What can't you wear?

[AmberNectarine]

I cannot do:

Puffed sleeves
Florals
Ruffles

I tried on this perfectly innocuous dress yesterday and looked like a giant toddler, yet I see this kind of thing look nice on other girls all the time.

I can't be the only freak who looks like a prize knob in certain items...

Oooh I can't do flat brogues (I just don't look fashionable enough to carry them off!)

Also chunky knit jumpers are a no as they make my boobs look even more gigantic and mumsy!

I can't do shoes

shirts with epaulettes
wide leg trousers
trench coats (but I want one)
A line
maxis
racer back vests - braless

That fucking boho phase a few years ago was a nightmare for me.

I like brogues but I don't think they'd suit me either.

I can't do ballet flats - very wide feet that need good arch support.

Also puffed sleeves give me a sausage arm look.

Can't do yellow/orange/coral/olive colors either.

Puffed sleeves and ruffles, same as you
Skirts/dresses knee length or longer - need to be short
Cardigans
Chunky cable knits
Heels higher than 3 inches - but not because they look bad, I just can't walk in them

I can't wear anything with a dropped waist, just makes me look like a big box (large chest, very hourglass shape). The same for shift dresses. Also short jacket just don't work on me at all, they have to be waist length or longer.

Dresses that are gathered at the waist. I look like a sack of pastries tied round the middle with string. Bootleg trousers as they cling to my thighs-must be wide leg.

Shirts with collars - feel like a man
Low cut tops - have no cleavage so all you can see is ribcage
Cropped trouser - look weird

I can't wear:
V-necks (no bust!)
Waisted things
Pencil skirts
Most coats and knitwear (broad shoulders and long arms issues)
Shirts (same as above)
Empire line (too tall and look either preggers or like a little girl)
Boot-cut trousers/jeans
Roll necks

This is why I have a 'uniform' and stick to it. It is a case of 'have to wear' than 'want to'!

Any kind of normal ladies court shoe or pump, with or without heels.

Anything that has a rigid back makes my heels feel like they are on fire even if they don't rub.
Trainers are ok, just otherwise boots or sandals.

Shift dresse

Sorry, posting and cooking.

Shift dresses, I'm very pear shaped not a rectangle.

Cropped trousers or jackets just look too short on me (am 5'11)
Heels make me rock the tranny style (as above)
Ditsy patterns, peplums.
Skinny jeans make me look like a carrot (but am living in them for practical/cost reasons).

High heels, leaves me in agony thanks to PGP(SPD) even 14months post pregnancy
Ruffles/pleats etc make me look fatter
Pencil skirts- bum& hips too wide

High heels, I need to be comfortable and close to the ground (am good at tripping over as it is)

Very skinny jeans - show my lumps and bumps too much!
Light coloured jeans or trousers, just dont flatter me
Pastel colours or pink or purple - make me look drained
Skyscraper heels - I'm tall enough already
Shorts of any description look hideous on mr
Cutesy tea dresses
High necks make me look matronly

wrap dresses. No boobs.

High heels
Very flat shoes
Flip flops
Polo necks
Empire line
Drop waist
Trousers with slanted pockets
Plunge bras
Non wired bras
Brazilian knickers
Thongs
Boy leg knickers
Shorts in general
Shirts
Slip on shoes
Anything double breasted
Pastels
"Dirty" colours (beige, cream, brown, khaki)
High waisted trousers/ skirts

Probably other things too

Wrap dresses (no hips)
Shirts with collars (like Dexter says)
Those sweaters with a triangle bit at the neckline that Alexa Chung wears, look like a PE teacher/matron.
Most hats.

Jeans-never found a pair I look good in.
Polo necks-not kind to norks
strapless or one shouldered-again boob issues
cropped trousers
shirts-always gape no matter what size I buy

It's really good to know, and have a long list of, what you won't wear/don't look good in. It narrows down the choices in shops and makes it easier to focus on finding items that would actually flatter/be wearable (unless they don't ANY have stuff you want obviously)

Jeans too. Fat arse and slim waist, just feel so uncomfortable in them!

Wrapover dresses. I have big boobs and an ok waist so they should be my best friend. But they just never look right on me - I always look like I'm wearing a pinny.

amothersruin I was interviewed by a woman wearing a polo neck jumper and I could think it just how huge her norks looked in that top, it was very distracting!

Skinny jeans.
I'm short and slim, but pear shaped and they make my thighs look huge.
They never fit either, because my thighs are a dress size bigger than the rest of me.