What can't you wear?

[AmberNectarine]

I cannot do:

Puffed sleeves
Florals
Ruffles

I tried on this perfectly innocuous dress yesterday and looked like a giant toddler, yet I see this kind of thing look nice on other girls all the time.

I can't be the only freak who looks like a prize knob in certain items...

Polo T Shirts
High neck jumpers
Beige coloured outfits
Thongs

maxi dresses look awful on me as do pencil skirts and anything high waisted. I also cant wear any skirt longer than knee length. Its actually really difficult to find a skirt at the moment, even tho I really really want one

Flat shoes that aren't 'chunky'. I have size 8 feet so look like the letter L.
High necked anything - make my tummy look even bigger than it really is.
Thongs since having DS - is it just me or do they become less comfortable when you get pregnant?

High-neck or polo neck

Instantly turns me into dowdy matron type. Hideous

My what do I wear is loads shorter

Skinnies
Leggings
Mini skirts
Vests
Long sleeved close fitting tees
Oversized knitwear
Massive scarves
Clumpy/furry boots
Flip flops
Assorted coats/jackets

Literally that is all I own, just loads and loads of it.

Trousers. I have a couple of pairs of jeans but ordinary trousers never work on me.

Shift dresses
Dresses gathered at the waist
A-line skirts (I can, I just feel like a schoolgirl in them)
Trainers
Pink
Hats

Wrap dresses
Flip flops
Small silk scarves

Polo tops I don't even think I could try one on would look 'hefty'

I have one to add. I have never, in my entire life, found a pair of shorts that looked good on me.

I like winter shorts but in summer hard to get right. I hate suits too I look awful in matching stuff

Shorts are evil.

Skinny jeans
High heels
Tunics (always land at the wrong part of my legs)
Straight mid-length coats (A-line/trapeeze fine but straight up and down not good)

Oh yes and shorts.

Heels - foot / ankle injury makes it painful
Shorts - I look like Lofty (Don Estelle) from It Ain't Half Hot Mum
Skinny jeans - not with this arse

Anything that is tube shaped or drop-waisted and does not define my waist.

Anything that stops on my hips.

Skinny or straight legged trousers. I look like a parsnip.

Anything with a high, round neck.

Anything cut in a masculine way, especially low-rise trousers.

I wear jeans, but only boot cut ones, and never , ever any other kind of trousers.

Oh yes, and shorts. They look like trousers - only worse.

Anything slouchy or oversized, I am too short. I need clothes that fit properly, which is a shame as I love that look.

Shorts
Anything too cutesy or girly so florals, ruffles, remember gypsy style blouses?
Crocs
Pastels
Necklaces
Drop earrings
Skirts
White jeans
Delicate lace fabrics in fact, anything delicate!
And that dress tag you linked to Amber which I also tried!!

And cropped tops or low rise jeans!

V necks - flat chested
Short coats - just look wrong
slouchy tops - I have no shoulders
mid thigh length tunics - due to narrow shoulders and comparatively large hips they just look odd. I wear a lot of skinnies with a knee ish length top/tunic/dress seems to balance it out.
Brogues - I like them but due to stick like legs and big feet they are a big no.

Me too, chartreuse me too.

I love those that slouchy, slightly cropped, wide, silky knitwear things in muted neutral colours, hanging off one shoulder, over a vest top.

I cannot think of anything that could make me look worse.

I love a good short (joke). But then I only have one pair I really like, so I think I probably got lucky.

I don't think I would ever find a leather jacket I could wear.

Anything with a dropped waist looks rubbish on me. My waist is where it should be thank you very much I don't like to purposely make my body look oblong.

Ooh and shoes with ankle straps. They make my legs look stumpy.

Granny chic. Looks fab on those flowing-haired waify student types.

I just look like me Nan.