day then sod it, why not wear jeans and walking boots and a practical anorak.

But I'll admit I'm not impressed by people who seem to care what they look like all the time.

enjoy it!

I have never contemplated a personal shopper

what if he/she doesn't get your style?

grumblepuss and thurlow are right. Clothes do have to be practical as well as attractive.

It is (relatively) easy to avoid frumpiness if one's habitat is chic city streets, as per the photos of Mme Allt in the link earlier in the thread. (Though I don't think that her favoured style of very-low, very-skinny jeans and very-high heels flatters anyone. To me, the proportions seem all wrong. They make even long legs look short, and the whole silhouette seems unbalanced.....)

So, loafers (and others), a (very friendly) challenge! If, like grumble, you have a long and uncovered journey to work, or if (for instance) you live among fields and mud and rain, or have animals or young children to look after, or do your own house-cleaning and gardening, what would you wear that was not frumpy? Because that's how a lot of us spend an awful lot of our time, and (I presume) we'd like to look as good as possible...

I suspect frumpiness is one of those "you know it when you see it" (or possibly "are it") things. Though I'm willing to go with a default "frump" if you're wearing anything from Per Una.

Bit eyebrow-raise at the "you need heels not to be frumpy", as I've literally never worn heels regularly (hurrah for weirdly shaped feet/MORTON'S TOE that give me bursitis if I don't wear super supportive shoes) and while I don't think I'm a fashion icon I'm not notably frumpy, IMO (current attire: leopard slip on skate shoes, J Brand skinnies, green All Saints top, and - horrors! - a necklace). Though maybe women are eyeing me up as a tragic case in the streets, who knows. I have even been known to wear a raincoat. In the rain.