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What does one wear to a swingers club?

627 replies

SnowNotSoWhite · 08/02/2014 23:41

Apart from not a lot Grin
Have no intention of getting totally bare assed in public so any ideas on nice lingerie and clothes that would, be, ahem, accommodating?

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 09/02/2014 21:52

As much as I love cheese toasties I think I'll pass on swinging

nkf · 09/02/2014 22:13

I know the theory about the sub being in control but I have also read equally convincing accounts of women reviewing their involvement in the scene (is that the right word?) and coming to the conclusion that it was ritualised abuse. Trust, honest and communication are difficult for many people. I don't see why one sort of relationship should be deemed to have the monopoly on it. It's just as important for marriage and you can see on the relationship board how often those qualities are missing. Why should they be prevalent on the swinger/fetish/BDSM scene?

KissesBreakingWave · 09/02/2014 22:16

nkf, hellllllll no. The last argument DP and I had (excluding the ones where I was being an arse, I'm fallible and still have bad habits to lose) was about her not using the safeword when she bloody well ought to have - not just in my judgment, but objectively.

She's now occasionally moaning about sessions cut short, but I - and any other self-respecting top - would rather put up with a bit of earache for stopping short than get it wrong the other way.

And I got a bit of a (mild, she got the point) moan recently for not doing X when she plainly wanted it, but she hadn't raised it beforehand and I wasn't going to take her 'Oooooh yes' at face value when she was elated and emotionally flying after what I'd just done to her.

Destinysdaughter, my experience is that control is shared much like between the lead and follow in a partner dance. The lead (dominant) is providing the energy on which the follow (submissive) is moving. Both with a role to play, each useless without the other, and in constant and close communication to make the dance as a whole work. And, of course, either can walk off the dancefloor at any time if the other gets it wrong. The submissive needs a safeword where a dancer doesn't because, well, stopping takes cooperation in a fetish session whereas either dancer can just ... stop.

And DAMN if this isn't a thread that's a long way from where it started.

Destinysdaughter · 09/02/2014 22:20

Kisses that's a lovely way to put it! :)

KissesBreakingWave · 09/02/2014 22:31

DP and I dance as well. The parallels are obvious enough that's a massive source of private jokes between us.

That and the fact that my phone autocorrects 'dancefloor' to 'antelope'.

VoyageDeVerity · 09/02/2014 22:31

This is fascinating

lurkingaround · 09/02/2014 22:51

Nothing to add but Shock and Grin at all of this on S&B!
The last place I would have expected to learn this stuff. And boy, what a sheltered life I've led!
Fascinating indeed.

LittleBabyPigsus · 09/02/2014 23:00

I must have a very low sex drive - it all sounds like far too much effort for me and I'd rather stay in with a book! It is fascinating though.

Only1scoop · 09/02/2014 23:04

Fascinating I agree....
No pampas grass on this thread Grin

Destinysdaughter · 09/02/2014 23:06

Little baby, at the club I mentioned up thread there is a lounge where you can just sit and watch TV if you're not in the mood/ don't want to miss your favourite show...

SauceForTheGander · 09/02/2014 23:09

LittleBaby - you and I could watch the tele and enjoy the food buffet in the non sex area

Suzannewithaplan · 09/02/2014 23:14

I dunno, the way you put it Kisses makes it all sound rather precious and contrived

Only1scoop · 09/02/2014 23:14

Little and Sauce count me in for the Tv room and yummy buffet.
Watching tv wouldn't make us 'voyeurs' would it?

Emlou1984 · 09/02/2014 23:31

Wow, informative and totally unexpected lol, not sure about this buffet lark though, dettol and sanitising gel first!

SauceForTheGander · 09/02/2014 23:38

Actually I'm starting to wonder if its not a bit fetish to go to an orgy just for the buffet and a bit of tele.

SauceForTheGander · 09/02/2014 23:38

I do bloody love a buffet though

Emlou1984 · 09/02/2014 23:41

Well I'll bring my anti-bac gel and sauce you bring the sandwiches!

LittleBabyPigsus · 09/02/2014 23:41

Not sure I could stomach a buffet at a swingers' club - I think they're pretty unhygienic at the best of times! And I wouldn't like to run the risk of spunk on my book Grin

Emlou1984 · 09/02/2014 23:53

No I don't like sticky pages either! Although I reckon after a couple of glasses of wine I 'd feel compelled to join in, or at least wander, may seem rude not to!

waterlego6064 · 09/02/2014 23:57

I've always imagined swingers' clubs to be a bit whiffy Sad

Interesting thread though!

One buffet seemed so delicious that one poor man was left with his arse catching breeze hanging out of a solitary glory hole, with no one paying it any attention because they were swarming over the cheese cubes. At least that's what we think it said. It was in German.

Hahahahahahaha!

farmernarmer · 09/02/2014 23:59

destiny is the one in n. london a place for fun?!
also been to the one near Heathrow!

wonder if we have already met!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 10/02/2014 00:02
farmernarmer · 10/02/2014 00:11

dh and I have been to a number of clubs round the country. I love watching him with another woman, and of course joining In!

we have made some really good friends, and we will go out for dinner then go home and have fun together! Grin

I think dh and I are very open and honest with each other as a result.

Destinysdaughter · 10/02/2014 00:12

Farmer, yes it is!

Was just thinking about your second question which reminded me of a funny story about bumping into people you know at swingers parties but am not going to tell it. Think I have over shared quite enough for one day..! :)

LittleBabyPigsus · 10/02/2014 00:16

It sounds like you have to be quite outgoing and sociable to be a 'good' swinger though? I am a real introvert and couldn't be doing with all those people.