So I've realised that I don't know what "frumpy" looks like...

[Blackden]

and therefore there's a very good chance that I am extremely frumpy.
I read the Boden thread with interest.

Can you please describe frumpy? Does it mean baggy and shapeless clothes? At my age I can't be wearing those 'BodyCon' type dresses (not got the figure for them either )
Or can you link me to some frumpy stuff because I just can't visualise it.

And, what's a 'wrong side of 45' woman to do? How can I avoid looking like mutton but not look frumpy?

I think clothes can be fitted (not baggy) but still frumpy - Probably just means unfashionable but also not a stylish vintage look, just sort of mousey?

For me frumpy is mum boots Those shapeless, jolly patterned tops from next with a drawstring at the bottom and jeans. I met someone last week who was v frumpy (but nice!) she had droopy hair, 90s make-up (mauve shiny up to eyebrows), ill fitting tops, those boots and stonewashed jeans.

I think it's also attitude, mindset. Have a look of some of the " mummy bloggers" and get some ideas - even if it's not what to wear.

eeks, yes I'm definitely mousey, it's that constant urge to blend into the wallpaper everywhere I go.
Hmmm this is a bit more complex than I first thought, perhaps need a big confidence boost.

Thanks, will have a look at some of the bloggers. I think if I pay more attention to fashion I'll get a better feel for it. Obviously I don't see myself emulating anyone in the pages of Vogue or Elle, but I probably need to get a bit more immersed in it than I am currently.

The blogs do have a slightly conformist opinion of what "style" is - skinny jeans and a scarf - but cn give you some ideas. My fave is doesmybumlook40.

what colours do you wear? you can blend into the crowd (in London especially) wearing black but still be quite stylish if the cut is good and you have nice shoes/bag - you just wouldn't stand out as such, but I think that's nice and discreet. I think the most frumpy thing is the 80s skirt which is loose and neither long not pencil, often pleated - worn with sensible shoes. But that's the obvious, there are other frumpy looks that's less straight forward . But honestly frumpiness can be quite sweet (i.e. on a person with good manners and charm, librarian style).

wips I reckon I've met her too!
Blacken, get your colours done and get a style analysis if you can possibly afford it. It has made a big difference to a lot of women I know, particularly those the wrong side of 45 as you say!
My point is that focusing on what looks good and suits you will be more helpful than what things a frumpy or to be avoided, because there is a certain amount of subjectivity involved in those judgements

Where are the bloggers? (Bit out of touch...)

Just google "mummy fashion blogger"

Frumpy is usually dated styles. So at the moment it would include

Most midlegth skirts
Most anoraks
Most beige raincoats
Bootlegs trousers or jeans
Patterned polyester tops
Most clothes from Next and per una
Many sensible shoes

Of course there are many exceptions to these. If you are young and stylish you can get away with soem ofthese items, depending on how you style it. Alexa Chung rocks mans brougues. Hedvig Opshaugs wears a yellow wooly jumper and gets in Vogues best dressed list. Soem women who are neither young nor slim but have a great sense of style can get away them. I can't .

Those aren't mumboots! (and I speak
As the coiner of the phrase )

They so are! It's the smoothness of them!

Heel. Way too spikey

I don't think they are either.

www.clarks.co.uk/p/20350802these are what i think of when i hear term mum boots

I think they're both mum boots! But the "Kendra" ones look lovely!!

Lol. I had the Kendra last year. Were from Portas

We're much admired

"Frumpy" is all about how you style yourself. If you are wearing clothes that you have had for years, that no longer fit properly, and you go for comfort at the expense of style, then you risk being frumpy.

It's nothing to do with age or body shape.

It is very easy to get into a rut, so keep reading the fashion mags/blogs, and look at what people on the street are wearing, and adapt it to your lifestyle.

Or book a personal shopper to challenge the way you dess and open your eyes to new styles. It is a free service in most large stores (John Lewis, Debenhams etc).

For me it means unstylish and somehow having lost your way!

This is instructive, if you have time to watch:

Mayim Bialik (frumpy celeb) getting a make-over!

No way are they mum boots!

To me someone looks frumpy if they look like they have lost their way a bit with clothes and get stuck in a rut with jeans/fleeces/trainers etc that they've had for years and don't update or change their style. I personally don't like a look that's too on trend but I think it's nice to buy stuff that flatters your body and makes you look and feel good with a nod to what's in fashion. Even the way jeans are cut nowadays are different to how they were a few years ago even if you stick to boot cuts for example.

Some people fit my idea of frumpy but are perfectly happy with that so that's fine but I think if you start questioning whether you look frumpy then you probably do.

Frumpy to me is old fashioned and not flattering. Illfitting. not sylish. Like most of M & S clothing at the moment.

Frances, I love that link! Just watched the whole thing :)

Mayim is just amazing.

I think everyone has a different idea of frumpy. Mine would include:

Most pastels, esp pink.
Any boots that look like this
Nearly everything from Next.
Many, many patterned tops unless well chosen and worn with a very good outfit.
Most black polyster trousers/skirts.
Boocut jeans/trousers atmo (unless clearly worn just for practical reasons, walking etc)
Suits with too much 'detailing' on them. Suits should be classic and simple.
Suits worn with too much 'trendy' stuff eg a few years ago when boho was the look and you'd see people wearing a brown suit to work with some big ethnic jewellery and a wide studded Sienna Miller style belt.