What does one wear to a swingers club?

[SnowNotSoWhite]

Apart from not a lot
Have no intention of getting totally bare assed in public so any ideas on nice lingerie and clothes that would, be, ahem, accommodating?

Reading the responses actually makes the whole thing sound a lot more practical than some RL relationships. If people generally thought so much about their encounters perhaps our Relationships board wouldn't be such a sad place to visit. Perhaps the questionnaires are a little OTT, but actually probably more psychologically enlightening that those on Match dot com!

This is an example of a BDSM checklist that can be used by couples in negotiating their limits. It's very comprehensive ( 200 questions)

Makes very interesting reading..!

www.cepemo.com/checklist.html

Are these clubs actually held in nightclubs per se? Or other places?

I imagine quite dark rooms, but could be completely wrong?!

I know these are stupid questions but it all seems mysterious - like it's another world!

I read that list. There wasn't one I was even prepared to contemplate. I am the purest Madagascan vanilla.

Yes they are in actual nightclubs. There is one in a club near Liverpool street, Torture Garden used to be held in a club in Brixton under a church! They tend to move venues quite a lot. Swingers clubs tend to be in ove venue that has been specifically designed for play. There is a huge one near Heathrow which has a swimming pool, jacuzzi and cinema. Some swingers organisations might rent a flat for an evening and one time I went to one where a gay spa in Covent Garden had been hired for the evening. There used to be one on a ship on the Thames till The Sun did an exposé and they lost the venue ( bloody hypocrites IMO since they use sex to sell their paper..!)

They often have dress up themes too, animals, tartan, rubber, school days, Halloween even Alice in Wonderland, it's great fun!

When putting together the bdsm lists, information about bdsm ect do you just look up the required info then print it out and put it in a folder and add to it as you go to various bdsm events or do you just look it up when the info is needed ?.

I haven't read all of the replies... this thread grew legs.

Out of interest, did the op ever come back or did he/she just ask the question and disappear?

Thanks to this thread I have booked myself a ticket for torture gardens next event near me.

I'm enjoying planning my outfit and feeling things I hadn't let myself think about since my previous relationship started 8 years ago.

All from a style and Beauty thread

Thanks destiny and kissing

Yes op did come back once, I think they were a little overwhelmed possibly

Been reading this thread with interest.

Very enlightening, thanks.

The Victorian, I'm not totally sure what you are asking but no I'm not that organised to have a folder! The info is all on the Internet anyway. For example there is The London Fetish Scene website which has a calendar with details of clubs, workshops, munches etc.

Herrena, that's brilliant! I'm so pleased for you, I never know how much to share about this stuff as people can be a bit judgey but glad it's helped you. Have a fantastic time!

This is the best thread ever
I don't think I've genuinely LOLd on MN before now!

Destinysdaughter the idea came from American pie with the book of love although this was more articles about various sexual activities i wondered if a similar type or style of book/folder existed for bdsm.

What is a munch please and what sort of things are there workshops on?

Hmm well there are workshops on bondage, different kinds of rope work, caning, whipping, breath play, usung electricity etc. I even went to one once on cock and ball torture but the council wouldn't allow live demonstrations so they showed a power point presentation instead..!!

A Munch is a social gathering for people in the scene often in a pub. You don't have to dress up and newbies are welcome!

I know I will!

I have been once before a lifetime ago (the one under the rail way bridge in Manchester) it was amazing!

It's an interesting philosophical subject too, things like bdsm and non monogamy have such huge cultural misconceptions.
The extent to which your average couple do not discuss sexual boundaries and allow each other to violate these for years because they don't even know they exist is horrific.
So many couples have bad sex because they have never found the voice to tell/show their partner what they like.

Many people insist that monogamy is black and white but if you question them more closely you can easily highlight the shades if grey in individual opinion (the bed sharing thread springs to mind) Most monogamous couple don't feel the need to define these boundaries because they are obvious

Non monogamy has to be discussed to within an inch of its life to work

Thanks for your answer - this has been a fascinating read for the uninitiated!

Amazing how MN just keeps on giving. Every day is, indeed, a school day

Herrena, I totally agree with you!

And to answer a question from up thread no there is no BDSM Book of Love ( great idea tho), but there are lots of books, e.g. The Loving Dominant, The Mistress Manyal etc. there's also lots of Internet forums where people can ask questions and learn stuff...

Manual!

A quick Google has just told me that one of the clubs mentioned here is literally on my doorstep. I pass it every day and had no idea that such a place existed. You really do learn something new every day!

Wow, how do you feel about that..?

to everyone after attending a bdsm event do you and your partner talk about what you liked and did not like?