The February Fabulizers - Where we turn chores into habits and accept compliments gracefully

[TrampyPants]

New thread for a new month! Everyone is doing so well, we are forming some great habits and, hopefully, feeling better for it.

some good links:

How To Be Groomed thread

Discount Make-up and Toiletries
Cheap Smells
Fragrance Direct
Xtras Online
Look Fantastic

Its also worth joining groups like wowcher and Groupon for discount manicures etc.

Baby steps are the way forward, and if you fall off the wagon and have a pj day (or week) its ok, just jump back on. We want to take more pride in our appearance, make an effort. As one poster said, "we think there's no point making an effort if we are just at home with our DP's and DC's, but they are the most important people in our lives - why not act like it?" I certainly feel better, my self-esteem is higher and I have more confidence.

All welcome.

Happy Fabulizing Dahhlinks

at status quo songs! I bet you look fab Jemima. I bought mine in new look and have only worn it once so far, for about half a day

Ive been lurking but not posting, Im having a real slump at the moment and I feel so bloody shit its unreal. Havent felt like this for ages tbh. Im cold all the time and its crap, whatever I put together to wear I feel ridiculous in. The sun looks beautiful right now but Im sat in feeling miserable, Ive got changed after the school run cos I hated what I was wearing but I hate this outfit too. Ive lost some of the weight that I wanted but 2 pregnancies have fucked my stomach and Im sure it looks worse now - wrinkly and saggy I should do the shred but Im too cold to move. Really hope I snap out of this soon, its making me feel so tired. A shit 'friendship' has ended too, I should be pleased about this and I expect I will do soon but Im still feeling a bit down about it, especially cos she'll make out like Im the one in the wrong... Need to cheer myself up a bit but dont have the energy or motivation to do it.

Jemima well done on your find, nice transition (as they say!) to wear with tights, top and long cardi or gillet into spring.

guymartin big hugs for you, now come on, you will feel better soon when your cold has gone. This was me last week, and this thread helped me get back one track.

Do two easy things : bb cream? Moisturiser? Lipgloss. Find an accessory to finish your outfit/give it a lift.

Plan the rest of your week get texting and see what you can organise to get yourself out (seriously I was stuck in all last week with 1yr old as I had a cold)

I think you need to go and try some new clothes in a small we size ~ what a nice problem to have! even if you go just try on then you can plan your purchases/have a cooling off period .

As for the friendship thing, I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis. I need to work on improving my self esteem. Before Christmas I removed myself from a clique at school. It's been awkward. I made a mistake in investing in such friendships. I have anxiety around people even though I am not shy. I'm sorry I'm not much help with this bit guy but I understand how such things can get you down but I do know being the house does not help.

Now c'on what's your plan? What are you going to do?

Ah Feelingood how kind Well I don't need smaller clothes, just bits to pull together what I already have. It seems no matter how much weight I try and lose I'll never have the arse or thighs for the skinnies I have I was wearing my denim shirt with a cardy an skinnies the other day and felt like an idiot. Dh said I just wasn't used to dressing like that, in any case I didn't venture outside like it!

My makeup is done, hair as usual. My friend will cut an dye it for me as soon as I have the cash - dh has just started his own business so we're not doing any spending unless we can help it for a while. I'll do my nails later and I've just been for a little walk which was nice and sunny.

Its the motivation to crack on that I'm struggling with - if I run and do the shred I'll feel awesome, but I just can't be doing with it.

With getting outfits ready - I'm useless at this because I never know what the weathers going to be doing, and I've got to be walking the kids to school. Its too easy to bung on leggings or jeggings, long cardy, coat an boots for this but then obviously feel pretty crap and frumpy in it!

I slung out my brown knitted jumper dress and 2 pairs of ill fitting leggings this morning so at least they are no longer there to fall back on!! Bloody things.

I understand your body image pain guy. I had 3 children in close succession and 2 c-sections. Although I have lost 3.5 stone and look much better in clothes, when I take the clothes off everything is heading south. But then I'm almost 35, I'm not going to be in the same shape that I was at 15 and it is unrealistic to expect it. I'm concentrating on dressing to make the most of what I have now.

I'm still super stressed with work, to be honest I'm using outfit planning as a diversion activity when I feel everything is getting a bit out of control!

I am freezing cold too. The sunshine is deceptive - I keep wanting to leave the house in ballet flats or without a coat and it is still way too cold to do that.

Jemima - I'm 31 this year and telling myself that I'm going to notice more changes etc in myself but today its bothering me. The crap 'friend' I've mentioned is a couple of years older than me, no kids etc has often made the odd comment about my post baby weight (when dd was 9 months old!) and things like that, but making out she 'didn't mean it like that' or getting snippy if I called her up on them, they've given me a complex. Dh says I cant/shouldnt compare myself to someone who's never had children etc and I know he's right but meh! This friend was such a gaslighter, I'm glad I've realised and wised up but I think I'm angry about it all. Why did I put up with it for so long?

