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Original poster

Crepe Expectations

1000 replies

Cremolafoam · 03/08/2013 07:32

Will this do?Smile

OP posts:
motherinferior · 31/08/2013 09:09

Oh Ruby.

hattymattie · 31/08/2013 09:22

Ruby what's he decided? It's so hard when they're grown but still vulnerable. Well done though on letting him go alone. I'm not sure I'd have been able to do this - it's so hard to let them make their décisions - especially when you might have other opinions (bit of helicopter parenting going on here).

bigTillyMint · 31/08/2013 09:29

Oh ruby, big hugs for you and your boy {{{}}}
I bet you've been browsing all the home mags/websites for months for your new sofa's, etc!

I think I have cystitis - the sachets have not cleared it, so I'm waiting for the out-of-hours doctor to call me back.

alto1 · 31/08/2013 09:34

Ruby, hope he will let you give him that hug. I made dreadful A level choices, mainly for lack of advice. Don't know how I'll cope when dd is at that stage, especially seeing how resistant her cousins have been to advice in any form.

All clear here on 20th, can I join you? Won't be stylish or beautiful but would like to see how it's done Grin and put names to faces

bigTillyMint · 31/08/2013 09:36

Great news Alto!

Stropps
Cremo
MrsS
MI
BTM
Ruby
QQ
BD
Herbs
Beachy
CV
Addle
Alto1

hattymattie · 31/08/2013 09:43

Gosh - thought alto and addle were the same person Blush

Blackduck · 31/08/2013 10:31

Blindly we are going to need name badges at this rate Grin
Boiler works a treat - hoorah!

MrsS enjoy your week - and come home for a rest. How did the interview go?

Blackduck · 31/08/2013 10:31

That should have been blimey

Stropperella · 31/08/2013 10:41

Oh Ruby, that sounds hard. I hope things work out well for your ds.

I am completely dreading this year as it's GCSE year for dd and she was lecturing me and her friend last night about how it's not worth working really hard as she'll only be disappointed when she doesn't do well. Confused The relentless negativity clearly really surprised her friend, who is a positive and hard-working person but not (yet) in high sets, whereas dd currently is. Dd told me last week that she has loads of homework to do before the start of term on Thursday and she hasn't even found a book yet, let alone opened it. All she does is bang on about how much she hates her school, but a) it's the only school in town, b) it gets the best results in the county and c) she has disliked all schools ever since she started going. It's all not boding well. I wish I knew how best to deal with it, but I have absolutely no clue, which doesn't bode well either. I just try to offer positive advice, but that goes down like a lead balloon, so then I bite my tongue, but it all ends up making me so cross. Which gets us nowhere. I am actually wondering whether an ed psych would be able to help.

bigTillyMint · 31/08/2013 10:58

Stropps, I have no clue how to deal with teens either - it's definitely the hardest part of parenting for me. I would and do do exactly the same as you! Are there Learning Mentors at the school? Have you spoken with the school about the issues? Would they agree to an Ed Psych assessment do you think?

DD can be similarly negative a lot about school - it is so hard trying to gee them up and make them more positive. Maybe it's something about being in the top sets and afraid of "failing"? I was not in the top sets for O'levels, and I don't remember feeling such pressure.

Original poster
Cremolafoam · 31/08/2013 11:03

Oh strops
Is there a teacher in charge of pastoral care at the school. I think I'd start there and make an appt to see her/ him. They will have seen it all before and may have
A strategies that you can use to help dd
B keep an eye on dd in school.
I do think its a maturity thing.
It's good that her friend is a 'worker' as at least she has a fried who has a positive outlook and is not encouraging her to muck about.

Feel for everyone enduring the teenage yearsThanks testing timesSad

OP posts:
QueenQueenie · 31/08/2013 11:09

I may be (and am quite likely to be) completely wrong but I do think that what they need more than anything is to be listened to and empathised with, to feel that you're "on their side". I do lots of agreeing that it must be very hard and horrid not to enjoy school and very difficult to be facing so many exams and to be worried about failing etc...

I can vividly remember my own mum basically refusing to hear anything less than positive (NOT saying that's what you are doing Stropps!) saying, "of course you don't hate school, don't be so ridiculous" etc and it made me feel very alone and misunderstood, as well as absolutely fucking furious.

