What does one wear to a swingers club?

[SnowNotSoWhite]

Apart from not a lot
Have no intention of getting totally bare assed in public so any ideas on nice lingerie and clothes that would, be, ahem, accommodating?

we have not met anyone we know at parties. we have seen people we know on swingers sites and steer well clear!

our swinger friends accidentally got chatting to couple with children at same school as their DD! lots of faces the next day! haha

reminded me of a funny story about bumping into people you know at swingers parties

It was certainly an interesting place to (unexpectedly) meet his cousin for the first time ever...

I'm not that outgoing and sociable - I'm quite often the one sat at the edge of parties with a drink and not really saying anything. I do rely on other people making the first move - I'm okay once the conversation's started, just not good at starting them. I went to a networking event for work last week, and the level of noise was a bit much for me, all those people talking at once. But it's okay, it's different somehow.

This thread has made me stay up past my bed time!

Thank you so much to the posters who have metaphorically opened their doors.

I find the women as sex objects/ ownership of personal sexuality argument impossible to articulate.

I consider myself to be a feminist and yet I love fetish clubs and burlesque.

I found that my time working in the sex industry was an incredibly healing experience.

People don't want to hear that, it doesn't fit, but for me its true.

Someone up thread said sex can be a magical sacred thing that you share with someone you love, or it can be casual fun with strangers/friends.

I have always considered this to be my very odd attitude to sex and I found it very reassuring to hear someone else say it.

I would also agree that some people just don't experience jealousy in the same way others do.

One thing I have learned (thanks to kisses' post) js that the safe word system can't be relied on.

This is so interesting!

Coming from a past abusive relationship where my exh would continually try and bully me into sexual situations, including Swingers Clubs, I would worry that you're all having sex with people who really don't want to be there.

Shabby, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. As with anything in like there will always be positives and negative for different people at different times

True Herrena and I've slightly regretted my post because I know my experience probably is incredibly rare.

shabby dont regret your post. it is an important aspect to remember. there is a private party that we now aviod where there are women there who do not look happy to be there, so we aviod those couples and also let the venue holders know . there also a small number of men that clearly have bought prostitutes with them, we also aviod those places too. lots of places have regular faces that you get to know and most clubs are quite selective.

Not at all shabby, while opening people's eyes to the positive realities it is important to open peoples eyes to the negative realities (which are often very different from the perceived ones.)

I had no idea some men took prostitutes although it is obvious now someone has pointed it out.

In an ideal works you would hope that people would pick up that someone was unhappy to be there and report it to the organisers, unfortunately the very nature of bdsm means that some people would
assume it was part of the act

Hopefully you have made people a little more aware of that possibility.

There are certainly checks at some venues. DP got asked with concern about our last session while I was off clearing up the kit. She was fine, but it was nice that she was asked. Probably won't be on our next visit, like.

I have always hated the word " fun". When its applied to sex, it just makes me want to hurl! I must be some kind of pervert.

How can anyone hate the word 'fun'?

You sound like a real party girl

The more I hear, the less I like.

The word fun with the word adult in front it males me feel unwell.

the fact that some men who want to participate can only do by hiring prostitutes makes me wonder how many other men resort to coercion.

I appreciate that there are women who genuinely & freely take part, but the numbers are clearly no where near enough to satisfy the numbers of men who want to take part

DP got asked with concern about our last session while I was off clearing up the kit

it sounds as if it is widely acknowledged that the woman may not be there of their own free will...are there checks to see if the men are happy to be there?

I am a party girl! (Well, I used to be..)
Oh yes, nfk, Adult Fun. Bleee!

ifnot I totally get it! The two words... Just... Nope

Gosh, there is a dress code? Or an undress code? Do let us know when you find out.

its not just a huge shag fest where you are stripped of your clothes at the door. a lot of people just go to socialise, have a drink and chill out, perhaps enjoy a nude swim. we have been to places before and whem we got there just didnt feel into playing. some also just go to watch and get off by others having it off in front of them.
you can usually tell couples that are just into each other and are just enjoying having sex in that environment.

There is no pressure to join in, sometimes its more fun just to watch!

DP got asked with concern about our last session while I was off clearing up the kit
it sounds as if it is widely acknowledged that the woman may not be there of their own free will...

That's not what it sounds like to me.

There is a certain camaraderie in such fringe groups, especially where everyone takes part in risky behaviour. People often ask each other if they are ok, etc - it is part of looking out for each other. Very common in the hard drug scene, for example.

Where a pinny with pockets, for the condoms, wet wipes, douche bag, gold spot (for them not you), femfresh spray etc etc

That bit about asking DP if she was okay sounds to me like it was an extreme session and worried even hardcore sadomasochists. But who knows? I wasn't there. Thank God.

I always think they must be more than a bit whiffy tbh.

All those bums and bits....yuk