Sorry you're stressed, I'm glad you're managing to find ways to distract yourself, I'm awful with stress, really find it hard to manage.

Yes this weather is deceptive! That's exactly it. My new friend is out in cardy, top, jeans an ballet pumps but this woman never ever feels the cold!

2 c sections, I'm 38, I'm a size 18. I wear skinnies but I follow my line if that makes sense, I'm equally proportioned IYKWIM.

Skinniest are a look you can definitely pull off, maybe try a different top? I can only wear longline tops with mine, and coats have to be below the bottom too. Maybe try looking through some images or just people watch and then try and 'copy' there combos until you get a feel for the outfits and what goes together, I'm trying to do this at the moment. I posted about my outfit in Sunday,I felt really mumsy, I'm happy with the separate but just hadn't put it together right.

It's great you have your hair and makeup done, as I said up thead I lived under my hood last week, so you are not doing too bad. I have tregging on today and a longline sweat as I'm in house and just had foot treatment, pedicure and manicure done as my mothers day treat this am. I am only doing school run I will stick Chelsea suede wedges and long black Parker. So get where your comming from with practical clothing, I've tried to vary my coats and boot! My mum thinks I'm a bit nuts people had one coat, dropped off and came away that was it none of this primping and preaning!

I can't talk to you about doing exercise, I'm still waiting for that fairy to visit Feel a lot of guilt about diet and exercise. I'm going back to weight watchers tomorrow for a fresh start.

So jemima and guy have you tried tummy control pants for the ahem saggy bits. I looked at them last week in M and S and there so many so elf which were £35 I didn't know where to start!

trampy where are you, hope you ok - normally about a bit more.

guy I'm pleased you have let go of this friend and are wise to it, good for you. I feel naive at my age to have been a little clique where things were said and I kind of just stood there. Wonder if she is jealous of your kids?

I tried tummy control pants when I was bigger (size 18/20) but found them a bit sweaty

Have you looked at Pinterest guy? I love Pinterest and Polyvore for giving me ideas of how to wear different things together.

What did you do to lose weight jemima hope its ok to be asking...and I agree btw, you come to accept this is what you've got to work with and its up to no one but yourself to make the best of it.

Ate less and moved more

It sounds simple, but that is literally what I did. I signed up with My Fitness Pal to keep an accurate log of my calories, and made sure that I was using more than I was eating. I started exercising regularly too (swimming and running mainly). It hasn't been a quick fix, I started last May, but I'm hoping that the fact that it came off slowly means that it will stay off.

I started at 15st and a size 20, am now 11st 7 and a size 12/14.

ooh can I just butt in? I joined Pinterest two days ago and it blew my mind!!!! so much inspiration for every area of life! so many lovely ideas and things to do with the children and of course looks to try, I'm actually a bit scared of my iPhone now because Pinterest could take over my life!

Pinterest has taken over my life...

Waiting for the salon that did my Shellac to ring me back - they have strated chipping and peeling after 3 days! Hoping they will take it off and re-do it for free. Not very impressed.

Last time I had it was brilliant. But a different girl did it this time and I think she possibly put it on a bit too thick as you can see the brushstrokes.

I looked on pinterest one day but didn't get sucked in and haven't been back

I lost weight when started running, but found the easiest way for me was low carbing. I always bloated after bread and pasta etc and thought that was just 'how it was', I definitely feel better for cutting it all out. I'm still about 6lbs above target. I bought a pair of spanx a few years back but found them too uncomfortable, and I thought I looked the same with them on as I did off! So they've been in my drawer now for ages collecting dust! I'm probably being mega fussy - my stomach isn't huge, its the skin and the slackness that bothers me. I just wish I'd appreciated how fab it looked before kids, rather than not being happy with it then either! So awful to think of such time actually being unhappy with part of your OWN body... I mean how crazy does that sound?!

I will take on board the skinnies advice, I've got lots of clothes but still go 'I've got NOTHING to wear'... I'm sure I could throw something half decent together if I tried, I'm probably not helping myself by just getting up in the morning and expecting to magically find an amazing outfit waiting for me

Feelingood - funny you should say that about my 'friend' - she is absolutely desperate for kids. Her dp doesn't want any (and to be fair to him he made that clear years ago). A different friend said maybe she's just using what she has that I don't - eg freedom to see her 'best friend' and her figure, against me to make me feel bad. Yeah my stomach bothers me but I'd never swap to have it back how it was, iyswim. I see now she's just very insecure - goes to work, comes home, that's it. Don't know why she was so willing to knock me at every chance she had, when all I wanted was to be friends? Sorry to go on, its helping talk it through. Thanks

Hoping tomorrow is better!