They need you to be able to withstand their own anxieties and fears without joining in. Oh, and don't underestimate the importance of staying very calm and providing lots of food and clean laundry...

Please don't for a moment think I've got all this teen business sorted because I soooo haven't. But that is what I feel I've learnt so far seeing Ds1 through GCSEs last year.

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/08/2013 11:09

There is just so much of DH's crap everywhere, I don't know how I am going to get it all back. I went out this morning and got two suitcases - they are both absolutely full of his stuff. It looks like we may need a third. I had a nice weekend planned, and now it looks as if I will have to sort out this packing. I was going to get my hair cut and highlighted and go out and have fun. Someone is coming round this afternoon to do some cleaning. I think that as each room is cleaned, I will close it, so that is one less thing to worry about, and essentially live out of the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom.

QueenQueenie · 31/08/2013 11:14

Oh Mrs S, you do have a lot on your plate. That plan re retreating before the cleaners like the retreat from Moscow (is that right? History rather shaky) sounds an excellent one.
Have you enquired of dh quite what he had in mind for you to do with all his belongings? I'd be tempted to say "you did only leave things you didn't want anymore for binning didn't you?" and see what he says before waiting for him to propose a solution. (But I'm mean like that).

motherinferior · 31/08/2013 11:21

Sod teenage tantrums, I just stormed out of the house in a huff. I am going to read obscure books in the British Library and buy one of their expensive sandwiches.

It didn't help that DP pointed out how filthy my desk at home is. He has an office. A proper office. With other people to clean it.

MrsS, agree with QQ.

motherinferior · 31/08/2013 11:24

DD1 is complaining about being set for more subjects next year. I find it hard to sympathise...Grin

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/08/2013 12:08

I have started chucking stuff out of the kitchen. Why didn't we do this before? Oh and I went to put some towels in the dryer and found that it is absolutely full of DH's clothes. Angry

beachyhead · 31/08/2013 12:48

I think he may have taken the, 'well, I'm taking a girl and two cats to the UK, I'm sure she will be fine with these few remaining bits and bobs'

hattymattie · 31/08/2013 13:14

Well I can't match Mrs S for turmoil but we have to finish emptying out the attic for the roofers on Tuesday. This has been an ongoing project for weeks and I'm really not looking forward to having men scrambling around outside of my house on scaffolding able to look in at inopportune moments.

Love the flounce MI - maybe I should start doing this although can't complain too much about DD's at the moment. I'm not counting my chickens though until they're earning and independent. Personally I think it's DS who's going to give me all the aggro'.

Getting very Envyabout crepey meet up. Will I still be allowed in once you all know each other?

aftermay · 31/08/2013 13:22

Hello. After seeing variations of this thread title for a while I finally had a peek today (woke up in an S&B mood). I read a couple of pages so I thought I'd say hello as it feels creepy to read and not post. Not many links!? :)

Original poster
Cremolafoam · 31/08/2013 13:34

Hattie I for one am disappointed you can't make it . Please dont feel excluded . Hopefully you will be able to make it another time.

Aftermay- welcome !
We have ended up discussing everything from hoovers to chicken keeping on this thread . S&b notes tend to be random I'm afraidGrin

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 31/08/2013 13:42

QQ your advice sounds spot-on - have been slowly coming to the realisation that this is what DD needs. However, I am not very good at "They need you to be able to withstand their own anxieties and fears without joining in. Oh, and don't underestimate the importance of staying very calm" although I'm OK at the food and laundrySmile

MI, am liking the flounce. I often want to flounce and then can't think of where to flounce to other than the pub!

MrsS, I think you should do exactly what QQ suggests. What a plonker for leaving you to do it allAngry

motherinferior · 31/08/2013 13:45

I can recommend the BL caff but have signally failed to acquire scholarly yet muscular admirer for wistfully torrid affair so shall return to obscure analysis of albinismGrin

hattymattie · 31/08/2013 13:50

Aaaw thanks Crem Smile.

So the British Library is where we pick up Darcy lookalikes.

motherinferior · 31/08/2013 14:00

Er no, I fear that was a fantasy too farGrin

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