So I've realised that I don't know what "frumpy" looks like...

[Blackden]

and therefore there's a very good chance that I am extremely frumpy.
I read the Boden thread with interest.

Can you please describe frumpy? Does it mean baggy and shapeless clothes? At my age I can't be wearing those 'BodyCon' type dresses (not got the figure for them either )
Or can you link me to some frumpy stuff because I just can't visualise it.

And, what's a 'wrong side of 45' woman to do? How can I avoid looking like mutton but not look frumpy?

marriedinwhite your outfit does sound quite well put together. I've pontificated about what frumpy means but I'm sat here revising for exams in a hideous old brown flecky long woolly cardigan bought in Monsoon about six years ago. It's like a dressing gown and I only wear it in the house because it's cosy, but I actually took DC into town wearing it earlier, something I never normally do

What can we wear on our feet though??

(With jeans)

You know what? I actually think these threads are a bad thing, because they bring about self-doubt. If you like what you're wearing and feel good in it then fuck what I, or anyone else thinks. I we all wore the same clothes life would be so boring.

That being said, if what you are wearing doesn't make you happy then definitely seek (free, unbiased) advice on here!

I thought that Smile tip was quite good. Din't know what you're all so up in arms about. And everyone has to market themselves somehow - why not to Mummas? At least it's not going to be a 25yo telling mother of three under five's to where skyscraper heels.

And yes, Colours Done is v v Bridget Joneses mother.

The best way to stop yourself being frumpy is to keep reading fashion magazines. No-one is expecting you to look like the pics, obviously. It's the wearing the same type of clothes year-in-year-out that's going to show a kind of ageing, opting outness that can be frumpy.

Frumpy is not having your eyebrows plucked.

I agree about fashion magazines being uninspirational/unobtainable.
What I do is look at people I see on the tube or in the street etc. and make mental notes of what they've put with what.

people I see whose outfits I like, that is!

Lol @ mummers!

baggy clothes, hair which hasn't been styled properly, no makeup, anoraks, flat shoes (with exception of some stylish ballerina flats), waterfall cardigans, big jumpers, round neck sweaters, patterned tops, long skirts, most clothes from Next and M&S =frumpy

AmberNectarine I'm sorry that you think this thread is a bad thing. But I started it because I needed some advice and input. I've had some great advice. And I'll be taking what I can use from the thread and disregarding some other things.

I'm sorry if the thread has made anyone feel bad about themself. That was never the intention. It was just supposed to help me - and it has done.

Yes - fashion magazines are annoying. Most of the writers/stylists have difficulties with the idea that other people's lives are not like theirs. The "workwear" edits are a good example of this - clothes that are fine for fashion mag staff but would look ridiculous in a more typical office environment.

There is a middle way between being a fashion-forward trend slave and a frump. It involves (imho):

Finding clothes that work for your body shape and that fit properly. You have to be ruthless here - use mirrors and photos, look from all angles and be critical. It's easy to fall in love with how an outfit looks on a model but how it looks on you is more important.

Avoiding obvious trends. I'd make an exception for something you really love, though.

Having a good mix of classic pieces (well, classic-ish - there's no such thing as a true classic; everything dates) and more unusual pieces that reflect your own individual taste.

Not being afraid of looking a little bit different to others.

Good but not excessive grooming.

Being realistic: there is no point wearing fancy shoes and silk dresses taking a child to the park but you can still wear nice outfits e.g. boots and a machine-washable dress etc.

Tbh, most teenagers and early twenty-somethings look sloppy to me - I think older women generally dress better.

Another proud wearer of comfortable shoes. I just can't walk for hours on heels or ballet pumps. What am I to do? I'd rather my feet not hurt at the end of the day.

just painted my nails!!

It seems there is vey litle we can actually wear then. I can't afford LK Bennet, or Hobbs really. I hate Next, loathe some of Boden, wear little (verylittle) bits of M and S, and Zara/TopShop and River Island are really too young for me. So where do I shop. I will get stuff off the internet, but the cost of postage and returns pees me of, as does having to order a million sizes to get something to fit (I usally have to order 2 pairs of trousers in 2 lengths which means 4 pairs). Bythe time I've paid, returned and waited for refund a month has gone past.

I think some of this is also about demographics. I would really like to know a good high street shop for the over 40's. Not an internet job, butan older version of Top Shop), beacue I live in a big city and can't find anything on the high street that I like, so may end up looking frumpy due to lack of choice

My degree was in Fashion, I worked as a stylist at times and was reckoned to be pretty good at putting clothes together. I loved them. Now in my 40's I care much less, and am really not bothered how people perceive me. I always look perfect all the time

Onelittlebabyterror - tue, but there are comfortable shoes, and there are comfortable shoes....those Birkenstock shoes linked to earlier are inexcusable IMHO, as are those dreadful sports sandals (especially worn with a skirt).

No-one would expect you to walk for hours in skyscaper heels, but there is plenty of non-frumpy and comfortable footwear out there.

I would class all active sportswear worn outside the gym/pitch as frumpy.

And teenagers in those grey joggers, even they can look frumpy

Frumpy for me is if you look like you've got dressed with absolutely no thought - fleeces all year round, shapeless jeans, trainers with jeans, leggings with everything. Rounded shoulders and unkempt hair don't help.

But some people can still look fabulous no matter what, its partly being confident and having good posture and a decent haircut.

What about Gap oranges I hope it's not considered frumpy (I live in Gap stuff)

I must be frumpy! I love my bootcut jeans, and my hair is usually a mess cause I can't afford a haircut. I do have an awful pair of jeans but I can't throw them out until I find another pair of bootcuts to replace them

Tops - no idea whats wrong with patterned Next tops. I have to wear a certain style - narrow shoulders mean my bra straps show if they're too wide; and my boss told me off wearing low-cut tops! Also patterns don't show the wrinkles/stains.

Am let down by shoes though - have to walk a lot and be comfy - no idea what to wear. Any ideas?

Finally - cardigans. I get cold, okay. I've gradually moved from thick woolly ones to the more slinky waterfall kind, but still worry they may be too frumpy.

No, not Gap. I mean Nike/Adidas stuff-active sportswear, although not always worn by the most active!Men look reaslly frumpy in it, and horrible trainers too.

I actually think leggings can look frumpy if not careful. They can encourage sloppy tops and sloppy posture (Said in Miss Brodie type voice)

I am very wary of waterfall cardigans. I do like them but haven't worn any this year.

I am let down by shoes too. On my feet all day, can just get away with ballet pumps, but cannot do heels. Also think really high heels look opposite of frumpy which would be trashy I guess.

I can't wear heels anymore so live in ballet pumps with brogues/loafers/boots for winter or bad weather. Is that frumpy?

I would say depends on the loafer. hideous Definitely frumpy.

I would like to say thank you to the kind person who linked to the Birkenstock monstrosity, Amazon have now bought that up as a recently viewed item, and has suggested I would like to consider more of the nasties
Pollution of myAmazon!