Salon rang back and I'm having them re-done on Thursday. She would have stayed open late tonight to do them if I'd wanted, she was very apologetic. She thinks there might have been some oil on my nails which has stopped it sticking properly.

guy I had a couple of friends who were really funny with me when I had children. I had my first fairly young (24), we hadn't long graduated and most of my friends were being footloose and fancy free while I was getting married and buying a house. I lost a few friends along the way, but I know that the ones that are still here now (and are godparents to my children) are real friends.

jemima thanks for info, yes almost isn't he same starting position, I was at one point 15 1/2 st big well done whoop whoops for you. You. Must love having a wider choice of clothes.

guy 6lbs above target, I better get a bloomin move in then well done you too.

Well I havnt been on pinterest, it's always getting referenced on MN though, must have a poke about at some point.

I've had French polish done in shellac today, mothers day present, foot treatment and pedicure. Last time it chipped the day after so I'm hoping this is better this time. It was an island of bliss in an otherwise vacuous day.

Hi all, sorry I've been awol, been offline for a few days. How are you all?

Jemima, I love my denim shirt, it's from h+m and is fitted. I wear it with my cords untucked or tucked into a flowery skirt a lot like this tell dh that the 90s are cool again andgrunge is the big retro style does anyone else remember dewberry perfume?

Guy, I'm so sorry you feel so crappy! Your exfriend is the one who has lost out, you're lovely. I get what you mean about motivation, I've been really poorly with my joints (a rib popped out yesterday, that wasnice) and a rare tummy bug. You just don't want to do anything. I'm a size 6-8 and struggle to like the way I look. Set aside a couple of hours and go through your clothes and accessories trying things together and adding a belt or scarf just to pull it together. I agree wrt the skinnies, they are so much more flattering than boyfriend jeans, loneliness loose tops and carries. Layer, layer, layer. Especially in this weather.

Feeling, bless you. As I said up there, just a rough few days. I feel a little better now though, fingers crossed. For the coat conundrum, can you get a cheap alternative? I am a coat whore. I have no allegiance. Can't wait to pull out my fur coat tomorrow.

I can't get into pintrest, I love polyvore and dressipi.com though. I also struggled when ds was born, we were the first of our separate groups to have kids and it made life awkward at times.

Great to see you back online Trampy

DS1 is competing tomorrow at the county Eisteddfod so I have to spend the day with overcompetitive yummy mummies watching him. I am going to wear: indigo skinnies, black vest top, denim shirt, grey oversized cardigan, elephant print scarf, black flat knee high boots. Lots of layers so that if it gets warm I can take one off to stop me falling asleep.

Oooh, that sounds lovely! What will he be doing?

Ladies,
Very impressed with your weight loss Jemima. Am on the post-baby (although the last one is now 3 ) weight loss train too, and at 12 st 5 I still have a couple of stone to go. But that is down from my heaviest of 15st, so am on the right track. MyFitnessPal / semi low carbing, and some running is the key for me. Slow old road though.
Trampy and Guy: sorry you have both been feeling rubbish. I hope tomorrow brings happier vibes, and if this sunshine carries on, hopefully that will help you feel more chipper.
Yesterday I was all glammed up for work - Mary Jane heels (from Clarks, which are unbelievably comfortable), quirky wrap skirt, black chiffon shirt and a cream coat. I got to the station and all trains were cancelled so it was back home to change into orange polo shirt and denim skirt and woolly tights, so much less glam.
Guy, its my opinion that anyone who is rude, mean or horrible is generally deeply insecure. So don't be sad that that woman has been given a one-way ticket out of your life, since you don't need to deal with someone else's insecurity, dressed up to be bullying and draining behaviour. Sounds like you are well shot of her.

He sings with the choir and recites with the reciting party. He also does folk dancing. He really enjoys it, but unfortunately it is the kind of place that attracts really pushy parents and I feel very out of place.

DS2 is a reserve for the choir, so is hoping that someone falls ill so that he can sing too

Lost another pound! Which means I have hit my target of losing 50lbs by my birthday (which is tomorrow)

Ambassador, both outfits sound great, bugger about trains being cancelled though!!

jemima, well done!! worth celebrating. are you doing anything nice for your birthday? and good luck to your ds

Todays outfit: cotton 70's style print skirt that was a dress till I altered it, denim shirt, red vest underneath, chunky green and silver necklace and tan waist belt with low tan knee highs. I was just asked to volunteer for the school library, dh and I are supposed to be going to the cinema today, but he has already pissed me off.