What can't you wear?

[AmberNectarine]

I cannot do:

Puffed sleeves
Florals
Ruffles

I tried on this perfectly innocuous dress yesterday and looked like a giant toddler, yet I see this kind of thing look nice on other girls all the time.

I can't be the only freak who looks like a prize knob in certain items...

I can't do irony anymore. I saw a lot of that in Melbourne. The ironic cardigan and haircut.

Anything belted
Anything oversized or baggy
Flat shoes
Wide legged trousers
Scoop necks
A lines
Full skirts

Irony out here too although have heeled granny brogues that i do love. (also like a bit of tweed)

Ruffles and frills
Anything requiring a bust to fill it out
Orange, yellow, yellow shades of brown and green
Shorts - summer, winter, running, cycling - all make me look even shorter than I am
Skinny jeans - actually most trousers for the same reason as Netto See also Shift dresses
Empire line - make me look pg, but now I am maybe I'll just have to deal with that soon in order to wear anything
(most) Pencil/straight skirts - I have two, there must be others out there
Midi lengths
Long line jackets
Boho floaty stuff- too much like my teenage style that I thankfully grew out of

flat shoes
high shoes
shirts
trench coats/anything with epaulettes
skinny jeans unless wearing boots
round necked high tops
peplums
wrapover dresses/tops
A-line dresses/skirts
Capri length trousers
dropped waists
high waists
pencil skirts/dresses
ankle boots
knee length boots
sleeveless anything
court shoes
trainers
hats
anything made out of jersey
maxi length anything
mini length anything
wide trousers

Marsha what's an ironic haircut and cardigan?

Boy short undies
short shorts
long shorts
(have skinny legs but have hips...shorts look yuck
High neck tops
very flat shoes
anything finishing mid hip
anything floral
anything with a big print

Wow some of you have such extensive lists that I am racking my brains trying to work out what you do wear .

I can't wear:
super skinny jeans - straight legs are way more flattering on me.

Anything coral, taupe or stone coloured.
Those weird scoop neck tees - look v mumsy on me

Oh and long shorts make me look like a scout leader. I can wear short-shorts (beach only) and mid-way between short & mid-thigh with opaques in the winter.

Hmm let's see if I get this right. In my mind I have a vague idea and file 1/4 of Melbourne fashion under it.

Anti-chic. A bit like granny style. So purposely trying to not look elegant. Opposite of WAG style.

A big knit cardigan, maybe with holes.
Granny shoes.
NHS style black rimmed glasses

And saw a guy with hair short at the front and plastered down longer at the back. An ironic mullet.

Skirts

I only have 2 which suit me.

Happy New Year ujjayi

Wishy-washy colours
Flip-flops and other completely flat shoes
Anything pouffy-shaped below the waist
Skinny jeans
Polo-necks (although I wear them around the house if I'm not going out in the Winter for warmth!)
Shorts
Short skirts

In fact, I should just wear a well-cut trench coat with a fitted top, well-tailored black trousers and four-inch heels all day, every day because I think it's the only look I carry off. That works well with my SAHM status then

I can't do flat shoes, wrap dresses, certain pastel colous, anything too girlie, yellow, uncomfortable clothes, smart suits, anything from Reiss or Hobbs, over neat, trends.

Black
Anything shapeless
High heels without some kind of Mary Jane strap or similar holding-on device. Otherwise they just slip off my heels.

Loads more if I were to think about it, and actually I think a list would be a good idea to prevent shopping mistakes, so thanks to whoever said that.

Yes it's handy, the list could just be something in your head too. The other day I was tempted by lots of sakl items but then I thought "No, I don't wear lightly coloured trousers" "no that hides my waist, unflattering"etc and moved on. Making a list of what works for you is also helpful.

sakl = sale

Oh yes can't do anything from LK Bennett or Hobbs. So know it won't suit me.

The biggest thing is wrap dresses. I know I wore one once, it can't have been good. They were all the rage once weren't they.

And sandals or peep toes. Forgetaboutit

Bracelets.

I love them but I can't stand all the clinky clankiness.

carbondated I can't work it out - what do you wear on your feet then?

Mid heels? Wedges?

many things already mentioned:

ballet flats and flats generally, except loafer variety
brogues
any orange is forbidden to me
camel/tan/beiges
pastels
dropped waists
boxy tops or jackets
polo tees
denim jackets & leather jackets (see boxy)
double breasted anything
chunky knits
long skirts or maxis
booties & ankle straps make ankles look big though they are not particularly
long drapey boho things - disastrous
most hats just don't work
skinnies - I pass

Some of these things make me wince even to type, knowing what I have seen in mirrors....

oh and bold, statement jewellery
gold
bangles

Lots more since I posted earlier.

Bangles
Yellow gold
Polo necks
Scoop necks
Anything with ankle straps, esp. gladiator sandals
Anything double breasted or boxy
Dropped waists or high waists
Ruffles
Pastel colours
Shorts
Flat shoes with no arch support
Heels higher than about 2" for anything other than a very occasional night out
Any sort of mid heel courts - actually worse than high heels, they cut into the top of my foot.
Any shoes with bows on, too girly for me and there are so many of them
In fact I practically never wear shoes because it is virtually impossible to find any that meet all my requirements
Scarves other than chunky outdoor only ones
Any top with an asymmetric hem (ie practically everything in the Joe Brown catalogue)

Imagine someone wearing high heels, a poloneck top underneath a boxy ruffled jacket, bangles, pastel shorts and a hat. The ultimate in anti-MN fashion?

A line puffy dresses. Tried on a wedding dress and looked like a white dog turd

Maxi dresses. When they are hung up in the shops they are taller than me

Hot pants. no need to elaborate, surely?!

Skinny jeans won't go past mid-thigh.

Anything 80's-inspired makes me nauseous. Although I did create my own ensemble in my head, and when I wore it I looked like an extra from desperately seeking Susan. I had to punch myself in the neck