Crepes of Froth

[MaybeBentley]

Bum! Just join a thread and lock it down! So I'll start the next one.

No decent thunderstorms here, just a bit of distant action. Good downpour this morning, though.

Most miffed that after all that heat, the week we'll be in Devon is going to be showery, and not warm. No lounging by the pool for me, then. It's going to be all improving trips to National Trust properties and queueing for rides in theme parks. Bah.

Yes, same here Herbs - was raining about 4 or 5 I think.

I was hoping for a trip to Broadstairs next week, but the weather's not looking as good

BD at "coitus" questions.

I awoke this morning to find I had had an inadvertent fake tan mishap. I have never knowingly bought or applied fake tan in my life. Turns out that I was in a bit too much of a hurry yesterday in Boots . I grabbed a half-price cocoa butter body lotion off the shelf. £2.50? Bargain, I thought, before rushing off to pay. Oh dear. Turns out the not-so-small print says "With a hint of self-tan". "Hint" my arse. My now orange arse.

Frantically googled fake tan removal and have slapped on oil and had an exfoliating scrub and am now looking not so TOWIE. Dh and dd still tittering.

Yes, BD - easy enough to deal with when they are 9/10 - it's more tricky when you have to broach the subject yourself with a teen

Stropps at orange arse!

Stropps I only did that once - orange legs and white feet (forgot to do the feet)....

God BTM don't even want to think about it! (I still won't be answering certain questions)

BD The problem is, it's not them asking the questions!

Oh Stropps whoops
Half a lemon dipped in salt rubbed over dark bits works ffr.

Bd interested to know what you said about coitus. It is used rather a lot in BBT . We love that show too.

Hi ruby! Shame about the cold. It's very humid here ATM and no air-con.

Hi Ruby! I have just returned from trip into town to meet a commissioning editor, in company of schoolgate friend who is also (a) ravishingly beautiful model on way back from casting (b) very, very nice.

This is probably not the person you want to see when feeling hot, underslept, worried about holiday childcare and faintly murderous towards a partner who has done absolutely bog-all about childcare because he can feck off to an office every day. She was radiant, tall, and absolutely lovely. I was short and sweaty and I need a haircut....

Oh, I sympathise, MI.

I normally bump into people like that when I'm doing my fishwife impression, and roaring at the DCs for some misdemeanour or other.

No thunder here whatsoever! We closed the skylight last night, but woke up hot, humid and cross, with the garden still parched. Yet 4 miles away they had thunder and rain. How does that work?

DH decided that the best location for an 8am conference call with Shanghai, Geneva, and somewhere in Germany was our dining room. So I don't know why he was surprised when he was interrupted, firstly by DD2 noisily printing party invitations, then by DS having a top-volume melt-down because his hair looked "crap". I told him next time to bugger off to the office if he wants peace and quiet. I then left for work, taking his car keys with me by mistake.

I have also crumbled re childcare and holidays, and secured four hours of delightful 17 year old to do stuff with my two this Friday. DD1 will then moan - about this and next week's free course - but I have to work, dammit, and having them looming around moaning about being bored is Not Conducive.

Cremo - he knows what coitus is, he was just asking lots of (inappropriate) questions about it.... :)

On MI - sympathise.

I have to admit I have done nothing (apart from the rest of this week and next week re childcare ( - Barca and then my mum) - and I will be the one buggering off to an office and leaving dp to sort it ;)

Got let out early (and late start tomorrow!) Yay! But came home to DD and mates making a mess sushi before going out to eat. I need to sleep!

BD, that's the way to do it

at fake tan incident - wasn't there a thread on here once when someone tanned the baby?

What I have learned today? Green linen dress stuck in massive thunderstorm and torrential rain looks soaked. Black linen dress (on friend) is still soaked but still looks black - so at least she retained a shred of dignity.

I just told DS (11) coitus means sex. He finds the whole subject much to scary to ask any further questions. Having older sisters, the poor child is constantly traumatised by females wandering around in bras and other states of undress.

I'm off out tonight for birthday drinks with my gays in Clerkenwell. I've lost my voice, but shan't let this stop me.

I lose my voice every time I get the hint of a cold. It's very tiresome, and makes me think there's some underlying problem with me folds. Snigger.

Difficult coitus related questions your children ask:

"Did you have sex with anyone else apart from Daddy?"

"Does everyone masturbate?" On being told yes, the follow up question was "Even Nanna?" Errr...

Am envious of Ruby's holiday, less so of Stropps' orange legs.

"Does everyone masturbate?" On being told yes, the follow up question was "Even Nanna?" Errr... LOVE it

er hem Mrs - haven't had that one yet. I think my response would be . I'm waiting for Kate to come out (on the French telly I'll have you know)

Aargh my eyes my ears!
( ref: nana)

A job has come up where I work( related to departing colleague drinkies last week)
It is pretty much in my old field before dd came along and I entered the world of pt drudgery in a job I can do with my eyes shut.
Would be three- five months temporary full time.
Aargh I have sent the recruitment agency my CV this afternoon ...
Scary biscuits.

Go for it Crem.

Good luck Cremo!

We have (whispers) fleas. DP has done many noxious things to kill them but the feckers are still with us.

Oh arse MI
We have had great success with capstar tablets.
And eucalyptus oil is supposed to work in an emergency( disclaimer : not sure if safe for kitties)